[ SECRET POST #5092 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5092 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 19 secrets from Secret Submission Post #729.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I have a question that's been niggling at me recently... just how many posters here are former victims of school bullies? Because given many of the secrets I've (two on this post!) and especially the comments on them, well, it would explain a lot.

[(Anonymous)]

Bullying is a widespread problem. And the US handles it really badly. I think it's been only in the last decade, decade and a half American schools even wanted to admit there is a problem. And unlike France, we don't have a nationwide anti-bullying measure in schools. (They instituted theirs in the early to late 2000s, I think.)

We need Mr. Rogers even more than ever. RIP Mr. Rogers.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's because of how we portray bullies. Bullies are always OTHER people. And you, person reading this billboard or watching this movie or whatever, are meant to empathize with the victim. You're the victim.

Which means no one ever, and I mean EVER thinks they're the bully! In my experience, most kids are both bully AND bullied depending on the different social circles they're in or the situation. Most kids have shitty moments. It's normal. Kids are inherently selfish, and they're learn how to interact with others by watching. Which means a lot of times they're not working with full context and their empathy machine isn't fully turned on quite yet.

So we need to reframe the conversation around behaviors and how to do better. Not "LOOK AT TIMMY, ISN'T HE A LITTLE ASSHOLE?!"

Weirdly we have the same issue with how we portray racism. Literally no one ever thinks they could be the bad guy because of how the conversation is framed. It's some horseshit.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm more interested to see how many posters were bullies themselves. Everyone I know was bullied at least once in high school, if not all throughout; teenagers can be really horrible but admittedly adults can be too so it's more of a 'human' thing than anything to do with age.

[(Anonymous)]

Most people were both at some point. Most also just don't realize they were ever the bullies as well as the victims.

[(Anonymous)]

A lot of people have been both bullies and victims of bullying at some point in their life. They may not even realize that they were bullies.

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, a girl bullied me once in sixth grade and then I punched her and she stopped so...

I don't think I ever got bullied in HS? I feel like I'd remember.

[feotakahari]

In second grade, I left school and went straight into therapy because of bullying. If a door opened and I wasn’t expecting it, I would run out of the room in fear.

[(Anonymous)]

Some girls bullied me in middle school during lunch and PE. They mostly just said bitchy things about me and made moo-ing noises behind my back, but then one of them tried to steal the necklace that my mom had given me for my birthday, so I slapped her and we got in a fight. We both got suspended, but they never bothered me again.

[(Anonymous)]

I was bullied a lot in school but I'm still not sensitive to it at a thematic element.

[greghousesgf]

my school experience was very close to Carrie and Welcome to the Dollhouse except my mother's not crazy and abusive, my sister didn't get kidnapped and obviously I can't blow shit up with my mind.

[(Anonymous)]

I was bullied all the way up through high school, but I don't have revenge fantasies about, or resent being unable to get revenge on, my bullies. For one thing, I had so many I doubt I could pick them out of a lineup.

It definitely fucked me up, but I think the culture surrounding bullying was more to blame than any specific kid. The sexually harassing/assaulting stuff on the other hand, I will probably never be over, and I wish people didn't conflate bullying and sexual harassment/assault so often.

I ended up bullying another woman at my workplace as an adult and still feel shitty about it, especially as I was going along with it because I was just glad not to be the victim (and fairly sure no one else, even the victim, realized a bunch of adults were bullying another one like school kids.) Our target was old enough to be my mother so it took my autistic ass awhile to realize why our (including our boss!) behavior was making me uneasy.

[(Anonymous)]

That kind of workplace bullying reminds me of how the cast treated Jerry, which I always hated but I guess it's pretty realistic.

[(Anonymous)]

At least two kids bullied me in middle school, but I was kind of an oblivious child (we were learning about sexual harassment at the same time that one bully was basically using it as a manual of what to do to me and I still didn't recognize what was going on until a year later). They soon gave up and I don't have any residual trauma from it.

[(Anonymous)]

I was similar, anon. I was bullied a lot but it just kind of slid off because I either didn't notice, or I just knew they were morons.

[(Anonymous)]

I assume everyone in fandom was bullied at least a little.

[(Anonymous)]

I was bullied significantly at home and in my school life and it's significantly affected me to the point where I am in my 30s and I still suffer from PTSD and crippling depression.

[philstar22]

I was, by both peers and teachers, to the point that I have PTSD from it as well as depression and anxiety disorders that I'm still dealing with years later.

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, nerds getting bullied by jocks and popular kids is the classic representation of school bullying. I would presume everyone here is at least part nerd, despite fandom being less hardcore nerdy than it used to be. I was rarely bullied at school because a) I was pretty oblivious to other people and b) my school had a super effective anti-bullying program for my first four years of high school, and in the last two years (when we had a new principal who didn't believe bullying was a problem so got rid of the program) people were less dickish.

[(Anonymous)]

Nerds vs jocks isn't a thing in my country. With the emphasis on academic success in this culture, I'd even say being a nerd has always benefited me socially.

[(Anonymous)]

I was never popular, but there was mainly only one year (seventh grade) where I was bullied enough to really call it bullying, as opposed to chalking it up to "kids are often mean to each other." From first till ninth grade I maybe had a bit more negative interaction with my peers than was standard (like it was quite clear to me I wasn't very popular and I wasn't considered pretty), but only seventh grade was particularly bad.

It doesn't bother me now, though. I'm more bothered by the ways I was occasionally mean to other kids without realizing I was being mean.

[epicurean]

I was bullied with a side plate of sexual harrasement throughout middle school and it didn't stop til I was changed of schools. Ended up with low grades, low self esteem, PTSD and a short fuse when it comes to bullies.

I did go to therapy because my parents got worried about me not talking about it but there is just so much they can do when it comes to stuff like this.

The sad thing about bullying is the fact that your bullies will forget about you, but you will always remember them for all the wrong reasons.