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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2018-11-24 03:32 pm

[ SECRET POST #4343 ]


⌈ Secret Post #4343 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 43 secrets from Secret Submission Post #622.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Advice/ Thread

(Anonymous) 2018-11-24 09:30 pm (UTC)(link)
^^^

Re: Advice/ Thread

(Anonymous) 2018-11-24 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Doh, that should have said Advice/Questions Thread.

Anyways, I just found out that my uncle passed away. He lived by himself, had a neighbor that would check in on him. He lived in a different state, me and my brothers are in other different states.

There will be lots of things to talk about and work out, the bank, home, etc. Is there a resource I can go to get advice on where to start with questions to the bank, attorneys, etc?

Re: Advice/ Thread

(Anonymous) 2018-11-24 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)
The personal finance subreddit might be able to help. https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/

If he has land/property, maybe Real Estate? https://www.reddit.com/r/RealEstate/

Re: Advice/ Thread

(Anonymous) 2018-11-24 10:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! This helps out.

Re: Advice/ Thread

(Anonymous) 2018-11-24 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
My condolences, anon. I had to deal with a similar issue when a relative passed away this summer. I hope this helps:

https://www.consumerreports.org/cro/magazine/2012/10/what-to-do-when-a-loved-one-dies/index.htm

Re: Advice/ Thread

(Anonymous) 2018-11-24 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh thank you very much, this really helps!

Re: Advice/ Thread

(Anonymous) 2018-11-24 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)
You're welcome. And honestly, even though it sounds nuts, Google anything you want to know about because lots of people have been in similar situations and you might be pleasantly surprised by how much info is out there. Your situation is different from mine, but one thing that caught me off guard was how much of a bureaucratic tangle was involved trying to arrange things like this from a distance.

Another piece of advice... don't be afraid to delegate. Hopefully you and your siblings can split up tasks and keep communicating with each other, which will help. If people ask what they can do to help (and they probably will), give them something to do even if it's a small task. Don't give anyone a crucial task unless you're certain they can and will handle it. Be prepared for people (even people you know and love) to flake or be weird, either because they don't know how to talk to you or how to behave, or because they're secretly crappy people deep down.

And don't let anyone give you shit about how you feel. Whatever you feel is the right thing to feel. However you choose to grieve (or not grieve) is the right way for you. Everyone else can mind their own business.

Re: Advice/ Thread

(Anonymous) 2018-11-25 11:48 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs*

Reusable pantyliners

(Anonymous) 2018-11-24 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Anyone have any experience with them?
ayebydan: by <user name="pureimagination"> (f1: alonso)

Re: Reusable pantyliners

[personal profile] ayebydan 2018-11-24 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Yep. I don't get periods now cause I have an implant but I used them for two years before that. The clip on around your knickers really well. I did not have any experience of leaks. You can get all sizes and numerous thickness too. It does not feel as much like you are sitting in a puddle when you are on your heavy days and near a change. Your skin feels much better and there is no sticky bit catching hair if you don't shave. Most places that sell them also sell a wee pouch to roll a used one up and pop in. If you are able to it helps to rinse them off just after a change to get rid of most blood but if not they are fine to go in any coloured or dark wash and come out completely clean. Bonus of cool patterns and added cheer at the worst time of the months :).
morieris: http://iconography.dreamwidth.org/32982.html (Default)

Re: Reusable pantyliners

[personal profile] morieris 2018-11-24 10:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I had no idea this was a thing.
ayebydan: (mi: mike yaaaaas)

Re: Reusable pantyliners

[personal profile] ayebydan 2018-11-24 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
They are really awesome and I would 100% back them

Re: Reusable pantyliners

(Anonymous) 2018-11-24 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I love them! I made my own using patterns on the internet and old t shirts for the liner part and nice quilting fabrics for the wings part. I made my first batch about six years ago when I switched to a cup and have never spent money on tampons or pads again. I have a few thicker pads for when my flow is slowing down and I don't want to wear the cup anymore. The first couple days I use the cup and thin pantyliners just in case I didn't seal it. My first cup cost me $55 but when I replaced it they'd come down a lot in price and the same cup cost me only $30 about a year and a half ago.

