fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #635 ]

[ SECRET POST #635 ]

⌈ Secret Post #635 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

CITY STUFF → http://lolbuttsex.myminicity.com

And the Phoenix Wright kink meme (http://teagueful.livejournal.com/41371.html) says they need some help filling out requests! PW FANDOM, THE KINK MEME CALLS.

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 164 secrets from Secret Submission Post #091.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 2 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ex Machina is my favorite BKV thing, and I say this as someone who is pretty much in love with all BKV ever.

Now if only it would come out every month. >:[

Also I'm kinda unfortunately obsessed with Bucky.

I too love Ex Machina most of all BKV, in spite of my love for all other BKV stuff ever. And I read it in trade because I can't handle waiting between issues -- but waiting between trades is WORSE so sometimes I buy it off the wall even though the issues aren't in my pull.

And I have loved Bucky for a while! Winter Soldier was a great arc, too, and since his Proud Return I have enjoyed him immensely. Especially when he's side-kicking people, LOL.

I also want more Bucky/Hawkeye/Patriot Teamup Fiascos. So much love.

Nah, I can't handle trade waiting for anything. Well, okay, I was doing it with Daredevil and Iron Fist for a while, but blaaah. I am not waiting for Ex Machina any second longer than I have to, basically. Last time I went to the store they didn't have it out for some reason and I had to make them get it for me :/

I think we all know the greatest moment in Bucky's history was when his arm beat people up while detached.

Really what makes the scene work is the S.H.I.E.L.D. guy trying to reason with the arm. "Wait! Wait!" But Bucky's robot arm TAKES NO PRISONERS.

OH MAN OH MAN I TOTALLY SECRETLY THINK BUCKY SHOULD JOIN THE YOUNG AVENGERS. AND THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS.

BUCKY'S ARM IS TOO FUCKING AWESOME TO WAIT FOR YOU, SCIENCE MAN!!! EAT THAT SOVIET STEEL FOR AMERICA!

MAN I was getting Iron Fist in trades until recently but I just COULD NOT KEEP WAITING. I'm sure it will be that way with Ex Mach, too. I DO NOT WANT TO WAIT, BUT I HAVE TO WAIT AAAH.

And if Bucky joined the Young Avengers it would be the best thing EVER. ELI WOULD HAVE ISSUES! KATE WOULD BE A SMARMY FLIRT! TOMMY WOULD GO FAST AND BLOW THINGS UP. It would be awesome.

I would buy a comic starring only Bucky's robot arm and maybe Faustus's beard. Maybe.

See, with me and Iron Fist I just followed it and liked it a lot better when I read all stuffs in a row. I liked the MAGICAL KUNG FU TOURNAMENT but I got confused with the subplots and what Luke Cage was doing exactly. Same with DD, although I got off trades for the Gotham Central reunion. So I guess I can see why some people like that format, it's definitely nicer if you can be patient. But it sucked to be everyone waiting on Y trades when issue 60 came out.

BILLY WOULD FREAK OUT AND BE ALL FANBOY. BUCKY WOULD BE ALL "I HATE THE FUTURE BECAUSE IT WON'T LET ME USE GUNS." IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE. Although I am gunning also for an MU where everyone is just replaced with Kate Bishop. I love her so much. And I say this as a fan of Clint's weird "I sure wear a lot of purple for a white guy" methods of ex-carnie crimefighting.

OMG IT DOES MAKE PERFECT SENSE. And I would read the Kate universe books like NOBODY'S BUSINESS. Kate would drop in and Lex Luthor would say, "Where's that big blue idiot?" and Kate would shrug before hijacking his Vitally Important Criminal Software that Was Not Backed Up Anywhere as a means of saving the world and it would be AWESOME.

XD I love Kate so much. It makes me feel bad for Clint, because he's a cool dude and I dig him too, but he just can't compete. Though admittedly, the Kate Bishop and Luke Cage Beat Up Bad Guys and Then Play Video Games Book is one of my, like, dream-ventures so what can you do.

What? I really like Luke Cage, is all.

I endorse the sentiments found in this strange tangent to my secret! Kate Bishop is the best thing ever!! And it is really hard to wait for trades!!

LOL! I am pretty sure that everyone, at some point, wants Cap to take them in a Manly Way. Except maybe Kate, who seems to enjoy giving him backtalk and sass, as that is one of her many specialties. ♥

There's a reason Kate's dating Eli...

How terrible is it that my brain completed that with "because he wants Cap to take him in a Manly Way"?

He does not! How dare you say something like that? :( Eli is manly.

ELI IS TOTALLY MANLY. AND DOES NOT AT ALL WISH FOR OTHER MANLY MEN TO TAKE HIM IN A MANLY FASHION.

NOPE.

NOT EVEN LUKE CAGE.

(As you can no doubt see, this comment speaks lies.)

DEFINITELY NOT LUKE CAGE. AND CERTAINLY NOT STEVE ROGERS. :(

ELI IS FULL OF MANFULLNESS AND THAT IS NOT A EUPHEMISM.

(I speak the truth. DDDD: )

Why, WHAT COULD "MANFULLNESS" POSSIBLY BE A EUPHEMISM FOR?!

COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH ELI WANTING TO BE MAN-FULL OF LUKE CAGE AND STEVE ROGERS?

I THINK SO!!

ELI BRADLEY IS TOTALLY HETEROSEXUAL AND IN NO WAY WANTS TO BE FULL OF LUKE CAGE AND STEVE ROGERS IN ANY WAY. EXCEPT THE WAY THAT MEANS BEING AWESOME AND SUPERHEROISH AND LIKE THEM IN EVERY WAY.

>:(

Re: 105 OP

comixologist.livejournal.com - 2008-10-02 05:48 (UTC) - Expand

I LOVE THE UNIVERSE WHERE EVERYONE IS REPLACED WITH KATE BISHOP. And she would totally kick Luke's ass at smash bros or whatever, but that would be an AWESOME RELATIONSHIP man I wish the YA'd get out more. I'm all for good self-contained stories, and I like Runaways in its own Runaways bubble, but YA takes its tortured continuity and makes it an asset.

Also Luke Cage and Kate Bishop should invade Latveria.

PFFFT THEY DON'T NEED TO INVADE. Kate will totally get her dad to buy Latveria.

BUT SHE AND LUKE CAGE COULD INVADE ANYWHERE THEY WANTED AND WOULD STILL BE AWESOME. Seriously, I am all for Kate and Luke being sparring partners. I mean, COME ON. "Show him no mercy, girl"? I AM ALL FOR LUKE AND KATE OWNING EVERYONE.

I agree with you on the difference between Runaways and YA -- I love that the Runaways are kind of in their own little world, but I like that the YA kids are involved in the middle of everything and bleed over into other books. I WANT THEM TO BLEED MORE.

Into other books that is, I don't really have a desire to see them all pwnt. UNLESS IT IS BY BUCKY'S ARM.

DOES DR. DOOM OWE KATE'S DAD MONEY, HONEY??

Apparently Heinberg has actually turned in a script of some kind, so there's SOME NEWS on this front.

No way in hell could Bucky pwn Kate. I mean, yeah, Bucky could probably win in a fight, but you know Kate would just get the last word in anyway and call him "Jamie" or something and then she would pretty much win by default.

YES HE DOES. ALL OF THAT DOOM-MONGERING REQUIRES A LOT OF PAPER AND PR.

And Kate calling Buck "Jamie" is like the BEST IDEA EVER. Kate would do WELL in a fight - after all, she's still mastering her craft - but it would be hilarious to watch HIM react to her calling him "Jamie". He'd like, jaw-drop and go "HEY THAT ISN'T FAIR" or something xDD

OR HIS ARM WOULD TWITCH. You know the arm I mean.

HAHAHA I TRIED TO START A "KATE CALLS HIM JAMIE" FIC-A-THON ONCE.

And yeah, Kate's getting real skilled real quick, but c'mon she could wrap him around her finger with her quasi-flirting awesome ways. And then Eli would get jealous and SEE THIS IS WHY BUCKY SHOULD JOIN THE YOUNG AVENGERS.

I WOULD CONTRIBUTE TO THAT CHUNK OF AWESOME.

LOL, she is and she COULD -- the danger with having Bucky join the Young Avengers is that EVEN THOUGH KATE SAYS SHE DOESN'T WANT BOY DRAMA, SHE TOTALLY ENJOYS GETTING DRAMA STARTED.

