fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5106 ]

[ SECRET POST #5106 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5106 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 27 secrets from Secret Submission Post #731.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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I need to rant, and figured others might.

I have been bending over backwards to do everything I can to help my parents. And I agreed to help walk my sister's dog while she and my brother-in-law are on their hiking trip because my dad has a bad back and no balance.

However, my dad's bad memory has led him to decide I'm just doing the bare minimum rather than bending over backwards. We've been doing the walks about every 2 hours. We walked her between 3 and 3:30. Then I laid down for a nap. He woke me at 5:30 to walk her again.

He came storming into my room, yelling at me that we needed to walk her again, insisting that we hadn't walked her since 3:30. He just can't remember that 5:30 walk and is absolutely insisting it didn't happen. Of course, my mom won't back me up because she'll side with him even when he's wrong.

Of course I'll still walk the dog with him because the dog shouldn't be punished for him being an asshole. But I'm done with him other than dealing with the dog for a while.

At least my mom has expressed gratitude at other things I've done to help. My dad never does.

That's more than a bad memory. It's time for a medical evaluation, ASAP.

My mom and I have talked about that he needs to get evaluated for his memory issues and also his hearing loss and his back issues. She's going to try to talk him into doing it at the end of January, once my sister and brother-in-law have returned home and everything has settled back down. My dad is stubborn and doesn't like doctors, but he really does need to see someone.

Record yourself on your phone, heading out with the dog. Say "I'm going out now to walk the dog at 3pm..."

That would get my goat, too.

Specifically for this situation you could maybe take cute pictures with the dog when you walk it? That way you have nice doggy pictures (if that's something you like) and if he ever forgets again you can literally show him the evidence (and you have evidence in case he doesn't realise how severe the memory issues are).

...That's not a bad memory. That's actual gaslighting. (The 'g' word has become a bit of a buzzword online recently, but this is a genuine example). He remembers you walked the dog. He just wants a reason to paint you as lazy and difficult. He's annoyed and he wants to take it out on you, so he has to fabricate some misdemeanour. It doesn't even matter that it's blatantly false. He knows he'll get away with it, because he clearly always has.

I've been around here for years and every single thing you post about your parents makes me wish you'd just get out of there already. I had a friend whose parents were very similar to yours. To compound everything, they had health problems and he was their main carer; they'd convinced him they would die if he ever moved out. Threatened him with it. (He never realised their protestations were threats, but they were).

He finally managed to move into his own place last year, at 38 years old. His parents were furious, but they certainly haven't died and neither has he. He's never been healthier and happier. He might even be able to have a partner now, something else they always discouraged because it would take his attention away from them.

I sincerely hope you someday manage to do the same. I wish you all the best. I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve by writing this - probably nothing - but every post you make about your parents is like watching a slow death. I hope you get out and find peace.

Chondromalacia fucking hurts and I hate that there's no cure.

A lot of people spot Mickey Mouse logos everywhere in a kind of capitalistic Rorschach test; I spot Suezo. Any singular-eyeball-esque imagery that shows up? My friends, that is a Suezo, even if it is in fact not. Maaaan, I really wish there was a new Monster Rancher game on PS4 because I am seriously in the mood for that.

I'm really enjoying writing stuff that *I* want to see for my OTP even if no one else except one of my friends is reading it and leaving feedback. It's a rarepair in a dead fandom so that's about what I expected and I've been having a great time by myself in my sandbox, you could say.

...Just I can't help but feel a little ... jealous? Frustrated? Depressed? I'm not even sure what it is... to see a new fic show up for fic exchanges in the fandom (and it's good, yay! I am always in favor of good fic in my dead fandom) and immediately get more recognition than the stuff I've been writing has gotten in the months it's been up.

I mean I get that such a fic probably gets more traffic when it's on a big multifandom exchange list and it's possible no one goes to the AO3 fandom page directly anymore since it's basically dead. And I'm still having fun writing, and rereading my own stuff. But I miss feedback or even just a couple random kudos here and there.

And now I have another fic to post but I've already kind of felt bad about dominating the page, and I don't want to look like I'm trying to take attention away from a new fic by someone who's NOT me (cause despite the above, I really am glad to see more fic!)... I just forgot about Yuletide until I went to maybe start posting more fic, and saw one that wasn't by me.

Aww nonny I hope you go ahead and post your fic anyway! There is always an opportunity that your fics will be found by someone who will truly appreciate the stories you post. And I get the way you feel. I have similar feelings about a rare crack pair in a big fandom I've gotten a lot of inspiration for. It's frustrating to see my fic get little recognition and I can't help but compare my readership count/kudos to other fics even though in reality my real joy comes from writing and rereading the stories I want to write and to read. Keep writing and you have an awesome friend!

co-signed to every word of this. My sympathies, anon.

I guess I'm getting a bit salty about people are looking forward to the new year. Like... symbolically speaking, I get it. But very little is going to change and I'd like to look forward to 2021 like it's a breath of fresh air, but... my day to day life isn't going to change significant. It'll be the same old shit, different year.

Trying not to rain on peoples' parades, but damn...

My brother-in-law has covid and while I'm used to family being ill and not being able to help with that, normally I can at least visit or send care packages. He's twelve thousand kilometres away. All I can do is fret.

Aw, yeah, I know that feeling. It's frustrating, indeed.

May he recover well and soon.

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[ SECRET POST #5106 ]

Rant thread

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2020 coming to an end and so what?

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