[ SECRET POST #4437 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4437 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #635.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Question thread

[(Anonymous)]

How do you make grief last shorter? Last time I was a mess for at least 3 years, and now someone else has died and I'm looking at the future ahead, knowing I'll be that miserable for that long, and what do I do? (And yes, I have a therapist, that's probably the only reason why it got better at all. Years are still far too long to bear, though. I don't remember anything from those 3 years other than being miserable. All. The. Time.)

Re: Question thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry. Grief is weird and unpredictable and kind of uncontrollable, in my experience.

Re: Question thread

[(Anonymous)]

I don’t know; I still cry about losing one or the other of my parents and it’s been 9 years since my dad died and a year and a half since my mom died, but even right after their deaths I wasn’t miserable every moment of every day. And because my relationships with each of them were different, my grief for them was too. And for my grandparents and uncles as well. I’m sorry for your loss and your lost years, and I hope things get better faster this time.

Re: Question thread

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think there's any simple solution, unfortunately. There's also no guarantee you're going to be hard hit for three years just because that's what happened before. Grief can be unpredictable that way. You're already doing therapy, which is good. Stepping up the number of appointments and letting your therapist know you're going to need a little extra attention in the coming days/weeks/months is a good idea. Other things to try:

* let friends and family know that you're in a bad place, and develop a support network. It's hard to ask people for help, but really think about what you need at this time. Is it someone to vent to every once in a while? A friend who'll bring over Chinese take out, no questions asked? Someone who'll let you borrow their dog for hugs? People often want to help out in times like this, but they don't know what to do. If you can cite specific things you need (as opposed to asking for general, vague support and sympathy) you're more likely to get help.
* journaling - sometimes getting the thoughts out and in writing can be a good, judgment-free place to vent.
* let yourself feel however you feel - don't try and pigeonhole your feelings and emotions into how you think people ought to behave. Everyone grieves in their own way.
* be extra kind to yourself - this is hard, but try not to beat yourself up for too many things. You've got a lot to handle, some things are going to slip. That's natural.
* establish a basic routine - it's easy to underestimate how helpful this can be, but routines can be comforting because they're predictable in an unpredictable time. Schedule in 8-10 hours of sleep. Schedule in meals, and try to eat reasonably healthy when you can. Schedule in the occasional low key social interaction with people who support you, even if you don't feel up to much besides watching Netflix together and ordering a pizza.
* low key exercise - go on walks in the woods, anon. It sounds corny, but there's something about the timelessness of nature and natural settings that put things in perspective and give you time to think and untangle your feelings.
* line up the comfort media, comfortable surroundings, comfort foods - time to break out childhood faves in books, tv and movies, snuggly pajamas and cozy blankets, cups of tea/coffee/hot cocoa, mac and cheese, etc.