Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2019-02-02 03:29 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2019-02-02 03:29 pm
[ SECRET POST #4412 ]
⌈ Secret Post #4412 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
01.
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02.
[Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid]
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03.
[Haunted (on Netflix), "The Slaughterhouse"]
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04.
[Criminal Minds]
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05.
[The Promised Neverland]
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06.
[British rapper Big Narstie]
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07.
[Criminal Minds season 4, episode 13, "Bloodline"]
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08.
[Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider]
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 50 secrets from Secret Submission Post #632.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Should I become a single mother
(Anonymous) 2019-02-03 08:53 am (UTC)(link)I completely agree. I feel like a lot of people are either holding OP up to unreasonable standards of parenting, or projecting their own experiences with bad parenting onto OP, or both.
Honestly, of all the people I know, I have some of the highest standards for what makes a good parent. But I also firmly believe that predicting who will be a good parent and who will be a bad one is a lot more complicated than picking apart a stranger's comment on the internet. Some people become parents for seemingly good reasons and hate it. Some people become parents for misguided reasons and end up loving it. Some people think they love children and turn out to be bad parents, and some people think the don't like children and turn out to be great parents. Some people have all the resources and are neglectful and judgmental parents. I could go on and on.
I mean, the basic advice of "Do not think of parenting as though it were a montage in a movie; it will be exhausting in a ways you probably haven't imagined yet" is valid advice. But it's assuming a lot about an adult woman to assume she isn't already deeply aware of that and isn't already factoring it into her decision.
If anything, I suppose one of the question I'd recommend OP ask herself is whether she is prone to believing in her own idealistic imaginings. Because we all have idealistic imaginings, but different people believe in them to different degrees. Some people are easily swept up in their simplistic ideas of how things will be, and are constantly being shocked when things don't live up to their imaginings. Other people are rarely shocked by the mundane and challenging realities of life. If OP is more the former sort of person, I would absolutely caution her to get a good bit of experience with actual childcare before committing to anything. But if she is the latter sort of person, I think her own judgement is probably quite trustworthy on this matter.
And really, the reality, IMO, is that the majority of people have children. And the majority of people aren't that great at it. As long as a person is fundamentally fit, financially capable, and determined to try one's damnedest, why shouldn't they?
Re: Should I become a single mother
Re: Should I become a single mother
(Anonymous) 2019-02-03 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Should I become a single mother
(Anonymous) 2019-02-03 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)