[ SECRET POST #4775 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4775 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 55 secrets from Secret Submission Post #684.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT—you can be attracted to anyone you want; they’re under no obligation to date you, and not wanting to date you because they think you’re ugly, or for any other reason, doesn’t make a guy a bad person.

Are these unattractive men people try to set you up with just ugly or are they also creepy/gross? If you’re insulted by the idea that you might like/date someone who isn’t handsome, just don’t date, I guess? I don’t, but that’s more from trauma and fear of rejection than because I turn up my nose at anyone who’s not an underwear model. I’m not a fan of fat guys, but that’s my issue, because I hate that I’m fat and can’t find it attractive in others. It doesn’t mean they’re presumptuous for wanting to be in a relationship, or that fat=ugly.

I dunno, being offended that people think you might date someone unattractive despite thinking of yourself as ugly is too close to the incel attitude of “hot chicks are evil bitches because they fuck hot guys instead of me.”

Like, I don’t resent men I’ve found attractive for not returning the favor. I save my anger for men and people generally who act like my existing in public while ugly gives them permission to mock and insult me, like the guys and girl who trapped me and kissed me to win money, or the multiple guys who’ve called me a dog and a troll, or the one who called me a gnome (points for variety, I guess?)

“I’m not hot, therefore hot chicks won’t date/fuck me, therefore my life is incomplete, and furthermore, people who expect me to date women who aren’t a perfect 10 are insulting me” is a mindset I’d expect to see in the kind of entitled madman who shoots up a yoga studio/nightclub/etc because girls won’t date him (because they can tell he’s an unstable creep.) Flipping the genders involved doesn’t make it less creepy.

My life isn’t perfect by a long shot and I’ve missed out on a lot because I’m ugly and fat and also mentally fucked up, but I refuse to think of my life as ruined because of that. I wanted a husband and kids, but it didn’t happen and there’s no point in wallowing in misery or blaming anyone for it.

da

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I think the point is, when one set of people are expected to date only within the same set of people, especially when it comes to appearance, you're still falling into the trap of focusing on looks, and that can come off as shallow despite your best intentions/logic.

No matter who you are, you are allowed to have standards. That is not the same as having expectations.

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

[(Anonymous)]

You are assuming a heck of a lot here. I don't feel like shooting up a mall because I can't get the kind of man I may want. And I don't always want conventionally attractive men, say, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, or male models.

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

[(Anonymous)]

OP- All I know is the "friend" who wanted to set me up with men would never show me a photo, he would always never have a photo and I told him the truth: I don't go on blind dates and I need to see a very recent photo. He always said he couldn't get one or didn't have one, so I refused every darn time and will continue to do so, because I know the guys are going to be unattractive or ugly in some manner- because the majority of people don't think I'm attractive.

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

[(Anonymous)]

I won't date ugly men because I'm offended others think I should. I'm not attracted to ugly men, periodt.

Re: Anyone need a vent thread?

[(Anonymous)]

Respectably, do you know of Rossy de Palma, the Spanish actress/choreographer? She has obvious deformities and anomalies and when she started out in the entertainment industry people called her "Rossy la Fea" (ugly Rossy). She has and has had two attractive boyfriends that I know of: Santiago Lajusticia and Koffy. They are normal-looking and quite attractive men! If SHE can get these men I feel I should at least have some sort of a chance at attractive men!