Seriously! She was all "LOL ELI BUCKY IS HOT" and he was pouty for all of about 2 seconds ~~before deciding that he agrees~~. Man, it would be fun to watch Buck smack Tommy one, too. If only because he'd be all "PFFT YOU CALL THAT BEING A BAD BOY? WATCH THIS" and then he'd be awesome.

And Kate would call him Jamie. And he would stammer. And it would be AWESOME.

(You are so totally friended, btw)

Every week Eli walks to his apartment, to talk about further coordinating their outfits, or whatever it is guys do when they're alone. Today the wind rises up from the south, touching on cheeks and coloring them with red. And when Eli gets off the subway, Kate is waiting for him, kneesocks and all. Her back is straight, arms akimbo, and she's wearing the smile that Eli likes least.

"You took a late train," she says. "I've been waiting for like, fifteen minutes."

"What are you even doing here?" asks Eli.

"I told you I was coming, didn't I?" Kate never stops moving, her penny loafers sounding loud against concrete.

"Yeah, and I told you that you couldn't."

"Oh, I guess I forgot,” she replies, turning. "Look, you wouldn't even know where he lived if it wasn't for me, remember?"

"Fine," he tells her. "But don't think this is some kinda permanent arrangement or nothing."

"You're not the only one living up to a legacy, you know."

Outside the sky is a straight fold of grey. Eli thinks he might have stepped in some gum.

***
"Hey," says Kate. "Has he ever told you why he's, uh, not dead?"

"No," Eli replies. "Never asked. Maybe he doesn't know, maybe it's one of those alternate-reality things. Like with Kang."

"Oh."

"He's really lonely, Kate." He tries not to look at the cracks in the sidewalk, all of their little tendrils. "Like, I dunno. Something really lonely."

The blocks of grey they walk on are peppered with specks of quartz that shine if you look at them exactly right. But today there isn't enough sunlight; the sidewalk is just a sidewalk.

***
"God, Kate, he’s freaking eighty," says Eli as he punches in the keycode. The building looks abandoned from the outside; holograms and dirt make it seem that way.

"Yeah, and a total Rhett Butler dreamboat."

Eli looks at her and sighs. "The guy probably has real old-fashioned ideas about women. How they should be seen and not heard, that kinda stuff."

"I'm sure he's not that big an idiot," she says as they walk though the last door and into a room that smells like soap and sweat. "Not my Jamie."

"What. What did you just call me?" Bucky is waiting for them in the living room, and all the lines on his face are writing themselves deeper and deeper in. He can be awfully still when he needs to.

Eli looks a bit like a fish trying to peddle a bicycle. "You, uh, remember Kate. I told her she couldn't come, but--"

"We looked up your real name on the internet," Kate smoothly interrupts. "We couldn't keep calling you Bucky, 'cause of the promotion, and James is really old and stuffy sounding, so."

"So you thought Jamie was a good idea?" He's remembered how his limbs work, by now, so he can make like he’s choking something.

"I didn't!" cries Eli.

"Do you-- do you know me at all?" Once when Toro tried to call him something sissy, Bucky took the clothes from his sack and scattered them in clumps between the wood and the latrines. But Kate can’t set herself on fire.

"Actually I think I've got a pretty good idea. All you red-white-and-blue guys have the Grand Canyon size gap where your sense of humor's supposed to be."

"Kate!"

"What? That's how you are," she says, looking at Eli. "Steve too."

"Yeah," Bucky says, shoving his hands into his pockets, maybe smiling a little. But only a little. "Yeah, okay."

The space they inhabit is curved like a temple, filled with old records and the taste of cardboard. They stay there past the sunset, till their shadows write clever shapes upon the wall before fading into nothing. When Kate and Eli are leaving, Bucky exhales. This is what he gets for not upgrading his security system.

"God, you need to learn how to fight," Kate said, observing Eli as he tried to put some topical numbing cream stuff on all of his bruises.

"You keep saying that. It doesn't get funnier," he grumbled, fully aware that if he'd been hit any harder he might've broken a rib. She'd been harping on his fighting (in)ability since the transfusion. Eli didn't like to think or talk about that transfusion much, so he was not the most appreciative guy.

"Seriously, Eli. I could take you blindfolded." Kate was running her fingers through that thick, soft hair of hers - which was unfair, because Eli found it distracting.

"Yeah, right - threaten the guy with super-strength."
"It's not super, it's pushed to the limits of human capability."
"Details," he said, frowning.

She smirked.

