[ SECRET POST #5005 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5005 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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12. [WARNING for discussion of rape, suicide]































Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #716.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[meadowphoenix]

You said: ...and no we all don't defend friends, lmao
which sounds very much like 'my friend is guilty' as an assumption.
literally how? how did you get there? that makes no logical sense to me. a defense is the application of character to circumstances. the absence can be any number of reasons, including that you can't apply the character to the circumstances, but also that you don't know the circumstances. why assume one thing? that seems uncharitable.

"wow, that doesn't sound like them at all, are you sure you've got that straight? that sounds very wrong'"
Mine would be something like "where did you hear this?/"where are you getting this from" that's not a defense, and none of my friends would begrudge me this reaction. for what it's worth "this doesn't sound like them" isn't a defense to me. "they didn't/would never do this" is a defense. maybe we view "defense" differently, but when people say defense in a rape case, they mean "he didn't do it"

Because to admit that we misjudged someone so poorly is a hard thing to get our heads around.
yeah not for me. i don't know the whole of anyone. friendship is the joy learning someone deeply, but it's never going to get to the assumption that I know them completely. because I never will.

[tabaqui]

I got there by your words, because 'we don't defend' sounds a lot like....you don't defend them.

To me, that *is* a defense, because you're automatically assuming there is something wrong in the story, there is more to the story, there is something else there and that the person telling you doesn't have all the facts and there must be something else.

Of course no one knows the 'whole' of anyone, but you do assume you know that a person is a good person or not, especially if you're allowing them into your life, exchanging information, finding out intimate (not necessarily sexual) details.

Glad you're so high-minded, but most people feel hurt by discovering that someone they considered a friend could perpetrate a horrible, or violent act. Not knowing the 'whole' of someone doesn't, to me, mean that you assume they could also be a rapist or murderer, but until they show that side, oh well.

And frankly, i think we're going in circles here and have made all our points. I have things to do and won't be at my computer for a while, so I'm going to end my participation in this discussion. Enjoy your day (or evening, whichever).

[meadowphoenix]

I mean that's ridiculous to assume only defense is a reaction to even thinking innocence is likely.

....that's not a defense. that's a lack of primary sources? if I thought someone 100% did something, or that something was incredibly in character, I would still ask for facts because I'm (mostly) not the type of person who makes judgments on nothing (and you know...I don't take the things people report to me from other sources as trustworthy) like?????? idk you seem so wildly black and white about how to react that it's surprising, because there are other things you said on here that are quite morally relative.

I assume everyone can do anything, but someone people are at 1% for "horrible thing" and some people are at 90%. I'd still ask for more info lol.