fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4644 ]

[ SECRET POST #4644 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4644 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #665.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Everyone I know who's had an abortion has ended up suffering with their mental health because of it. It's not exactly a small decision and you have to live with it for the rest of your life. Men can fuck right off with their opinions on it but in general we should never treat it as an easy option.

The mental suffering comes from the stigma and internalized belief that they've killed their baby (even if they've always been pro-choice and don't think they believe it's murder) not from the abortion. That's not their fault and their feelings are valid, but it's a vicious cycle that won't be broken if we keep saying abortion should never be treated lightly because it causes mental health issues.

Women can and do get abortions and don't feel bad about it at all. Normalize it in fiction, and less real women will have mental breakdowns over their abortions.

Or, you know, trauma over having had to have surgery on their private parts just because the guy didn't want to wear a condom.

Why do you think the man didn't wear a condom? They break sometimes, you know. Also, other contraceptives can fail.

I know you want to support the woman, but automatically assuming the man is at fault isn't helpful either.

Seconding all of this so damn hard.

The suffering comes from the stigma? I'm sorry but who the fuck are you to make that assumption?

And yes, you have killed a life in potentia. Some people may never grieve that potential life that was lost but some people do, and not because of the patriarchy or stigma or whatever. Do not fucking trivialise their sense of loss.

Dude by that logic everytime you have sex using protection you're killing a life in potentia. Am I murderer because I don't want to be a parent but still want to get laid?

Preventing a life from happening isn't the same as terminating life though. Comparing sperm, which any individual sperm only has a 1 in 80 million chance of forming a zygote to post-conception where it's more like a 50/50 shot of getting born is a little unfair. There's arguments to be made about body autonomy and when humanity begins, but condoms are a far cry from abortion and it's annoying when people on either side conflate the two.

I have had an abortion. I was 16. No mental trauma, best thing I ever did. The majority of people who have abortions have no trauma from it whatsoever.

The majority of people who have abortions have no trauma from it whatsoever.

Honestly, I don't think anyone can possibly know this until we've polled every person who has ever had an abortion. (Note to all posters: This is just a statement, and I am not saying or implying anything about how people ought to feel about having abortions.)

I think that it's been examined and analyzed and talked about pretty well.

https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/trauma-and-violence/abortion-trauma-syndrome

DA - thanks for this link! And for talking about your first hand experience. I genuinely believe it's incredibly helpful to other women to hear this kind of thing. I remember being a teenager and thinking abortion was this horrible, traumatic experience by nature, and one that very few women underwent, because that's just always how it had been portrayed. Hearing from people who'd had one and were honestly just relieved and grateful it'd been available to them made such a big difference in demolishing the stigma around the whole thing. It was only when I finally saw people contradicting the omnipresent "trauma and shame" narrative that I finally realized how irrational my own thoughts about abortion had always been.

I hate that women are made to feel that way. Of course, for every person it's different, but i have truly never met anyone who felt anything other than a bittersweet relief. It's not something people *want* to do, but when they *need* to do it, it is a very, very good thing.

I'm glad you got to hear some opposing narratives!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #4644 ]

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