Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2008-09-01 05:06 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2008-09-01 05:06 pm
[ SECRET POST #605 ]
⌈ Secret Post #605 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 17 pages, 401 secrets from Secret Submission Post #087.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 - too big ], [ 1 2 - too small ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - direct links please ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
142
A good friend of mine - one of the ones that doesn't mind that I shut myself in my room for weeks at a time and has somehow stayed friends with me for many years - is trying to get me to socialize more, because that kind of behavior is now inexcusable since I've started uni. I hate it so much. I hate it like burning. I've found that it's true -- social life is so tiring, and the number of friends I have isn't even high. Constant interaction with people just wears me out so much. I'd rather curl up with a good book or build gundam models all day. Also - chatting on the internet requires so much less effort when the other person is two million miles away and you don't have to get out of your house to interact. Yes, I do enjoy going out with the people who have made life at school/uni/work bearable from time to time, but feeling obligated to see them every time they're available, even if I can't always see them, is very tiring. I can't concentrate on so much at the same time.
The thing is, being the way I am makes life hard. I have few friends and few connections. I don't have many people to help me when I get in trouble. There are very few people that I can talk to openly when I'm feeling down. When those few people are not around, I'm lost. In some ways I think introverts have to accept the fact that we are going to find it very hard to get by without playing towards how the world is so focused on extroversion. It's unfair, but the world isn't going to change unless we change it, and I have no idea how a regular shy, unsocial person could possibly do that outside of a fairytale scenario. It's either the impossible, or we suck it up, and try to make do. Your foray into socialization is not a bad thing; it's preparing you for how to handle this kind of flawed world.
I wish I didn't think this way, but it makes things more bearable when I'm sitting filling up my social calendar while my friend laughs to high heaven, hoping to set me up with an Ianto Jones lookalike, and all I want to do is get out of the roller disco and finish sanding down Deathscythe's wings. I'm grateful to her, but sometimes I just want to curl up and sleep. I agree with what some other people are saying - if your friends can't accept the fact that you'll disappear every once and a while, there's no point in considering them close friends. You need the ones that will push you to go out but will still accept the fact that you need to be away from others every once and a while, without guilt-tripping you or making you feel bad.
I dunno what I'm saying really, but basically, I know how hard it is, but try deal because it's better in the long run. Dx
Good luck. D: