fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #721 ]

⌈ Secret Post #721 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

101.

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102.

[Hiroshi Tamaki;Gackt;Tadayoshi Okura]

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103.

[Rumor Has It/Simon and Garfunkel]

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104.

[Chip 'n Dale]

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105.

[Sarah McLachlan, "World on Fire"]

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106.

[Phoenix Wright Justice for All]

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107.

[17 Kids and Counting; Jon and Kate plus 8]

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108.

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109.

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110.

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111.

[Persona 4]

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112.

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113.

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114.

[Smallville]

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115.

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116.

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117.

[Tiny Toons]

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118.

[Alicia Sacramone]

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119.

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120.

[House]

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121.

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122.

[Dungeons and Dragons; Mage the Ascension]

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123.

[Merlin]

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124.

[Noel & Michael Fielding; The Mighty Boosh]

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125.

[Watchmen, The Day The Earth Stood Still]

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126.

[Shawn Spencer from Psych]

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127.

[Merlin, Torchwood]

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128.

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129.

[House]

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130.

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131.

[Victoria Beckham/Posh Spice]

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132.

[Temeraire Series]

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133.

[Ace Attorney]

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134.

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135.

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136.

[Captain America/Iron man]

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137.

[Fullmetal Alchemist (Winry), Serenity (Kaylee), Final Fantasy X (Rikku), Atlantis (Audrey)]

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138.

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139.

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140.

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141.

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142.

[It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia]

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143.

[Digimon Tamers, Juri Kato]

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144.

[Torchwood, Dr. Horrible, Metal Gear Solid]

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145.

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146.

[Onani Master Kurosawa]

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147.

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148.

[Supernatural]

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149.

[Gossip Girl]

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150.

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151.

[Ferris Bueller's Day Off]

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152.

[Death Note: the Last Name]

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153.

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154.

[Gundam00]

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155.

[Robin Hood: Guy/Sheriff]

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156.

[bexless's MCR Priestverse (I Have Been All Things Unholy and Staring Through the Demons)]

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157.

[Digimon original series]

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158.

[In the Gloaming/Robert Sean Leonard]

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159.

[Candy Boy ONA]

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160.

[Soul Eater]

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161.

[Gurren Lagann]

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162.

[Sherlock Holmes/"Sherlock"]

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163.

[Supernatural]

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164.

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165.

[Genevieve Cortese, Wildfire, Supernatural]

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166.

[Mai HiME, Okuzaki Akira]

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167.

[Sweeny Todd movie]

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168.

[Sean Astin/Elijah Wood]

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169.

[Silent Hill: Homecoming]

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170.

[Trigun, Wolfwood]

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171.

[Moulin Rouge/Sound of Music]

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172.

[Avatar the Last Airbender, Fullmetal Alchemist, Bleach, Naruto]

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173.

[Mock the Week; Frankie Boyle]

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174.

[Whose Line Is It Anyway?, QI]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #103.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

But I think if you sit there and decide "Well, hm, it might be hard to bond with an adopted child!", if you don't think you could handle the emotional responsibility of that, you should not have a kid. Because it's just as likely that you'll end up with a biological child with a terrible debilitating disease, or a mental illness that makes them completely disconnected from you, or psychotic, or any number of emotionally difficult things.

I don't condemn people for it, but I do think there's a huge problem with the attitude toward adoption, at least in America.

That is true. But it's different, psychologically, when it's your own child. There's a bond there that, like I said, definitely can be created, but it's not quite as automatic. It's a difficult thing to put into words because it's just not tangible; it's not so much emotional responsibility as it is just... a bond. It's what makes people want to have their own children in the first place. Adopting is perfectly respectable and it's fine to encourage it, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to have your own child instead.

...Well, where I live, adoption is very well respected and people who adopt a child are generally well-regarded. But maybe it's different here.

I think a lot of people with adopted children would be highly offended by what you're saying. I can't say for sure, of course– I don't have a biological child or an adopted child. But I do know that I have never felt that kind of automatic bond with my biological mother. So no, I guess I don't believe the bond is automatic and easier. I can understand the FEAR that it would be "harder" to have an adopted kid. But I think that fear is largely ungrounded, and that anyone who's afraid of the emotional hardships of adoption isn't ready for the emotional hardships of parenting, period.

Adoption is RESPECTED everywhere, I'm sure. No one is going to outwardly call someone who adopts a freak or anything. But... I feel like there is this underlying aversion to it.

I am not at ALL implying that parents do not form bonds with their adopted children; I'm speaking as a member of a family where many of my cousins were adopted. Of course they do, and their familial bonds can be just as strong. I'm merely saying that the connection is formed after they meet the child and not as soon as the child is born, so it's a bit different. Not any less strong or important, but different.

*shrug* I don't feel that, but that's me.

I don't see why it's even slightly important that the connection is not right after birth. I mean, you're saying that too– that it's not less strong or less important– so what is the point of mentioning it? Having that connection later in their lives is much better than never having it at all.

Become a lot of parents want to have the specific type of bond that occurs through conceiving and birthing a child. And I think they should have that choice, particularly since it's a perfectly natural instinctive urge.

Yeah, it's natural. Which is why I think most people don't even stop to consider adoption. Which sucks. Orphans get the shaft because most people instinctively want a kid who shares their ~*special*~ DNA.

Or they want that specific type of bond... but yeah. Personally, if I have children, I think it would lovely to adopt a child and have one the natural way - best of both worlds, sort of. But I'm not even sure if I'm going to have children yet, so. *shrug*

[ SECRET POST #721 ]

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169

Re: 107, 108, 135, 158, 169