[ SECRET POST #4330 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4330 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 37 secrets from Secret Submission Post #620.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Based on #1

[(Anonymous)]

I modded a fic exchange for a while. Most of it was nice and fun, which is what I'd hoped. But some people were just plain unreasonable and wanted to moan about things that weren't in my control, like the quality of the fic they got or whatever. Even worse... some people just straight up ghosted me. Like we were FRIENDS (I thought) and they knew that ghosting would leave me in the lurch and they did it anyway. They could've said oh hey, life got busy and I can't finish and that would've been fine. But they didn't even do that much.

And before someone suggests there was some dire emergency... no. I could see them posting to LJ and Twitter. They weren't so busy they couldn't retweet cute cat pics.

Re: Based on #1

[(Anonymous)]

I believe you. My rule is that for one person, sure, something dire could've come up. But when everyone suddenly disappears? Yeaaah....

Also, ghosting says to me that people just flaked. :/ Sucks. I've been there.

Re: Based on #1

[(Anonymous)]

I understand people have legit emergencies that can't be helped but it stung that people I considered a friend would do that to me. Like... why? There are no penalties for having to withdraw. I just asked for a quick heads up if that was the case. You don't even need to state a reason, just tell me you're out so I can plan around you.

This is the shittier part... because I thought they were my friends, I gave them way more slack than I should've. I thought oh, no way they'd ghost me, I'll give them a couple more weeks. Or oh no, no way they'd ghost me, something must be wrong! I actually worried that something bad had happened and went looking for a person... and there they were, happily posting Facebook memes and tweeting for the last month while not bothering to answer my e-mails.

Re: Based on #1

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT: Yeah, it really does sting.

My guess is that at least some of them ghosted you out of embarrassment, figured they'd contact you when they were ready to own being shitty, and then realized so much time had passed. Which is still horrible - but... I've seen it happen before, and have had it happen to me before.


I understand people have legit emergencies that can't be helped</i Like I said, I realize sometimes ONE person might legitimately have one, but when multiple people fall through with no explanation it seems more likely that people bailed, you know?

Re: Based on #1

[(Anonymous)]

Yep, that's what I figured. I still have a hard time forgiving people for not getting over their embarrassment long enough to send one short e-mail. I've been slammed with work, depressed and embarrassed and guilty about letting people down before. I've never ghosted anyone without explanation.

Re: Based on #1

[(Anonymous)]

*Nods* Yeah. I agree. I actually reached out to a friend who ghosted me even giving her an out, saying if it no longer worked, fine, I just wanted to make sure she was okay. (Because she wasn't posting on Facebook either, so at that point, I was starting to get worried.) She's posted to Facebook since, so I think she just ghosted me. It's crappy, even if embarrassment drives it. I guess I was really just trying to say I wouldn't take it as something you did wrong or anything.

Re: Based on #1

[(Anonymous)]

I was running a fic exchange and the person helping me got sick. They had all the fics and art on their computer and they were in the hospital so I could hardly ask them to try to send it to me. Which was 100% not their fault, but it still left me in a bad position. In the end I asked everybody to send the stuff again and then I had to figure out who needed pinch hits and everything went up really late. It was a very small exchange and people were nice about it but I regretted it.