"You want a bet, girl, I'll give you a bet," Eli said, taking advantage of her over-confidence. He'd been sparring with a new partner in secret for the last couple of months, and he was pretty sure that Kate was no match for a bionic arm.

"Bucky Barnes," Eli said, relishing the syllables and the shocked look on Kate's face. The look, sadly, only lasted about two seconds.

Then it was replaced by a horribly gleeful expression that Eli was sure he hadn't seen before. If he had seen that look, he'd blocked it out of his memory.

"You're on," Kate said, before it occurred to her that while she could easily beat the crap out of Eli, Captain fucking America might be another story.

"Oh," she said to herself later, remembering that they'd shook on it, "Crap."

---

"You can't seriously be wasting my time with this," Buck said, giving Kate an exhasperated look.

"I'm not wasting your time," Kate said brightly, "Just risking your cover the longer you leave me standing outside of your hologram."

Bucky stared at her for a moment.
"Aren't you going to invite me in?" Kate gave him her best charming smile. Everybody loved that smile. Well, everybody who didn't KNOW her thought that it looked incredibly sweet, and everyone who did knew that it meant too much trouble to complain about.

After a moment of wrestling with himself, Bucky gave in and stepped aside, giving Kate room to step in and drop her duffel. Buck was thinking he should know better than to let this girl - this kid - into his space.

And what did she have a duffel bag for, anyway, she was already in training gear. She was already wrapping her wrists with athletic tape.

"You want to fight me," Bucky asked again, closing the door and sizing her up. She was small. He'd seen her move quickly and knew she was competant, but his confidence still came through in his voice. She was a little girl. He'd crush her.

"I want to beat you," Kate clarified for him, "but I don't want you to let me."

He couldn't help but smirk. Her fiestiness was endearing - it was no wonder Steve had given her the name, and that Clint had let her keep the bow.

"Okay," Bucky said with an eventual shrug, before guiding her into his training room.

---

It was almost a full hour of punches and blocks, throws and grapples, hairpulling and other dirty tactics, Kate was breathing heavily and resorting to using tools.

"You can't just hit me with a chair!" Bucky said, trying to roll out of her way with only moderate success.

"I'll hit you with whatever I want, I'm gonna win this fight," Kate said between deep breaths, before she abandoned the chair to dodge his detatched, still-sentient arm. She had wrenched it out of place in that last fifteen minutes. It was still wriggling to get her back for that. She wanted to try and use the arm to hit Bucky, but that hadn't quite worked out - she'd almost broken her wrist wrestling with it.

"You're not going to win this fight," Bucky argued, and landed a kick in Kate's belly, sending her into a backwards sprawl. Kate landed sharply and groaned.

"You say that like I've used all of the tools at my disposal," Kate snapped.
"What, let me guess," Bucky started, "You're not left handed?"

Kate glared at him. "You're old, and not supposed to get pop culture references."
Bucky laughed, but placed his hand over his heart as though wounded.
"I'm old! Oh, I've been pierced to the quick."

"Keep gloating, that'll look real good when I get the final word," Kate said, a warning tone in her voice even as she watched Buck strap his bionic arm back on.
"The last word, huh?" He asked, absently moving to the mini-fridge on the far wall to get them each a bottle of water. So far as he was concerned, this fight was finished and he was the conqueror.
"What word would that be, girly?"

Kate smiled a wicked smile.

"♥ ~Jamie~ ♥."

---

"I cannot believe this!" Eli howled, glaring at the pair of them. Kate was gloating, which didn't make this any easier.

Bucky Barnes, Captain fucking America, ran his hand through his hair and shrugged. "She won, man. What can I say?"

"HOW?!" Eli's expression was priceless. Kate was really starting to regret her decision not to have Billy invisibly video tape this whole exchange.

"You know how it is with girls," Buck said, leaning in close to Eli where Kate couldn't hear, "Sometimes you just have to let them have the last word."

YES YOU ARE MY HERO NOW I WILL TOTALLY WEAR MY UNDERWEAR OUTSIDE MY PANTS FOR YOU ♥ ♥

Re: PART TWO

comixologist.livejournal.com - 2008-10-02 05:22 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #635 ]

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CRAPPY COMMENT FIC GO GO GO

I SEE YOUR COMMENTFIC AND RAISE YOU... MORE COMMENTFIC!

PART TWO

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Re: PART TWO