fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #722 ]

⌈ Secret Post #722 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

101.

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102.

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103.

[Death Note/The Dark Knight]

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104.

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105.

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106.

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107.

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108.

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109.

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110.

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111.

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112.

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113.

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114.

[Axis Powers Hetalia]

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115.

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116.

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117.

[Lucky Star OVA]

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118.

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119.

[Supernatural]

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120.

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121.

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122.

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123.

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124.

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125.

[The Monkees]

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126.

[Dr Who]

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127.

[Jason Mraz]

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128.

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129.

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130.

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131.

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132.

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133.

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134.

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135.

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136.

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137.

[South Park]

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138.

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139.

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140.

[Final Fantasy VI]

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141.

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142.

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143.

[SpongeBob SquarePants/Homestar Runner - Squilliam/Strong Bad]

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144.

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145.

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146.

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147.

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148.

[Benny and Joon]

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149.

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150.

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151.

[Starcraft]

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152.

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153.

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154. [repeat]

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155. [repeat]

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156.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 16 pages, 382 secrets from Secret Submission Post #103.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...y'know, I'm tempted to write this.

For the lulz, of course. I'm not turned on by supermarkets.

Not yet.

Or... I might just go to bed XD Eh, we'll see what happens in the morning! :D

Dammit, i'm contractually obliged now, arent i? =/

I think you should. The lulz would be EPIC.

You'd never be able to look at a supemarket ever again!

Has the morning changed your mind? Beacuse that would be a shame.

Yes, yes you are. MUHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ;D

Tesco had spent months staring at M&S from the other side of the street. He had watched jealously as all sorts of men entered her, men who were better than he was, walking out with their suits as crisp and sharp as they had been on entry, but the knowing smug smile on their faces as though they knew something the rest of the world doesn't.

And yet, knowing all these men used M&S like this didn't put him off.... if anything... it made him want her more. He knew she wasn't as high and mighty as her repuation would have them believe, and... it turned him on. Yes, it did.

One day, he would lose his Tesco Clubcard down her fish aisle. It was a mission.

***

M&S hadn't been expecting Tesco's advance. Not only had he come onto her, he had also expanded on an international level, and she couldn't resist him any longer. The other high street stores usually kept an eye on him, but now they had gone... she looked at where Woolworths used to live with a sad eye, and knew she was on her own.

But she hadn't expected to enjoy it this much. She had put on some sultry music and arched back and forth.

This wasn't just a one night stand. This was the finest, hand-crafted one night stand, smothered generously with matured French wine.

They also weren't just using lubricant. They were using organic, botanically-infused personal lubricant, with an infusion of the finest, hand-picked peppermint.

And it wasn't just a condom. It was a individually-wrapped latex condom, bathed lovingly in expertly-crafted spermacide.

...Or was it?

M&S had remembered that Tesco brought along his own condoms, but it was too late, as at that moment, they climaxed together (although she didn't orgasm, she engaged in a loving, organic orgasm, coupled with the finest freerange seratonin).

Tesco, however, had realised ten minutes ago that his Tesco Value condom had split.He hadn't said anything, as it had come in a 3-for-2 offer, and Tesco Value condoms tended to ladder easier than the Tesco Value tights (although he didn't wear these often).

But they didn't care; they lay down together in one another's company.

"That wasn't just supermarket porn. That was M&S supermarket porn," she said.

"Every little helps," he replied, and they lay together in the mess they had caused, and waited until morning for the shelf-stackers to come.

Boy, those kids were in for a treat.

You WIN at life!!! Hahaha! This has made my day!

Tesco Value tights (although he didn't wear these often).

Has to be my favorite line ever!

Thank you so very very much for this! ;D

I think you have made my life complete! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

OMG THIS.

Dude.

I am so so so glad I made that secret now :D

OMG BEST EVER. YOU HAVE MADE MY LIFE.

as someone who works at TESCO, this made me lol SO HARD.

One day, he would lose his Tesco Clubcard down her fish aisle. It was a mission.

I... oh god, Rob. I will cherish this post.

Rob. I... I don't know whether to propose marriage or pretend I never knew you.

You. GENIUS.

I...the...wha...okay, I have no words for how awesome that was. And how much it made me giggle. Thanks, Rob. *is now a lot more cheerful than she was*

WHAT THE FUCK, ROB. XDD You're a genius in the worst possible way.

OMGOMGOMG KINDA LATE HERE BUT PLEASE MARRY ME.

[ SECRET POST #722 ]

Re: 133 not OP

Re: 133 not OP

Re: 133 (Please Kill Me)

Re: 133 I LOVE YOU!!

no subject

133 OP (de-anoning because WHOA)

Re: 133 (Please Kill Me)

Re: 133 (Please Kill Me)

Re: 133 (My EYES)

Re: 133 (Please Kill Me)

Re: 133 (Please Kill Me)

Re: 133 (Please Kill Me)