fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4336 ]

[ SECRET POST #4336 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4336 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[OP noted they'd like to apologize for leaving out the l in "evil" and once leaving out the second e in Colleen Camp's name]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 54 secrets from Secret Submission Post #621.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... exactly to the same place and situation you were 10 years ago, what would you do differently about your life?

To clarify, you haven't traveled back through time as your current self. You're 10 years younger, with a chance to re-live the last ten years of your life.

Oh man. 10 years ago was actually when I started pulling my life back together. So I'm not sure I'd change much about that part. Before that, I'd have asked for help sooner and let people know that I was falling apart mentally. But 10 years ago is when I went back to school and started doing things right.

Stop trying to finish high school. Pack a bag and just work my way around to all the places I want to visit. Spend more time with my pop before he died. Take the kids in my family on more adventures. Kiss that one guy I never ended up kissing.

Get a job to create a work ethic.
Spend less time obsessing over the trivial bullshit that was my traumatic experiences in high school theatre.
Learn to drive sooner.
Accept my acceptance to a different university than the one I ultimately did.

therapy
therapy
therapy
therapy
therapy
therapy
therapy

Change my major and go to college in Oklahoma.

You got your degree in special education, right?

What would you change your major to?

I do! Maybe Speech Language Pathology. Or even something more general like Business. I'd also focus REALLY hard on learning Spanish.

I dunno. Even with hindsight I don’t know if I could change much about the last ten years. I don’t even know if it would be a good idea to do some stuff —like, my dad died 8 years ago but he was so fucked up by 10 years ago that I would be afraid to try and help him sober up and get clean. I could take the day off work and go spend the day he died making sure he didn’t OD and walk out on the freeway and get hit. I don’t remember what year it was when he dove through a lady’s window armed with an illegally modified assault rifle, or I’d try to get her contact info and warn her.

If I had my current phone and videos and stuff with me I could show my mom a scan of her death certificate and pictures of all the accidents and wounds and video of her laying comatose in her bed before she died, and try to convince her to sober up sooner so she would be eligible for a new liver, and get screened for non-hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2010 and maybe get a full masectomy.

I dunno. I finished my bachelors twelve years late, a month before my mom died, with money from selling my grandparents’ house after my dad and his older brother died. My dad had spent all my parents’ money on drugs by 2008, so without the money from the sale I couldn’t have finished school or paid for mom’s care. I would’ve liked to save my dad’s older brother but “hey uncle get most of your colon removed right now” would be a hard sell. Maybe if I could convince my dad’s younger brother to help?

I guess keeping up with my daily crunches and treadmill walking would be helpful. If I could look up past winning lotto numbers beforehand I could afford to finish school sooner and get everyone better medical care even if I couldn’t save them. Sigh.

Hey, I could’ve lost a bunch of weight, gotten compromosing video of the Chump, and put him in jail somehow! (Would’ve been in my mid twenties with long blonde hair and huge boobs.)

SA—and reading the comment below made me realize I left out being nicer to and spending more time with my mom that wasn’t kicked off by medical crises. And I’d try to get her to make things up with her best friend a lot sooner than right before she died. I mean, I did try at the time, but mainly by leaning on my mom; maybe if I’d leaned on her friend too things might’ve worked out better.

Are you Drunk Mom Anon? I've often wondered how you're doing and hope that despite your losses you have some joy and peace in your life these days.

AYRT—Thanks for the good wishes. I’m one of them, yeah. There was at least one other who may have been younger than me; they posted less often but mentioned living at home with their parents and siblings. Dunno if their mom managed to sober up; I hope so.

My life is definitely more peaceful than it was a year and a half ago and a lot less chaotic than it’s been since I was a kid. There’s been joyful moments, but mostly I just aim for content. I have a lot of work to do on the house (and my mental and physical health tbh) but I’m working on it.

I’m kind of glad my parents aren’t around to see the Chump’s shitshow. My dad was so far left he made me look centrist, and when I broke the election news to my mom in the nursing home she thought I was joking, because no way would people vote for such a disgusting idiot.

Wouldn't be able to really change anything. I was in a coma and the following years were rehabilitation and coping with losing our son. It's only the last few years I've started living my life again. I'd be kinder to my husband if I could relive the last three years. I've taken things out on him that I shouldn't have and he deserves better treatment. I'd focus more on family instead of friends. Take more walks with my dog. Spend more time making new memories instead of dwelling on old ones. But those are daily goals now anyway and probably will be for a long time to come.

(hugs) if they help at all.

Get over my self-doubt and really commit to following my dreams. Also be more aggressive about socializing/making connections and make sure I got therapy/psychiatry lined up before I left for school.

Also learn to recognize my warning signs of ADHD and depression so that I can get the help I need.

Probably go to school for digital marketing or something I could do remotely.

Probably nothing different unless I had the knowledge of the past ten years.

I'd be a lot more careful with finances, that's for sure. I'd have more faith in myself and my ability to care for myself, and be independent sooner. I'd give myself permission to be selfish, to pursue what I wanted. And of course, look for a therapist who had experience with C-PTSD and personality disorders (assuming said therapist takes those seriously). I'd go back to the gym sooner, and stop apologizing for basically existing.

I don't know. I'm in a pretty good place right now and I'm afraid if I changed things, I might not end up here again, you know? But I guess if I HAD to change things....

I'd probably just change things so I could accomplish the same stuff but sooner. So, like, I'd dump Hannibelle immediately and fix all that mess right away, rather than continuuing in the downward spiral. I'd get my company up and running a little smoother bc I wouldn't make some of the same mistakes and I'd know where to focus my time and effort. I'd reach out to qt3.14 a lot sooner and maybe rethink my life plan a little bit. Stuff like that.

Start college earlier, confront my inner and outer demons and mend some of my friendships rather than letting my sadness and bitterness over a situation I had literally no control over take over my whole life.

Of course thanks to those painful moments I am the person that I am today, but I wish I had realized a lot of stuff sooner rather than later.

My life would probably have been better off if I kept on the job search rather than sticking it out. Granted, now things are not that bad, but I ended up going through 5 years of toxic shit to get there.

Get therapy, don't bother with higher studies, switch earlier to another diploma. Try harder to fuck that one guy that one time. Get more therapy. Do fandom all over again with slightly different favourite characters and pairings. Get therapy again.

Going back ten years isn't going to change anything for me. With the path I already was on back then I did the best that I could to turn things around for the better and to reach my current situation. Which is rather stable and comfortable now.

But get me twenty years back, and now we're talking! I would politely decline my acceptance letter and not join the police force. I would continue with university - back then I had just changed my major because I didn't expect to get accepted to police school.

This might be the worst question I could answer;;...
...If I woke up ten years ago today, I would live as I did then- not try and adjust my life to a dream that was better left forgotten... I would never have made the habit of leaving my friends when they needed me most... no matter what I could/n't deal with at home... because they gave me every ounce of happiness when I needed them, but I left them cold when they needed me. I would have opened my doors, no matter what the risk, and given her a place to stay, before she was carried back home.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #4336 ]

If you woke up tomorrow and realized you'd been transported 10 years back in time...

SA

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