fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #673 ]

⌈ Secret Post #673 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Twilight Hotel]

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Notes:

CITY STUFF → http://lolbuttsex.myminicity.com/

Secrets Left to Post: 14 pages, 348 secrets from Secret Submission Post #096.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

104. Aaaaargh.
115. I don't even know what show that is but it seriously bothers me when people say, "If you don't like XXX, you are heartless/you have no soul." Because seriously? People are not all the same, they don't all respond to the same things in the same way.
134. I agree, for... similar reasons.
149. That is an amazing movie. Kudos for making a very good secret with it too.

It's Six Feet Under.

Never seen it, doesn't change my point.

Ok, just trying to be helpful and ID the series. No need to get all bitchy

Sorry. I did have a suspicion it was Six Feet Under.

It seriously bothers me when people take offense in secrets. There's a reason why every part of it is a secret.

Why don't you go whine about the ones that say, "I look down on you if you like XXX"? Clearly, that's a larger problem than someone's response to something.

Because it's accusing other people of having no heart? That's a lot worse than just "looking down" on someone.

More to the point: it seriously bothers me when people don't want other people to respond to secrets. I mean, duh, it's a secret. Of course. But it is being posted somewhere public, is it not?

It sounds a lot like you're trying to negate the validity of the secret just because there's something about it that you don't like. People come here to divulge secrets, not to be told that there's something about it that's wrong or accusatory. It's not wrong to them. I mean, duh, it's their opinion. Get off your high horse.

Look, I'm not saying they can't say it, I'm just saying I disagree with it. It's not about high horses, it's about expressing opinions, which everyone is free to do - the secretmaker, me, you. But I think this is where we disagree:

"People come here to divulge secrets, not to be told that there's something about it that's wrong or accusatory."

Do you read most of the comments to fandom secrets? People disagree with secrets ALL the time.

Obviously, to some people, even though this is about popular culture and not their actual lives, these things mean something to them. It's silly to get seriously bothered by or offended by a secret posted here. No one posts their secrets wishing or wanting for someone to try and make their secret less valid. Because that's exactly what you're doing, whether or not you're expressing an opinion back.

And to answer your question, yes, I read the responses. As someone who has posted a few secrets here, it feels a lot better to read a comment that's supportive of what you've written and what you like rather than some bitchy comment, jumping down your throat for writing what you wrote. Let's be realistic, here - I'm sure the person who submitted this does not honestly think you are the anti-christ if you aren't "moved" by what they are. It is just a way of expressing emotion, and what it means to them.

Believe me, these things mean something to me too! Which is why I don't like to be accused of something that I'm not. I appreciate that the poster feels strongly about Six Feet Under. There are plenty of shows that I feel strongly about as well. What I wasn't such a fan of, and what I should have been more specific about, is the way the poster worded their secret. And it's not just that poster either - many people word their secrets that way. I think there's better ways to declare your love for something than by insulting anyone who doesn't feel the same way you do. To me, it reads like a judgmental secret - and by passing judgment on other people, it takes the secret out of the realm of a personal connection with a show, which I certainly would not want to infringe on, and into the realm of insulting broad groups of other people for not sharing their opinion.

I agree that the poster probably doesn't honestly think I'm the antichrist for not liking her show. But I'm not sure what the point of writing that I'm heartless if I don't like her show gets across. I love Battlestar Galactica, but I would never say that anyone who doesn't love it is heartless, a moron, or an asshole. Yes, it's "just words", but language does have a real effect on people.

Of course it feels a lot better to read a supportive comment than a non-supportive comment - but I don't think that's a requirement of the community - it's not a support group. When I support what a secret says, I say so, and when I don't, I say so. I really don't think that my opinion makes any secret less valid, just like my not liking someone I meet makes that person less valid as a human being or even less of a good person. I feel like posting here sort of requires somewhat of a thick skin, I guess. The posters are anonymous - that's their protection. But you can't make a declaration to the world and expect everyone to applaud just because it's your declaration; there will be some people who disagree. That's not the way the world works in any shape or form - the fact that here posters stay anonymous is already a lot more protection than they would get anywhere else.

I know this is probably futile, because we will never agree, but alas...

I realize this isn't a support group, but when someone has the gumption enough to say something they wouldn't normally say out loud, no matter what medium it's in or whether or not they may be anonymous says a lot about the people who make them. I guess it was stupid of me to assume that people would respect that, and take the words for what they are and nothing else. Someone will always take offense, and someone will always reach too far into the words that are being said.

I think the point of these secrets is that you can word them anyway you want, because it's something that's yours. And for someone to tell you you're wrong for it, or that it's wrong for you to think that way is unfair. You don't have to tell me again that you have the right to disagree with it, I understand that. I'm not totally unaware of the way that disagreements function.

My main point is, try not to take these things too seriously. You've obviously taken someone's opinion to heart, when you have no reason to. If you realize that you are not heartless or soulless for what you like or don't like, then that should be enough for you. It's really not that serious.

And on that note, perhaps we should just agree to disagree.

I personally don't think that how I responded was reading too far, but you do. I understand your point about secrets belonging to the poster, and I see how you would see that it doesn't matter how anything is worded. I think it does matter how things are worded, and that's what I responded to. On that, I guess we're agreeing to disagree.

I agree that everyone should try not to take anything on fandomsecrets seriously. And I would appreciate it if you extended that courtesy to the comments posted in response to the secrets, which includes my comment - which really, wasn't meant to be taken as an attack on the poster or even anything serious to begin with. My reaction, believe it or not, is nothing serious, but in my opinion you have also blown my response way out of proportion by giving it as much attention as you have. You forced me to defend my position, so I did.

But just as you don't think I should take the poster's opinion to heart, you should not take my opinion on my right to comment on posts to heart. Neither should the poster take my opinion on their wording to heart, and neither should you get all excited trying to protect them, right? Remember - it's just an opinion. As I said very early on in this discussion. I'm not being sarcastic there. I would really be very happy if everybody, including both of us and the poster, stopped taking things too seriously.

[ SECRET POST #673 ]

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