[ SECRET POST #4930 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4930 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 40 secrets from Secret Submission Post #706.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

As long as one has money and finds a good therapist. I haven't managed to do so, the ones I saw only made me cry and asked difficult questions.

[(Anonymous)]

... asking difficult questions is literally a therapist's job, anon. They can't help you unless they have a full understanding of the things that brought you to them in the first place.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like there's a productive medium where difficult issues can be addressed and positive steps taken, and the person doesn't leave every session feeling like they've been put through an emotional blender.

The first type of therapy I tried made my mental state worse. Sometimes fixating on past trauma is unhelpful when people just want to improve their current situation and learn healthy management skills.

A lot of therapists are uncomfortably interested in unearthing things without much regard for the work people have done to move on from them already. Super common to hear similar experiences from other PTSD sufferers.

[philstar22]

This is very true. The good therapists I had wouldn't start out right away working on the difficult stuff. And when we did work on the really difficult stuff, when I clearly had a traumatic session, they would spend the last part of the session on healing/de-traumatizing stuff to pull me back out of it at least a little bit. A good therapist won't leave you raw at the end of a session.

[(Anonymous)]

-ayrt
I wish I could find a therapist that will tell me "you don't have to answer it if you don't want to". I've seen three so far. I didn't want to answer some of their questions but it was difficult to say so. It was like I had to disclose every little detail about my life that they asked about.

[(Anonymous)]

Therapists aren't supposed to just comfort you and tell you what you want to hear, though... the whole point is to get into and through the trauma, so that you can process it safely and be able to move on with your life without it harming you and your relationships going forward. :/

[(Anonymous)]

I don't have any trauma that I know of. I just don't want to talk about all the ways I suck.
One of the therapists asked me what an asexual means. I was embarassed to talk about this, and later angry. WTF you charge me $150 an hour, why should I educate you.
ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

Um... your therapist wasn't asking that because they wanted you to educate them, they were asking that because they wanted you to explain what it means to you so that they would have a frame of reference for the rest of the conversation about that topic.

[(Anonymous)]

Could be either way. Asexual is a new term in my neck of the woods.

[(Anonymous)]

Have to agree with the other anon. I'm sorry it sounded like an upsetting experience for you, but asking difficult questions is frequently appropriate in therapy. It's not supposed to be an easy process that never offers you any challenges. Presumably you're in therapy because you have some issues that need unpacking or you need to figure out how to manage something in your life. That's going to be tough, even with a good therapist.

I say this because... well, don't be like my aunt, who's estranged from all her children and "can't figure out why" even though she's been told that it's due to a negligent childhood where she noped out on being a parent and just wanted a couple of tiny BFFs/emotional support kids and then got sulky and childish when it turned out she'd birthed two human beings with their own minds and personalities. She's been in therapy off and on for 30+ years and changes therapists every few years because "they're not helping her".

Hint: It's because every time she's asked to acknowledge her own role and responsibility in how her life turned out, she feels bad, goes straight to Denial Town and then quits therapy because her therapist is "mean" and "doesn't understand her", i.e. asks difficult questions.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for sharing. This thread made me think about some things.

All in all I think that therapy is not a good fit for me because it is unpleasant and I have an avoidant personality.

I've tried it just before the pandemic so definitely not hopping like your aunt. Kudos to her for trying tho. All the terrible parents that I know of, and there are a few, don't acknowledge that they need any help from 'shrinks'. And 30+ years - that's persistance for you. I feel discouraged after only half a year.