Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2020-11-17 05:59 pm
[ SECRET POST #5065 ]
⌈ Secret Post #5065 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 35 secrets from Secret Submission Post #725.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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(Anonymous) 2020-11-17 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-11-17 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)As someone who went to grad school and did grad student research it's just ew ew ew ew ew ew. And yes, I know it would still be gross to people outside of my experience but it was even more of an ethically gross thing to me.
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(Anonymous) 2020-11-18 10:08 am (UTC)(link)no subject
But overall, don't feel anything bad about having to do what's best for you. In a relationship you don't have to take part in absolutely everything the other person does. This is no exception. I hope that someday you might be able to talk to your partner about it but you don't have to either. You've probably already anticipated some "talk to them" advice but idk, in my mind it's completely up to you what you want to share.
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(Anonymous) 2020-11-17 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-11-18 12:20 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-11-18 01:15 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-11-18 01:17 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-11-18 01:24 am (UTC)(link)(I had been fortunate enough to recover before it got too out of hand, but there are moments like fat jokes or gags about ED that had thrown me off guard and put me in a weird head space for the rest of the day while pretending nothing had affected me around friends I was watching stuff with).
Keeping yourself safe first by knowing what to avoid is a good idea Anon x
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(Anonymous) 2020-11-18 01:45 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-11-18 04:17 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-11-18 04:00 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-11-19 03:06 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2020-11-19 09:39 am (UTC)(link)No.
Fuck no.
That's not how conversation works.
What you're mentioning OP to do is just a bunch of passive aggressive bullshit that's only going to cause argument, conflict, and frustration, in their relationship.
Clearly OP was willing to watch the show until it triggered them.
Tossing down something like that of the blue- as if OP's SO should have somehow /known/ about everything OP was struggling with without a single word spoken, (before OP was triggered, and likely before their SO felt it was right to breach the subject)- effectively blaming their SO for not reading OP's mind. Encouraging OP to make snide remarks, disregard their SO's happiness they get from the time the shared watching their shows together, that, all of a sudden the show they enjoyed for so long is no longer valid because 'they should have known OP didn't like it as much as they did, and now no one gets to be happy!'
Be as self centred as you want, but don't think that it can pass as actual relationship advice.
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(Anonymous) 2020-11-19 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)I said it was a gross joke and asked if they could turn it off, and they were like "I think you're being a little too sensitive." I pointed out the joke was not just "ha ha, Raj got drunk and slept with a fat girl", the "twist" of the joke was that his response to waking up to find this out was that, instead of freaking out about the horror of sleeping with a fat girl, he was excited. Like straight-out "omg, he's so happy he got laid he doesn't care it was with a fat girl! What a loser!", with a girl that was my size. And then I asked what about WASN'T supposed to be offensive to me? Because yeah, they all laughed at the joke.
It got real awkward real fast. It's super gross, happens all the time, and I hate it.
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(Anonymous) 2020-12-03 06:15 am (UTC)(link)