fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4406 ]

[ SECRET POST #4406 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4406 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Grown men are not children and women are not their parents. Nor are grown men schnauzers and women their trainers. Women are not compelled to give men cookies (or sexual attention) for being decent human beings.

As humans, we behave decently because we're decent, civilized people. If we don't behave decently, it's on us to face the social and legal consequences of our actions.

Men who behave badly simply use "women always go for bad boys" as a bullshit way of justifying their bad behavior.

NAYRT and

As humans, we behave decently because we're decent, civilized people. If we don't behave decently, it's on us to face the social and legal consequences of our actions.

I agree with this but there's at least some dissonance between this argument and the fact of women idolizing and wanting to fuck characters who behave in ways that are the opposite of decent and civilized. It in no way justifies anyone's immoral and repugnant actions. But there is something complicated there.

It's not complicated.

Those characters are fictional. They will never, ever hurt the women fantasizing about them because they are imaginary. Their horrible behavior is only titillating because it is completely under the control of the person having the fantasy, because they are the one with the power to turn off the tv, close the book, or daydream about something else. It's a little spike of adrenaline in a safe situation.

Claiming that there's dissonance between fantasies some people have and the rules humans are expected to live by is like saying there's dissonance between some people enjoying watching NASCAR and society expecting people to obey the rules of the road.

Those characters are fictional. They will never, ever hurt the women fantasizing about them because they are imaginary. Their horrible behavior is only titillating because it is completely under the control of the person having the fantasy, because they are the one with the power to turn off the tv, close the book, or daydream about something else. It's a little spike of adrenaline in a safe situation.

I'm not disagreeing with any of that! But I think there's something at least a little complicated or dissonant about the fact that, on the one hand, we supposedly want to be decent people, while on the other hand, fantasies that are utterly divorced from that being so widespread and prevalent.

So, do you think that about all forms of fantasy involving dangerous or unpleasant situations? Because there are entire genres built on those fantasies, and I guarantee you there are just as many people who daydream about car chases while stuck in traffic, or who mentally cast themselves in a horror movie when a storm knocks their lights out, or who act out cat burglary in their heads while waiting in line at the bank as there are woman who fantasize about fictional assholes.

I think that the relationship between those fantasies and our understanding of morality and who we want to be is complicated and worth investigating, yes, which is all that I'm saying in this instance.

And I'm not sure that a car chase is a perfect analogy for a relationship with a fictional asshole.

Only because it would be significantly more likely to wind up harming more people than just the one having the fantasy if it were acted out in real life.

But that's not what the fantasy is about, the fantasy is about Going Fast and adrenaline and speed and power.

And that kind of thing - understanding why people have a certain fantasy and what that fantasy means - is what I'm thinking of, when I talk about investigating fantasies. And I think that's relatively straightforward in the case of a car chase - it's easy to see how the person having the fantasy is the protagonist and what the subject matter of that fantasy is.

It's also about rebellion and doing something you are absolutely not supposed to do. That which is taboo and wrong is exciting, at least when it's a situation over which you have complete control. "I'm not supposed to want this, so on some level I definitely want it" is common to most humans, and isn't remotely unique to sexual fantasy.

That's certainly a fair point!

It's almost like fantasies don't directly correlate with reality!!!!

I can't wait for case to lock this stupid thread

It's almost like fantasies don't directly correlate with reality!!!!

Of course fantasies don't directly correlate with reality but they're still important to us as human beings

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #4406 ]

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