fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #596 ]

⌈ Secret Post #596 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 24 pages, 597 secrets from Secret Submission Post #086.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 3 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 - repeat ], [ 1 - not a secret but worth reading ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Because wanting an oppressed minority to be sex objects for you, but dismissing all of them as not worth knowing totally isn't bigoted.

Wait, wait, wait - so it only matters if they're "an oppressed minorty"? So it's okay if you don't want to get to know straight white men personally, but like watching them have sex?

I'm going to go bang my head against a wall instead of having this conversation, kay?

If you don't get the difference between saying something like the secret about a group of people who habitually get treated as objects and less-than-human and saying it about the group that holds the most power in our culture, I can't help you.

And if you can't get the fact that you're just increasing their status as objects-less-than-human by insisting on seperating them and treating them differently than the majority, then you're really not worth talking to either.

I think the point is that no one should be dismissed that way.

Is exactly my point. No one should be dismissed that way, but people are only upset about this because it's aimed at a minority. But if someone substitued "white people" instead of "black people" as the original poster of this thread suggested, nobody would give a flying fuck.

And, I'll repeat, people can't just erase their biases because others get into a hissy fit over it. It's better if we just acknowledge that they exisit and learn to move on and respect one another in spite of them.

Why is somebody saying they find it offensive because it reminds them of the real life consequences of bigotry having a "hissy fit?" You think we should just acknowledge that some people are bigoted and respect them and others think they should be challenged on their bigotry. If their biases are completely irrational and that type of bias has caused a lot of misery in the world, why is showing it respect or pretending it doesn't exist the best option?

Maybe because this person's particular bigotry doesn't actually hurt anybody or cause any hatred. The OP is guilty of nothing except what every other slash fan on the internet is guilty of, enjoying gay porn. The secret doesn't say anything about him disrespecting gay people or insults them or finds them less than humans, he just doesn't care to be friends with them, and that's fine. I don't care to be friends with hispanic men because they remind me of the race gangs that tormented me in Jr. High, and that's fine too. People should respect one another, but they should also be free to decide who they do and do not want to be friends with.

Of course everyone decides who they want to be friends with in real life. But announcing that you don't want to be friends with a group of people because they are all assholes only good as a dirty sexual fetish is revealing a harmful real life attitude towards that group of people and does encourage hate of this other group. The OP said all gay people are undeserving of the OP's friendship.

No, it said, though I paraphrase from memory, "I haven't liked any of the gay people I've met, so I don't really want any gay friends, I just like seeing them have sex." He didn't call them names, he didn't dismiss them as being "less than human" as some people are so fond of saying, and he didn't encourage any kind of hatred. All he said was that he chooses not to have gay friends, and he gave a relatively valid reason for him to have such a bias.

Besides, the whole thing appears to be a dumb bait-and-switch, so I don't see why people are shitting themselves over it. It's not that big a deal.

I still find it suspicious that other people saying that they think "I haven't liked any gay people I've met (though he's probably met gay people he didn't know were gay) and therefore I am pre-emptively judging gay people as not good friends for me(assuming that personality has anything to do with sexuality) but I like watching them have sex" is bigoted and objectifying in their opinion is "having a hissy fit" or "shitting themselves over it." While making a secret to announce your dislike of gay people based on the few known gay people you don't like is no big deal.

Well, it's *not* because we can't assume that the OP's only met "a few" gay people. From the information we've been given, it's possible that he's met anywhere from one to a hundred gay people and hasn't liked any of them. For all we know, he could have had a varity of experiences that led to his dislike. (And, for the record, I would assume that sexuality has at least some affect on personality, as it tends to be a rather large part of most peoples' lives, especially those who feel confused or threatened by it)

Whereas people are calling the secret-maker an objectifying bigot based on *one* line of information and making assumptions about everything else. Which is just stupid.

Plus, it seems hypocritical to me - the indication is, if someone enjoys gay porn *and* the company of gay people, but is not gay themselves, then they can't *possibly* be objectifying gay people and that makes them "a good person,"; but if you dislike one option or the other then you're a bigot and "a bad person." The world is not so black-and-white.

Maybe because this person's particular bigotry doesn't actually hurt anybody or cause any hatred.

You don't know that at all. This person could have co-workers or underlings or relatives who are gay, whom he snubs simply because of their sexuality.

The OP is guilty of nothing except what every other slash fan on the internet is guilty of, enjoying gay porn.

Well, yeah, that and bigotry.

"You don't know that at all. This person could have co-workers or underlings or relatives who are gay, whom he snubs simply because of their sexuality."

You don't know THAT at all. You're just assuming the worst because of your own bigotry, bigotry against people who don't agree with you or whom you consider to be closed-minded. Based on the information given, we have no reason to assume that he 'snubs' anyone. You're drawing unfounded conclusions based on your own preconceptions, which is *exactly* what you're accusing him of doing.

[ SECRET POST #596 ]

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