There is an enormous difference between putting forward an idealised version of yourself, by wearing make up or talking up your career or status, yes, lying in whatever way, to drugging someone who'd said they weren't interested in you so that they'd be more compliant.

If Owen had used Rohypnol instead of an alien sci-fi spray would his actions still be defensible? Just because he did not use physical force to coerce the other party, doesn't mean it wasn't rape. And just because the other party did not and was not in a position to make a complaint against him doesn't negate the fact it was rape either.