[ SECRET POST #4424 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4424 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 11 secrets from Secret Submission Post #633.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[dinogrrl]

Ha yeah I have written evidence (two pieces, actually) that I had no interest in having kids way back when I was in first grade. I'm in my 30's now and that has not changed.

Some people change their minds. Some don't. Either way I find it better to support the person as they require in the present rather than make rather large assumptions about what you think they may require in a hypothetical future.

[(Anonymous)]

I think we also need to admit that some people change their minds also because they're pressured into it and/or assume they must be broken and go for it despite not actually wanting one and clearly having one will change them.

[(Anonymous)]

God yes, the amount of women I know who had babies just because all of their friends were having them and they didn't want to be left out, or they had families that expected it out of them (or had siblings who were having babies and then felt like they had to as well just to compete) is depressing.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Also, it's a lot more socially acceptable to say, "Oh, I changed my mind, I do want kids" and up until you're too old, it's possible to act on that change of heart and have kids.

If you have kids, and realize later that you wish you hadn't, that's INCREDIBLY taboo to even express, and you sure as hell can't meaningfully do anything about.

I think there are a lot of women out there who regret their decision to have kids, but keep it to themselves because they know they're stuck, and everyone will tell them they're horrible people, and they don't want to hurt their kid.

[dinogrrl]

Oh, absolutely. I have a friend who was in that situation and it's absolutely heartbreaking to see what she's gone through as a result (and the CHILD, too, ffs).

[nightscale]

I can remember not ever having positive feelings towards babies in general my whole life, but 8 was definitely the age where it started coming up as a 'one day' type life-plan and my response as always 'I want cats and dogs' whenever someone asked me about kids, and the teachers+other adults would ofc make sure to tell me that I was being silly and didn't I know I'd change my mind one day? All girls love children!

Over 15 years later and I'm still completely disinterested in children on any level, and ofc I still get people insisting that they know better and I'll change my mind.

(Spite may be a slight motivator these days as well tbh).

[dinogrrl]

Ha yeah same, though I insisted I would have a pet parrot rather than cats and dogs (I have two cats, two chickens, a snake, and a butt-ton of fish now, is that close enough?).

Yeah I still have zero desire to care for children. I never did the whole babysitting thing as a teen (or rather, I did. Once. Had a literal mental meltdown during). Now, mentor a kid who needs that sort of help, or teach camps and classes? Yeah, sure, no problem. But be responsible for caring for and raising one? Fuck no. That's so far down on my list of 'hypothetically enjoyable activities' that it doesn't even register.