[ SECRET POST #4470 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4470 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 33 secrets from Secret Submission Post #640.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Realizing you have feelings for someone else when you're in a relationship...

[(Anonymous)]

OP

Like I said in another comment, I feel like I really have no place to be judging her just because she said out loud the same thing that I was thinking. I get where everyone's coming from, that it doesn't look great to be telling someone else you have feelings for them when you're married, but at the same time...when you develop feelings for someone else when you're married/in a relationship, how are you supposed to handle it? Just not say anything and hope the feelings go away? Probably. (Sorry if I'm being dumb about all this, it's just the first time I've ever been in this kind of situation and it's really screwing with me.)

Re: Realizing you have feelings for someone else when you're in a relationship...

[(Anonymous)]

I think the wisest thing to do is take a hard, hard look at your relationship, and a hard, hard look at your crush. The tricky part is doing this while being brutally honest and realistic, and not letting your judgment get clouded by Romantic Feelings.

I've been married for 15+ years. There have been ups and downs, because healthy relationships require lots of work on both sides. But I can honestly say that I've never crushed on someone so hard I even contemplate leaving my marriage.

Feelings are just feelings. You don't have to DO anything with them, certainly not right away. You do have to think about what kind of life you want, what kind of partner you want (if you want a partner at all) and then figure out what decisions to make to get there.

Re: Realizing you have feelings for someone else when you're in a relationship...

[(Anonymous)]

when you develop feelings for someone else when you're married/in a relationship, how are you supposed to handle it? Just not say anything and hope the feelings go away?


pretty much.

Re: Realizing you have feelings for someone else when you're in a relationship...

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, you don't confess them. You keep them to yourself, because those "feelings" might not even be romantic so much as you may just be bored or looking for something new and hadn't realized it. It might be infatuation. It might just be a bad case of this skewed narrative of "guys and girls can't be friends." Hell, I mistook sibling-like feelings for romantic ones because I was dumb at one point.