Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2008-12-10 05:04 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2008-12-10 05:04 pm
[ SECRET POST #705 ]
⌈ Secret Post #705 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
101.
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102.
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103.
[Elf]
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104.
[Naria: Caspian/Susan]
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105.
[Hellsing]
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106.
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107.
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108.
[Snoop Dogg, Sensual Seduction music video]
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109.
[Weiss Kreuz]
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110.
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111.
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112.
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113.
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114.
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115.
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116.
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117.
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118.
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119.
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120.
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121.
[NCIS]
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122.
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123.
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124.
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125.
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126.
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127.
[Eternal Sonata]
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128.
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129.
[Fullmetal Alchemist]
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130.
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131.
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132.
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133.
[Spirited Away]
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134.
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135.
[Prince of Persia]
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136.
[Eureka]
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137.
[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia]
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138.
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139.
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140.
[Harry Potter]
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141.
[Special A]
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142.
[Labyrinth]
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143.
[Making Fiends]
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144.
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145.
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146.
[Bust a Groove]
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147.
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148.
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149.
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150.
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151.
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152.
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153.
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154.
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155.
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156.
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157.
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158.
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159.
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160.
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161.
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162.
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163.
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164.
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165.
[Hetalia]
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166.
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167.
[Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann - Gurren Gakuenhen]
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168.
[MSNBC, Morning Joe: Joe Scarborough/Mika Brzezinski]
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169.
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170.
Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 165 secrets from Secret Submission Post #101.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - doing it wrong ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
115
I've been there. I was tidying up everything in my life so it'd be less of a hassle for my family to clean up after me, I just hadn't decided on the how yet. I was there. But then I realized I hadn't left much of a legacy, nothing to really remember me by, so I decided to finish the book I'd been trying to write. THAT was my reason to keep on going: finish the book, then I can give up.
About a decade later, the book is only a distant memory (thankfully never finished, it was utter crap). I have since been through so many fandoms I've probably forgotten some. I've made friends, I'm engaged to the love of my life, and yeah the bad days sometimes still suck so much I want to just curl up and cry until I pass out...but the good days make it worth getting through them. It will get better, but it can't if you're dead.
Say to yourself "I can't die until I [insert goal]." And set your goals higher. Something like "I can't die until I've seen Stonehenge in person." or "I can't die until I've learned to speak Russian fluently." or whatever. You take those goals and you brand them on the front of your brain and you fucking SURVIVE. And whenever you think "What's the point? Why bother? What right do I have to even keep taking up space?" you look at your goal and you tell yourself to hold on just a little bit longer, because you haven't reached it yet. It may not be much, but by god it WILL give your life some meaning. It will give you something to cling to in the dark days until you can find something to really make your life worth living.
And you will find something. I promise you that. It may take years, but you will find it. And you will look back on now and it will scare the hell out of you how close you came to ending things before you found it. Just hang in there.
If you need someone to talk to, you can reach me at reellifer (at) yahoo (dot) com. I keep irregular hours, but I will get back to you as soon as I'm able.