fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4348 ]

[ SECRET POST #4348 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4348 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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[Greg Sanders from CSI and Jennifer Jareau from Criminal Minds]

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03.

[She-Ra]

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04.

[Downton Abbey]

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05.

[Red Dead Redemption 2]

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06.

[Undertale]

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07.

[The Final Table]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 11 secrets from Secret Submission Post #622.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My parents have a great network of people who are always willing to help. Which is nice. Except I don't really need help (except in ways other people can't actually help me). And they keep calling. I don't know how to ask people to stop calling without sounding rude. For me, recovery is best done on my own. Being around people makes recovery slower and is exhausting. I really just want to be alone in my own home in peace without having to talk to anyone. But I don't know how to say that in a nice way.

Thank them and tell them you will call them if you need help.

This. This is the way. No need to be "firm" about it, just say you'll call them if you need anything. From there on, don't pick up the line when they call. They can leave a message and you can call them if it's important.

Don't put them in your contacts list, and then turn your phone to Do Not Disturb.

Sadly, they are calling the home phone. And I can't turn it off because that is the number my parents call as well.

Come up with a list of tasks. There's got to be something, after all. Ask if people are willing to run errands, bring food, drive people to appointments, whatever. And screen calls. In this day and age, surely you guys have caller ID? Don't answer all the calls, and when you do, tell people you can't always answer because you're recuperating yourself or helping your parents.

If you have to pick up (though honestly, I'm not sure why you would have to, can't you tell when your parents are calling vs. other people?), let it ring for a while, then apologize and explain that you were resting, or busy or doing some task that keeps you away from the phone. Tell everyone who calls that a bunch of people are calling you every day and you appreciate their concern but you're worried because you can't always get to the phone. It's a relatively subtle way to stress to people that calling frequently isn't helpful.

I've been in a similar situation, and while it looks like more work upfront, it honestly helps if you keep people updated on your parents' health on social media and keep directing people to the social media platform for updates and requests for help. Again, explain it's because you can't always get to the phone.

And stop answering the calls of people who are the most persistent after you've already told them thanks, I'll call and let you know if I need anything.

If you're comfortable with being completely honest with them and think they would understand, just tell them you prefer to be alone during your recovery. Even if they try and push it, remind them that you can manage on your own, and if needed, you'll call them first whenever you might need help. Or have someone who knows most of the people calling you, and have them assure the callers that you don't need any extra help.
Like the other anon said though, be honest.

But if that doesn't work, maybe play a little bit of phone tag? I don't recommend lying, but if you can diminish their worries by saying your neighbour/friend is already there covering your basic needs, it might help a little to get them off your back...?

Take the phone off the hook.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #4348 ]

Is there a polite way to get people to stop calling

Re: Is there a polite way to get people to stop calling

Re: Is there a polite way to get people to stop calling

Re: Is there a polite way to get people to stop calling

Re: Is there a polite way to get people to stop calling

Re: Is there a polite way to get people to stop calling

Re: Is there a polite way to get people to stop calling

Re: Is there a polite way to get people to stop calling

Re: Is there a polite way to get people to stop calling

Re: Is there a polite way to get people to stop calling

Re: Is there a polite way to get people to stop calling