[ SECRET POST #4530 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4530 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #649.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

04. https://i.imgur.com/8vq7AMX.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I think a lot of people, possibly including you, put too much importance on the physical part of the overall stereotype. When someone says "fat fandom chick," they mean a certain type of person, like you said. But tons of fat women in fandom don't fit or act anything like the stereotype. Most don't. It's those other people conflating a physical trait with a set of personality traits.

I'd say being active and visibly participating in fandom might in fact help fight against that. The more different kinds of fat people are active and visible and failing to be the stereotypes, the more "fatness" becomes decoupled with the personality traits people assume they're attached to. Yeah, people might look at you and think "fat fandom chick" but that's just an opportunity to prove that what they think "all fat fandom chicks" are like is wrong in the first place. Because I assume you're not, idk, hugging animu husbando body pillows and yelling about yaoi in public while idk asking actors what sex positions they would take with fellow actors and furiously spending your parents' money to purchase cats who you all name Khaleesi regardless of sex because fuck the patriarchy except for hot vampires. And if you are, being fat is really the least of your worries tbh

I mean, I'm not saying it should make it your responsibility to represent fat women. But I am saying it probably can't hurt anyone else for you to be Visible While Fat. If everybody socially aware thought like you and stayed home, people would only see the people socially oblivious enough be visibly be those stereotypes and not realize it or care... and keep thinking they're right about all the others in that group. Which they're not.

And if assholes who don't give a shit about reality just want to keep making fun of fat women in fandom to make themselves feel superior, they weren't interested in viewing anyone well in the first place, whether or not you were the one they decided to judge today. I don't think we should bother to give the opinions of people like that any kind of importance

[silverr]

*applause* Excellent, excellent points.

[(Anonymous)]

Honestly, this is how I feel concerning my very bad acne. No, I don't have it because I don't wash. I have a medical condition which actually gives me bad breakouts as a side-effect, and I've yet to find an effective treatment. But you always hear people making fun of the "pimply-faced anime fan", and I hate letting people know I'm into anime for that reason.

[philstar22]

Yup. Right there with you on the bad acne. I haven't figured out a solution yet. I'm also fat. I'm a total stereotype, but I just roll with it.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel for you, nonny. My brother had terrible acne problems when he was younger and the stuff people say and assume are just awful. Like oh, wash my face? Amazing, that's a super simple solution nobody ever considered, they just decided to live with this scarring condition.

[(Anonymous)]

My terrible acne is exactly why I never have any desire to meet my fandom friends in person.

[(Anonymous)]

I used to have bad acne, and in my efforts to remove it by any means necessary I damn near scrubbed my face off, and gave myself infections and scarring. I’m so glad I’m down to the occasional zit now that I’m pushing 40.

[(Anonymous)]

Not fat, don't have acne, but I'm too ugly to do anything but marr the image of fandom. I'm not ashamed to be in fandom but I am aware that I'm not making fandom look good, so to speak, but then fandom has always supposed to be about acceptance and looking past the surface. It's complicated. We shouldn't have to feel bad about what we like because of how or look, but we shouldn't have to feel so bad about how we look either.

[(Anonymous)]

i really hope you are or become kinder to yourself than all of that, you're beating down a lot on yourself in that secret.

we absorb the harmful messages that society instills about us and just being aware that it is happening doesn't make it go away. don't deny yourself your feelings, it's okay to acknowledge them, it's okay to have those thoughts. you can learn to move past it

[(Anonymous)]

There are a lot of negative messages in society particularly towards fat women. Try not be too hard on yourself, OP. If someone is being an asshole because of the stereotype of how they perceive someone else in fandom that says more about them than you.

[(Anonymous)]

You sound like someone I really wouldn't want to know.

[(Anonymous)]

Even if this is true, it's a pretty jerkass thing to say in this context.

[(Anonymous)]

To me it's the opposite. My fannish hobbies is the thing I count on making friends. I'm size L with some acne.