[ SECRET POST #4651 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4651 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



__________________________________________________



02.
[Full Out]


__________________________________________________



03.
[Stranger Things]


__________________________________________________



04.
[Terry Pratchett's Discworld series]


__________________________________________________



05.
[Prodigal Son]


__________________________________________________



06.
[Michael Sheen in Prodigal Son]



__________________________________________________



07.
[Suspiria (2018) / The Craft]










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 29 secrets from Secret Submission Post #666.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

No actually. Most people don't feel very strongly about their gender. Most of those who do are usually those who think something is wrong, and that usually turns out to be dysphoria because they're trans. Most cis people don't really think about their gender a lot because there isn't much to think about. Saying "they're probably all just nonbinary themselves" is really stupid.

And the people who claim to be nonbinary are usually first and foremost in their assertion that if you don't conform to every gender stereotype in the book, it means you're nonbinary.

[(Anonymous)]

Most cis people don't really think about their gender a lot

NAYRT - That's not what AYRT said. It's not about how much a person thinks about their gender. It's whether they feel like their gender. I am female, and I don't think about being female a ton, but I definitely feel female. I do not feel disconnected from my female-ness. My brain recognizes my self as a female self without something in me going, "I mean, like, I guess, technically."

[(Anonymous)]

Since "feeling" female (or male) is something that very, very few people, even in these kinds of discussions, can actually pin down, it remain a very shaky argument to make as a basis for anything about this matter.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT—I’m a cis woman who spent awhile thinking about my gender. People have said I’m not female because I don’t/can’t always afford to spend time and money removing Gaston-level body and facial hair, so I don’t automatically pass as a woman. And it’s really upsetting to be told I’m a man not because I bleed out my twat every month and have ovaries and a uterus and two X chromosomes, even though I do, but because I feel female and being misgendered sucks.

When I was young and confused by puberty and turning into a pubescent Sasquatch, and people would say I must be a dude, inside I would be panicking, like, “I am? Am I supposed to be a guy? But I feel like a girl, but maybe they’re right and having to shave my facial hair twice a day makes me a guy... but I feel like a girl.” Sometimes I hated the parts of me that weren’t “female enough.” Etc, etc.

Maybe I’m actually wrong and trans people’s dysphoria is an entirely different feeling, not just a more intense “my body doesn’t look female/male, and people say I’m not, but I’m still a woman/man, because that’s how I feel.”

[(Anonymous)]

What you are describing sounds more like body dysmorphia than dysphoria. It gets confused a lot.

The thing is: The way people reacted towards you is kind of the other side of the same coin as people who promote nonbinariism: The assertion that you have to be a different gender because you don't look (or act) like the societal norm demands. And I find that equally destructive.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT—I think maybe you’re running into different non-binary people than I am, or only go by people insisting that x character or RL person is non binary for having short hair and an androgynous body type and liking both kittens and monster trucks. People who say (and believe) that kind of stuff do exist. I called them dumb in my original comment, because they are.

But the non binary people I’ve actually met aren’t out there insisting that other people who have widely varied interests, a gender neutral name, and wear clothes that could go either way (not that this describes nb people in general, but that’s the stereotype) are non binary, only that they themselves are, and that just occasionally it would be nice to see a non binary character in the media as just a normal person.

Which is fine, hurts no one, and makes you (general you, not you specifically) the asshole if you insist their identity is invalid, just like people insisting that trans people aren’t really trans, or a hairy woman is a man, are assholes.

I know dysmorphia and dysphoria aren’t the same thing, but my dysmorphia (which was caused initially by assholes being assholes, little me didn’t innately hate my changing body, other people did, and said so, constantly) was why I could relate to and helped me understand where trans people were coming from.

Obviously it’s not the same, because I never thought “dammit, where is the refund and exchange counter, I need to swap these bits for a penis and some testicles”, but the assholes who harassed me seemed to mostly be the same kind of nasty little bastards who—surprise!—turn out to be transphobic and want to police everyone’s gender expression.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT: "nonbinariism" (sic) is starting to sound like a big old dogwhistle to me, along with the repeated insistence that every GNC person is labeled as nonbinary, or that nonbinary and GNC are even competitive or antagonistic. Which is really weird because in my community we all tend to run in the same circles, admire each other, and support each other.