fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5139 ]

[ SECRET POST #5139 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5139 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Pixar SparkShorts "Out"]

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03.

[Sanders Sides]

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04.

[Fire Force]

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05.

[Undertale and Deltarune]

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06.

[Geoff and Reilly from Headgum (YouTube and Podcasting)]

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07.

[The Titan's Bride]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 41 secrets from Secret Submission Post #736.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Come on, baby.

Maybe this time around.

Ffs

Let's try a cut tag. My vent is a bit heavy on mental health issues and that's why I'd like to warn for it or collapse the comments.

Testing.

Okay, so the post collapses now. This is a continuation of a previous comment I made in a vent post where I really wanted to kick out someone who was making my life hell in my online friends group. This horrible person was aggressive, continued their racism kink and transfetishism despite their virtue-signalling of hating people who even slightly are not the most educated about irl social issues or use outdated terms by accident, and was smearing me in private and shaming me directly in voice chat.

I did write my callout post for thar horrible person. It was in the form of sharing of screenshots of their offensive posts in private DMs to certain related people to make sure it was known why I was kicking out them out.

However I think I really fucked up by thinking and kicking out that person's BFF at the same time. The horrible person dropped it in voice chat that they were talking bad about me with their BFF, and I had assumed that the BFF was in complete agreement with the horrible person's gleeful open bullying of me.

Well anyway, after I had kicked the two people out, I received concerned DMs because the BFF went to the ER because of this. I blame myself for assuming (because the horrible person gleefully told me this to hurt me) they hated me, and offered to help pay for some amount of their hospital bill. But like fuck. I fucking hate this online business and these people. They've been making my life hell. It's not like I haven't been dealing with suicidal thoughts for months because of these people's actions, and to be totally honest I'll be glad if I don't have to deal with these people ever again. I'm so sorry if you were innocent, horrible person's BFF, I probably shouldn't have assumed. But god I need my own life back.

Oh, man, Anon. That sounds really awful.

I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this crap. Maybe or maybe not this 'sent' someone to the ER, but honestly, you can't take that on.

I hope you can get out of this 'business', whatever it is.

Thank you, man. It helps so much hearing that, because I really was taking it on. I did so out of guilt, and plenty of fear that 'sending someone to the ER' would be used against me online in case things came to that.

I can't get out of the friendship group entirely because there are still friends there that I care about, plus I'm the admin there, but I can certainly get away from the horrible person and BFF in particular.

Yeah, that really sucks.

I'm glad you've got them out of there - nobody should have to put up with that kind of toxic crap.

I'm not saying this is a pseudocide, but it sure as fuck sounds like a pseudocide. "My victim broke away from me, I will now attempt to make them feel like Satan himself and manipulate them into letting me back in to abuse them further" is classic abuser bullshit.

Even if it isn't, there is no universe in which you are responsible in any way for this person's poor mental health. You need to protect your own wellbeing, and you should never, ever feel guilty for taking steps to do that.

I thought it was shitty of me to suspect pseudocide when I kinda know that the BFF is possibly just that overreactive and panicked (tbh I know for sure I'm prone to psychosomatic health issues so it could be possible, but it's something I'm working on), but yeah. It's one of the reasons I did offer to help pay part of their hospital bill: 1) if it's real, then I certainly know how it is and sympathize, plus don't act like I didn't care about you. 2) Show me it's real, motherfucker, and not just another emotional manipulation tactic.

Seriously, I wasn't joking about how happy I'd be if I never have to hear from these people again. I'm starting to be hopeful that things can start being sane in my life again.

I mean, I suppose it was a little hasty to kick off the BFF without more proof they were also making trouble, but I don't think your decision was unreasonable. You're not ruining anyone's life, just kicking them out of a group.

Likewise, if that person really ended up in the ER (and this is something I'd want hard proof of, because I'm skeptical), then I still think it's not your fault. Someone who hurts themselves because they were booted from an online community has other issues going on.

Being hasty is like my major flaw. I'm trying to slow down with my reactions to problems. If anyone questions, then yes I may admit that it was a mistake to kick Adam without harder proof.

Thank you for the kind words! I've been taking this hard lately, and I had no idea that the BFF would respond this way (if they actually did, because they were saying bad things about me after all).

Yeah, this. Provided this really happened (and wasn't just told to OP to hurt them), if this is what "sent" the BFF over the edge and into the ER, they had some other major problem already lurking in the background and just about anything could have been the trigger that made them snap. However, this does sound a lot like a guilt tripping tactic.

Maybe. Hopefully others will see it this way too. I'm really scared about what it might mean for me. I hope people don't hold me accountable for sending someone off to the hospital.

Okay, maybe I've been on the internet too long and have grown too cynical, but how do you know for sure this person had to go to the ER? I'm highly suspicious that someone who got called out for participating in some real shitty shit-talk suddenly ended up in a situation that demands sympathy and forgiveness for their actions. It could happen. But it wouldn't be the first time someone tried to evade the consequences of their own actions by lying about their much more important and pressing emergency.

Mind you, even if it's true I don't think you owe them a dime. You have every right to protect yourself from this toxicity and reacting to being kicked out of a community by self-harm/suicide is a massive overreaction that suggests there's a lot more going on with this person than your current situation.

God, thank you so much for suggesting the possibility that this is an emotional manipulation tactic. Even if it's not, it's like these sort of extreme reactions are why I want to get away in the first place.

Me offering to pay some of the hospital bill is part me feeling guilty about the whole ordeal, but it's also to cover my own ass in case they try to build a case against me. God I hate how toxic things have become. I just want things to go back to normal.

I feel like it's a sad thing to have to consider, but... this stuff happens. People (especially people who willingly engage in toxic behavior like you describe) are capable of doing some really shitty things to try and weasel out of the repercussions for that toxic behavior. Rallying other people to try and wring sympathy and guilt from you is another red flag. I hope nobody was asshattish enough to suggest that you are in any way responsible for this person's mental well-being.

I'm not a lawyer, but I'm not sure offering to pay for the medical bill was a good cover your ass strategy. It's obvious it comes from a place of guilt, and some might interpret that as an admission of fault. If you'd come to this comm asking for advice, I would've said absolutely do not offer to pay for any medical bills. But what's done is done, and given the odds that this is fake... well, I think you're well rid of both these people regardless.

They haven't contacted me back in two days, and I hope they never interact with my life again.

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[ SECRET POST #5139 ]

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