[ SECRET POST #4685 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4685 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 38 secrets from Secret Submission Post #671.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

My problem with adulthood is not being able to find (local) friends my age who have an identity outside parenthood.

It's cool you wanted and had kids, but if that is the defining feature of who you are and you can't make plans and do things without them...

[(Anonymous)]

Same. For me it's not they don't have other interests, it's that they it's easier for them to befriend, bond and hang out with other people who have kids, so they've done that. I'm not the kind of single person who wants to party until dawn or doesn't understand that parents have other time commitments. But when you don't have kids, that's a huuuuuge common ground you don't have with lots of other people.

[(Anonymous)]

I have this trouble and I DO have a child. It seems like my interests don't line up with other parents that I know, and I find it harder to meet people that don't have children. So I have the issue of needing to find childcare and can't do things at short notice/without massive planning, but those who are in the same boat aren't interested in the same things.

[(Anonymous)]

+1 Sadly... I'd love to indulge in nerdi ess while the kids play. XP

[(Anonymous)]

Same. Plus, our work schedules never lign up except on Sundays which hey... is apparently family day for most people.

[greghousesgf]

that sounds exactly like my neighbors

[(Anonymous)]

The weird part is sometimes I think the people who overly define themselves by parenthood aren't actually the best parents...my one friend who's had a kid pretty much feels this way. Not that I would guilt-trip people who don't hire babysitters, I just mean the people who boast about how devoted they are to their kids and can't talk about any topic that doesn't carry that implication.

[(Anonymous)]

Same, so much. I had someone contact me yesterday, trying to cheer me up after not having talked to me in like a year because they're completely existing for their family now and have left the fandom because of that. Admittedly does make me feel jealous when people have stable lives that they can leave their fandoms for, but where are the people like me who don't want a family and just want to concentrate on work and their fandoms? Seeing everyone drop out for their families and everyone in the fandom only turning younger is honestly depressing.

[(Anonymous)]

I was briefly fairly good friends with someone in a fandom and beta read her fic, etc. It was her first fandom and she was deep in it and then the second she got the elderly relative she was caring for into a home she dropped fandom and fandom friends like a hot potato, bragging about how she could have a Real Life and Real Job and find a boyfriend because a 9-5 job followed by missionary sex is the best or something.

[(Anonymous)]

It's frustrating because my mom managed to still do fandom (80s style) while raising two kids (she was a stay at home mom at the time, though, so she wasn't also trying to balance everything with a job as well). I've met plenty of parents in fandom over the years, too. While it's understandable that people have LESS time for fandom (or any hobby) when they have kids and I can't demand people make time for fandom after having kids, I do know that having no interests outside of parenting is a choice.