fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4455 ]

[ SECRET POST #4455 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4455 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[The Umbrella Academy]

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[Doom Patrol, Crazy Jane]

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04.

[Deathclaw Desu Ga!]

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[James Bond, "Goldeneye"]

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[The Umbrella Academy]

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[The Umbrella Academy]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 38 secrets from Secret Submission Post #638.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Marilyn Manson in 2009 on his breakup with Evan Rachel Wood:

"My walls were covered in scrawlings of the lyrics and cocaine bags nailed to the wall. And I did have an experience where I was struggling to deal with being alone and being forsaken and being betrayed by putting your trust in one person, and making the mistake of that being the wrong person.... And every time I called her that day -- I called 158 times -- I took a razorblade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands.

"I look back and it was a really stupid thing to do. This was intentional, this was a scarification, and this was like a tattoo. I wanted to show her the pain she put me through. It was like, 'I want you to physically see what you've done.' It sounds made up but it's completely true and I don't give a shit if people believe it or not. I've got the scars to prove it."

Calling your ex 158 times in a day to tell her you're physically abusing yourself. There's a man who knows non-abusive, healthy relationships with women for sure. Worth listening to.

Did you uh... skip over the I look back and it was a really stupid thing to do.?

I don't think "stupid" really speaks to the depth of how abusive and hurtful the stuff he's describing is.

And, I mean, this was when he was 40.

Because everyone has everything figured out by the time they're 20?

Seriously?

Why on earth should we cut a 40-year-old slack for not having learned that it's wrong to call your ex 158 times in a day while cutting yourself? Let alone actively listen to his opinions on abuse?

+1, I'm completely baffled by the defense. Mental crisis or not, that doesn't excuse the behavior! I'm so tired of people letting incredibly bad emotional abuse slide because the abuser has a mental illness.

Guess what?? Lots of people have mental illnesses, some quite severe, and they still manage to not abuse their partners.

Thank you. Jesus this thread.

I don't think "stupid" really speaks to the depth of how abusive and hurtful the stuff he's describing is.

THIS. I don't see how any of this is even up for discussion.

NAYRT—if he told her about it, that’s not just stupid, that’s abuse on par with telling someone “I’ll kill myself if you leave me.”

Guy in a shitty mental place, cutting himself and possibly on drugs admitting publicly it was a stupid thing to do.

Yeah, how awful.
*rolls eyes*

DA - Seriously, wtf? It wasn't "stupid," it was abusive and deeply cruel.

And he was *cutting himself*, which, to me, means he was in a very bad place mentally, possibly not in control of his actions.

How is that so hard to get? Do people cutting themselves in emotional distress (like my daughter has done), only get sympathy if they're female and/or someone you like, or...what, exactly?

What? Admitting to abusive behaviour doesn't negate the harm that behaviour might have caused.

And that's what it is. Abusive behaviour. Even if he never hurt her, placing responsibility for harm he was doing to himself on her, harassing her, trying to control her by threatening further harm (yes, even to himself) is all unfortunately very common abusive behaviour.

Never said it did. I'm saying that someone who does that wasn't in a good or right mental space, and the fact that he looks back on it and puts the blame on himself, not on her, means to me he learned something from the experience, and might have something to say about being *in* that kind of relationship.

I dunno, I've known too many seriously abusive people who pull shit like that. It's good he recognized how dumb it is, but it does make me wonder what other emotional manipulation/abuse he pulled throughout their relationship.

Maybe a lot. Maybe none. Still doesn't mean he has zero information to give about being in a relationship like that, and that his opinions or statements have zero worth.

I tend to not take an abusers opinion on abusive relationships very seriously. Generally they are not very accurate. But I agree he should be listened to, just it should be kept in mind his own history.

Being in a bad mental place doesn't excuse emotional abuse! There is no filter at all that you can look at "called 158 times while telling her he's cutting himself" that isn't 100% vicious abuse, and it's sickening to see anyone defend it as such. She was probably traumatized from that. He doesn't get to just shrug his shoulders and be like "welp that was dumb" and call it cool.

Uh, sounds like he was a little traumatized, too, and how in fuck do you know he just 'shrugged his shoulders' and called it 'cool'?

Yeesh.

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