[ SECRET POST #4829 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4829 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[Dorothy Martin]



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02.


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06.


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07.
[Lego Masters, Sam and Jessica]


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08.
[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 08 secrets from Secret Submission Post #691.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I don't *think* they were trying to mock SJWs or whatever, I think Marvel is just run by absolute fucking idiots who honestly thought that naming their first specifically nonbinary character* Snowflake somehow wouldn't go down like the fucking Hindenburg.
Oh, and Snowflake's brother, the bloke there in pink? His superhero name is 'Safespace'. Yeah.


*Yes, who they themselves announced as their first NB hero, this isn't me making shit up

[(Anonymous)]

wait they're named what

I'm sorry but that just immediately reads as "making fun of everyone who thinks human beings should be treated with respect hurr hurr maga frever." Is it supposed to be a serious comic book? Is it not a stupid right wing parody??

[(Anonymous)]

I am not remotely shitting you. This is actual official information.

Yeah.

[(Anonymous)]

What are there super powers? Asking for a friend.

[(Anonymous)]

https://www.marvel.com/articles/comics/introducing-the-new-new-warriors

From left to right we have Screentime, Snowflake, Safespace, B-Negative, and Trailblazer.

Screentime: A Meme-Obsessed super teen whose brain became connected to the internet after becoming exposed to his grandfather’s “experimental internet gas.” Now he can see augmented reality and real-time maps, and can instantly Google any fact. Does this make him effectively a genius? He sure acts like it does.

Snowflake: Snowflake, a cryokinetic, can materialize snowflake-shaped shuriken projectiles for throwing.

Safespace: Safespace can materialize pink forcefields, but he can’t inhabit them himself, the reflex only works if he’s protecting others.

B-Negative: A teen “living vampire” exposed to Michael Morbius’s blood as a child in a rogue, but life-saving medical procedure. He still ages like a regular kid, but has all the abilities of Morbius. He’s also obsessed with all the music and attitude of a “classic” long-past decades like the '90s, and the '00s. “The world is a vampire…and so am I.”

Trailblazer: A regular kid scooped up into the world of teenage Super Heroing. Her “magic backpack” is actually a pocket dimension with seemingly infinite space, from which she can pull out useful or random objects—it’s not always under her control. She claims to get her power from god, but “not the god you’re thinking of.”

So. Basically everything makes it worse. Every new bit of information makes it worse. The only thing that could make it better, at this point, would be the cancellation of the title and Marvel admitting what a fucking mess the whole thing was.

[(Anonymous)]

Supposedly, "Snowflake" named themselves because in-canon people would bully them by calling them a special snowflake, so they took the name to, idk, reclaim it or some shit.

It's extremely cringe, good intention or not.