[ SECRET POST #644 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #644 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

CITY STUFF → http://lolbuttsex.myminicity.com

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #092.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 2 - repeat ], [ 1 - personal attack ], [ 1 - doing it wrong ], [ 1 - what ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

108

[ronsard.livejournal.com]

108. Apologies for possible preachy-ness, but your secret sounds sincere so I'm going to try my best.

You're not sick, and definitely not the first person to have faced this issue, but I hope you will understand someday that what you (and so many other Asian girls) do has nothing to do with wanting to be Asian at all. You are Asian, regardless of what you look like. Having spent a large part of my life growing up in Asia, I know the pressure to be pale, to look thin, to have a certain type of look... I understand it all, and in high school, yeah, I bought the whitening cream, I dyed my hair brown, I even had friends who bleached their skin. I was jealous of all the stick thin girls because my God, why are all Asian girls thin, why am I not as thin (I wore sizes 2-4, clearly a whale). And when I lived in the States and went to a predominantly-white school, sometimes, hell,I wished I were white myself, just to make things easier. It's all about the pressure.

But the thing is you have to stop giving a shit. I'm not saying it's not okay to want to look good -- but you have to know what 'good' means for you, not how it's defined by some cultural stereotype, even when that stereotype is imposed by people of that very culture. For me, it's: hey, I do look better with pale skin, but now it's more about "exfoliating more!" and "wear hats" and "don't stay out in the sun too long!" as opposed to chemical enhancement. I'm cool with my weight and my natural hair, and I think those round contacts are really creepy, make you look like geckos. On a college campus full of rich white kids, I don't feel the least bit intimidated, because I know how hard I worked to get here -- and on the Lunar New Year, guess who has to pay money to eat the food I make and see me dance in my fucking sexy traditional costume?

Things like cultural pride and identity are hard to define, and it's a personal, on-going journey for everyone, but the above? That's part of what I believe being Asian is really about. I think you'll become more comfortable with yourself as you grow more into your skin, but you've definitely got to stop thinking, "This is making me more anime/Asian/reptilian, etc." And God, get yourself a non-airbrushed picture of Utada Hikaru without her makeup immediately.

Re: 108

[mahkia.livejournal.com]

Not preachy; beautifully worded. &hearts

Re: 108

[lunarwhirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Seriously.

I sometimes feel ashamed of my non-asian half (I'm half-Chinese, half Puerto Rican; I also get that I look Hindu or Gypsy all the time o.O) and wish I could be "more Asian." Maybe it's because of the way I was raised (my Chinese nana had a good deal of influence on me, growing up) and wanting to separate myself from the disgusting way my (white, adoptive) parents acted, maybe it's vanity, I don't know. My whole life, however, I have wanted to look more Chinese than I do. I used to tug on the corners of my eyes in the mirror (Still do sometimes, shamefully), I stay the hell out of the sun whenever I can, I wear clothes that (hopefully) hide my hips (I'm a 4-6; gi-frikkin'-gantic).

It's terrible of me, but I can't understand the pressure to be more "White" when all I wanna do is look more like my heritage.

Re: 108

[gomimushi.livejournal.com]

Oh god, thank you. You word things so eloquently. And your fics are godlike too, just btw

I think it's difficult to be an Asian (or any minority, really) growing up overseas, especially in a western country. You never really feel like you properly "fit in" anywhere until you're fairly comfortable with yourself, and even then it's always there somewhere at the back of your mind...

Not that I'm 100% without my insecurities, but still... I'm always aware of how I'm different from everyone else. Looking like you fit in, or fitting a stereotype might help you a little, but it's just a painkiller; you have to do something about the source of the hurt and then you can stop taking it and feel good about yourself.

I'm probably still working on it, myself...

Re: 108

[mardigrasmaven.livejournal.com]

I can't begin to say how many times I've wished I wasn't my race (Black) because it seems that nobody likes us. I'm a size 8/9-genetics rule guys! >.>- and everyone only thinks we're cool if we can rap and/or dance... things I can't do at all...
Everyone thinks I'm a bitch when I'm just defending myself, because if someone harasses me, I can't just defend myself, I have to be a "Uppity, loud, bitch" too. So I basically have to let people walk all over me or everyone's gonna think I'm gonna shank them-when they didn't even do anything- and the person that pissed me off.
I'm supposed to know how to braid hair, fry chicken, and understand the slang of every last person cuz I have to know ebonics, right?
I've wanted to be White, I've wanted to be Asian... all that... because then I felt people would like me more... and that my personality and who I am would be more accepted in those races than in my own... because it is.
So you be proud to be Asian, being the Asian you ARE now without all those treatments and whatnot.
And I'll do the same... try to be proud of being Black.