[ SECRET POST #5125 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5125 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 31 secrets from Secret Submission Post #734.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Erm... How is it?
As a cis female who is mostly homoromantic I don't feel comfortable WRITING m/m even though I pretty much only read m/m. Because I can't relate at all. I feel like I'm invading someone else's space. I do that for fanfiction occasionally, because the characters' subjectivities are predetermined to an extent, but originals? I just feel like I'm forcing it terribly, my own cis female subjectivity onto those poor characters. Some people are okay doing it but, for me, nah. I really don't get what's homophobic about going "I am a cis female and I don't feel comfortable writing m/m" like, at all.

SA

[(Anonymous)]

I would like to add that I'm asexual so "writing what gets you hot IRL" is like, a moot point, for me. Then I wouldn't write smut at all...? But I occasionally try my hand at it anyway because it "sells".

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, at that point, how do you feel comfortable writing, say, a cishet man=? Maybe you date them but it's not like your cis female subjectivity can substitute for their experience either. Only reading m/m but can't relating to m/m is some weird cognitive dissonance, too. There's definitely mental gymnastics here. It's a human relationship. What's there not to relate?

At the end of the day, characters aren't real people and can't be hurt by what our imaginations do to them. And you don't have to write m/m if you don't feel that way, here we're specifically talking about genderbending to make a character more relatable. And I don't get that. At all. If I couldn't relate to the character in their original offering, I wouldn't want to write about them in the first place.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT
Because I am friends/acquainted/familiar with cismen enough to know how they act, behave, etc...? Just not, like, romantically or sexually. I just don't have much of that experience.
I do feel very weird by writing M/M unless I feel strongly about the original characters. It's no mental gymnastics goddamnit, that's what I've been trying to say all the time ITT - different people's brains work in different ways. For some people gender is so important they can't fathom someone likes a ship but would like to change the genders of the characters involved because that'd be an essential part of the ship. For others, like me, it just doesn't work like this. It's NOT. I DO NOT care for gender roles - honestly. I guess I am one of those dreaded radicals. I think we'd be better off without gender roles or expectations. At all.
But at the same time, I know what I am and a man I am not. I can't claim to know or have felt in my skin what being a man feels like, because I have not. And I surely can't say what it's like to be a man in love because, again, nope. At the end of the day I acknowledge the world isn't the genderless utopia I'd like it to be and my subjective experiences are still different from a man's.
The way you put it it's like you'll only enjoy a character if you relate to them enough to be able to write them, which, again, is your way of thinking. It doesn't work like that for everyone either.

And yeah, pretty hypocritical to say "characters aren't real people and can't be hurt!" when this whole wank is about people getting hurt or offended by someone's take in characters. Lol.

[(Anonymous)]

Anyway, just to add. In the same way I don't feel very comfortable writing, say, trans characters because I don't have that experience either. Or writing, IDK, Italian characters because I'm not Italian either. If I do that I'll at least do my research, talk to Italians and try to figure out and all that, because I don't want to write something that is more fetichistic than comfortable or relatable for those groups of people. And some writers are like this. I hope this made sense.

[(Anonymous)]

"And some writers are like this."

Then they're shitty writers if they can't write any characters that aren't exactly like them.

Seriously, gay/trans/Italian/whatever people aren't some other species. They're people who have the same sorts of feelings that you do, and the fact that you think that even trying to write a character who isn't like you would be "fetishistic" says a whole lot about you and how you view other people.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

And I think shitty writers are the ones who write about other people's experiences from their own outsider Point of View and don't bother to do their research properly, because I am Other in many situations and I've seen it happen and felt offended far too many times to count.

Go figure.

[(Anonymous)]

tl;dr, so what you're saying is, you don't know any gay people.

I mean, just write us like you would anyone else. I promise we don't act, behave, ect. all that differently from a cishet in our daily lives.

Can't believe it's 2021 and I still have to read this Other The Gays discourse in a supposedly woke space.

[(Anonymous)]

No, I am not particularly close friends with any gay men to the point of having an insider view into their intimate relationships, no.
Then again, I'm not particularly close with a lot of people if this calms you down. I am a mostly homoromantic female which may be why I feel more comfortable writing f/f too, even if I haven't actually experienced a relationship.
Way to distort my comment to suit your narrative anyway.