Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2020-03-21 03:55 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2020-03-21 03:55 pm
[ SECRET POST #4824 ]
⌈ Secret Post #4824 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 48 secrets from Secret Submission Post #691.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-03-21 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)And while I 100% accept sex-liking ace people as ace, there definitely is a par of me which feels like, "Man, you have it easy." Personally, I would kill for the kind of roaring libido that would allow me to enjoy sex without any attraction involved. But me and my 2/10 libido are never going to be down for that.
Honestly, given how profoundly minimal ace representation is in the media, I am truly just happy when we get any rep at all, and I'm not someone who wants to look a gift horse in the mouth or be too nitpicky. Like, I'm not looking for reasons to be mad at creators for "doing it wrong." But that doesn't mean that I don't still sometimes wish there was an ace character out there who actually felt really similar to me.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 12:00 am (UTC)(link)And while I 100% accept sex-liking ace people as ace, there definitely is a par of me which feels like, "Man, you have it easy."
In the ace places I go online, people like that seem to be the majority, and while I'm never going to tell them they can't identify as ace if they want, I do find it...frustrating? Like, I wish there weren't all these qualifiers (some asexual people don't want sex and aren't willing to do it, but some will do it anyway to please other people even if they don't like it themselves, and then there are some that actually do like it themselves for various reasons, etc.) I wish there was a word that just meant "is not interested in/does not want to have sex", period. Like someone can say "I'm straight" and there's not any confusion, everyone knows what that means. But if someone says they're asexual, even if the person they're talking to does know what it means, there's still a bunch of questions because there are all these variations. IDK, I just wish it was simpler/more straightforward.
Honestly, given how profoundly minimal ace representation is in the media, I am truly just happy when we get any rep at all, and I'm not someone who wants to look a gift horse in the mouth or be too nitpicky. Like, I'm not looking for reasons to be mad at creators for "doing it wrong." But that doesn't mean that I don't still sometimes wish there was an ace character out there who actually felt really similar to me.
Oh, yeah, I don't mean to complain. I think there's only on asexual character right now (on that cartoon Netflix show that I'm blanking on the name of that I think is getting ready to end), so I'll take whatever ace canon representation I can get. I'm talking about fic where writers take non-canon ace characters and decide to make them ace for the fic, but then put in a bunch of sex, and that's all I seem to see. The way it's done in most fic (at least that I've seen), it just comes off as kind of...festishizing? Almost like they're using asexuality instead of the whole virginity fetish thing? I just wish that sometimes with fics that make characters asexual, they would be the kind of asexual I could relate to. I don't know, maybe I'm not making sense.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 12:37 am (UTC)(link)Oh man, I completely feel you. It's one of the reasons I'm so hesitant to tell people I'm ace. Because they may have a vague idea of what that means, but I'm wary of all the potential assumptions they may make about me, due to the lack of specificity in the term.
Like, on the one hand, if it's a guy who seems like he might be looking for a date, he may assume he still has a shot with me, because maybe the only other ace girl he knew liked sex.
OTOH, a lot of people hear ace and they see the person as some kind of robot-alien crossed with a blankly innocent primary school child. And tbh that really bothers me. Like, no, I have a sex drive. I probably read a lot more kinky smut than you do. I often end up explaining sexual terminology to my non-ace friends. I even understand the appeal of a lot of it...as long as it's not happening to me.
But the only way to cut through all the assumptions is to massively overshare, which nobody appreciates and which I really, really don't want to do. So I end up just...allowing people to continue presuming I'm straight. Which feels, well, kinda shitty.
I think there's only on asexual character right now (on that cartoon Netflix show that I'm blanking on the name of that I think is getting ready to end)
Todd On BoJack Horseman! Yeah. I haven't watched the last two seasons, so maybe they changed stuff with him, but it seemed like he was completely disinterested in sex. Which I appreciated. (I'm aro, myself, so Todd and I differ in that way, but that doesn't diminish how much I appreciate the show for giving us an ace character.)
I'm talking about fic where writers take non-canon ace characters and decide to make them ace for the fic, but then put in a bunch of sex, and that's all I seem to see. The way it's done in most fic (at least that I've seen), it just comes off as kind of...festishizing?
Yeah, I definitely think you're right, there. I don't experience much of this because, ironically, I avoid ace!character fics like the plague. My OTPs literally ARE my sexuality - they're the only outlet I have for my sexuality. So my OTP's having lots of filthy, horny, glorious sex is where it's at for me. The last thing I want is to read about one of them being ace, because that slams the door on my cherished outlet in a really unpleasant way. So I can't really weigh in on how fandom does ace!fic, because I tend to avoid ace!fic. But given how fandom does pretty much everything, I can completely believe it gives ace!characters the fetishy treatment. (And like, I'm not going to get mad, because fandom gives EVERYTHING the fetishy treatment. But all the same, I can see how that would be really uncomfortable if you were reading ace!fics hoping for an accurate depiction.)
no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 02:18 am (UTC)(link)Yep. I'm not really sure what the answer is, though, unfortunately, without creating a whole bunch of different labels for the different variations, which I know bugs people.
Todd On BoJack Horseman! Yeah. I haven't watched the last two seasons, so maybe they changed stuff with him, but it seemed like he was completely disinterested in sex. Which I appreciated. (I'm aro, myself, so Todd and I differ in that way, but that doesn't diminish how much I appreciate the show for giving us an ace character.)
I haven't seen the show but I've heard a lot of good things...probably need to check it out!
Yeah, I definitely think you're right, there. I don't experience much of this because, ironically, I avoid ace!character fics like the plague. My OTPs literally ARE my sexuality - they're the only outlet I have for my sexuality. So my OTP's having lots of filthy, horny, glorious sex is where it's at for me. The last thing I want is to read about one of them being ace, because that slams the door on my cherished outlet in a really unpleasant way. So I can't really weigh in on how fandom does ace!fic, because I tend to avoid ace!fic. But given how fandom does pretty much everything, I can completely believe it gives ace!characters the fetishy treatment. (And like, I'm not going to get mad, because fandom gives EVERYTHING the fetishy treatment. But all the same, I can see how that would be really uncomfortable if you were reading ace!fics hoping for an accurate depiction.)
You're the total opposite of me, but I totally get what you're saying! And yeah, you're definitely right about fandom fetishizing everything, so I'm not really surprised, I just wish that once in awhile there was an ace character in a fic who didn't have sex.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 02:50 am (UTC)(link)It is a really good show. And once they decided Todd was ace, I think they wrote that aspect of him well. But be warned, the writers clearly weren't thinking of him as ace in S1 (and maybe S2?), so there are a couple of things early on in the show that won't fit in with the later characterization of him as ace. It's nothing super huge, though, like him being a player or something. Just one or two minor moments.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 03:37 am (UTC)(link)SA
(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 03:38 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-03-22 04:03 am (UTC)(link)The thing is, I don't expect everyone to learn and memorize all the correct terms for every subgroup of everything. But I do find it pretty shitty how hostile people often are to anyone who dares to use the specific, correct term for a part of their identity. Like, if a person expects others to learn twenty different terms, I have no problem with people just ignoring that person's expectations and not doing it, and instead sticking with the major umbrella terms. But if someone is hostile to people who choose to use the correct terms for themselves, they're being an asshole.