Re: Reusable pantyliners

(Anonymous) 2018-11-25 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
I love them for lighter days. I buy mine in flannel and I totally forget I'm wearing them in a way I don't with disposables.

Party In My Pants sends you a free liner if you haven't tried before.
ayebydan: (wwe: sasha banks title)

growing out hair

[personal profile] ayebydan 2018-11-24 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
So, I have had a pixie cut for a couple of years but want to try grow out my hair. Last time I did I got it to about my chin only because my hairdresser pleaded I postpone hacking it off until after my graduation pictures. I hate when it starts to get in my face and my hair is so thick that kerby grips don't hold it back well. Any tips for controlling my hair as it grows?

Re: growing out hair

(Anonymous) 2018-11-24 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Hats and beanies.
ayebydan: (pr: mako)

Re: growing out hair

[personal profile] ayebydan 2018-11-24 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Good shout for when I am not at work. Maybe need an army of alice bands for other times.
philstar22: (Default)

Re: growing out hair

[personal profile] philstar22 2018-11-24 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I have super thick hair, and I swear by argan oil. When my hair was long, I could never use hairspray because it just made it clumpy and hard and didn't actually keep it in place. But argan oil made my hair easier to work with and kept it doing what I wanted to.
ayebydan: by <user name="pureimagination"> (Default)

Re: growing out hair

[personal profile] ayebydan 2018-11-24 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
thanks!
philstar22: (Default)

Fending for myself while in recovery

[personal profile] philstar22 2018-11-24 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, so, my sister and her husband are leaving Monday. My mom is also having surgery on Monday and will be in the hospital for at least a week. So I'll be on my own for a while. Which is normally nice. But I'm still in surgery recovery mode and not allowed to lift things or drive.

Are there ways to do basic household things that won't be too much on my body? or places to look for advice on such things?
ayebydan: by <user name="pureimagination"> (Default)

Re: Fending for myself while in recovery

[personal profile] ayebydan 2018-11-24 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Put laundry in a bag you can tie and launch it towards your washer or kick it or...anything that is not trying to carry it.
Plan all your meals and if you can get your sis or and her husband to take you shopping tomorrow.
If you are scratch cooking pick a couple of meals you really like and batch cook. Eat one, freeze one then one day you can use energy to cook and another you can use it to clean something for example.
When it comes to chores tackle a room a day and always have a place to sit. Reward yourself for each task even if that reward is 5 minutes on a mobile game or fb or whatever it is you do
Try rinse off your dishes as soon as you have used them. That will make a proper wash of them easier later.

Re: Fending for myself while in recovery

(Anonymous) 2018-11-24 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Clear off your countertops and any other flat surfaces you can use. Now fill them all up with the things you reach or bend to pick up. Cooking can be a problem and it's expensive and unhealthy to eat store ready meals so I cooked in advance and then packaged it all in 2-3 serving portions and out some in the freezer and some in the fridge. Dollar store food storage is a thing if you don't have enough containers on hand.

I knew in advance I'd need to be back on a cane and I'm also terrible about leaving them scattered everywhere so I set them around the house strategically.

If feeding pets might be an issue, measure out the food in individual servings in advance so you're just tipping out a baggie of dry food. If it's tinned food like for a cat, that may not work. We have a dog and paid a neighbor kid to come clean up messes in the yard every day because I couldn't do it.

Other things to think about are clothes; what will be most comfortable and appropriate for the weather and your healing? Set it all out in advance. Let the laundry pile up; you or someone else can do it later.

Entertainment was a huge issue for me. I got very bored and was too isolated at times. Keeping busy with my hands passes the time better for me than passive activities so I ordered some puzzles and Lego from Amazon. Music and a nearly mindless activity and I was a happy little camper.

It's been several years now so I'm sure I'm missing out some important bits but I hope this helps at least give you an idea of things to think about beforehand. Best wishes for your recovery!