fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5214 ]

[ SECRET POST #5214 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5214 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Inspired by today's secret #5.

These days I pretty much don't trust anyone. I've decided to secede from humanity and wish I could become a hermit.

This. I mean, I have a tendency of wanting to trust and share too much. But do people deserve it? Is it justified by reason? The answer is: no.

Time and time again it's the people who make the worst first impression on me that later leave with the best lasting impression. Basically, I've learned to give 'open jerks' the benefit of the doubt - though socially distant to the point that they read almost misanthropic, they often have good hearts once they finally grow comfortable around you.

I trust people who relog all of their likes 100% with my life.

I can no longer trust celebrities who base their public persona on being kind of an asshole. I've been a fan of too many people for whom that turned out not to be a persona at all.

Same with non-celebrities, actually. Your "sick burns" aren't clever or funny, you're just a dick.

Well, I don't trust middle aged white guys who bleat about being a feminist ally a lot, that's for sure.

I don't trust anyone who says they hate kids or animals.

Edited 2021-04-15 22:29 (UTC)

Honestly, I don't trust anybody! I trusted my mom, but she's gone.

I trusted my ex fiance: cheater. My best friend from school did some jackass things to me later (and actually back then but I was too forgiving). I just lack trust now, generally. I keep my own counsel and rely on myself.

The kind of people who are a little too into discourse and ship wars.

Like, I get it if it was some of the time because of interests and shit, but when a person just post nothing but what whatever fandoms is problematic - I just know its time to back away and maybe block if needs be.

People who actively dislike cats get my distrust. I'm often willing to give people who actively dislike dogs a chance, mostly because the majority of people I've encountered who actively dislike dogs do so because they've had bad experiences with violent, aggressive, or otherwise poorly trained/uncontrolled dogs, but people who actively dislike cats...it almost always seems to boil down to them being angry that they can't cow and control a cat as easily as they can a dog (or a person they think is beneath them.) I've met exactly one person who disliked cats for any other reason (with her it was because a cat attacked her as a kid and left her with a lifelong fear of them.) I don't think it's a coincidence that virtually all the people I've met who've hated cats have been men, either. That particular trait of hating anything you can't abuse into submission seems to be particular to a specific type of really unpleasant dude.

I'm sure you're going to get flack for this, but I largely agree. I do think there's a definite correlation between "I hate cats" and "I hate creatures I can't control, and I hate giving attention and affection to creatures that don't blindly adore me."

I don't care if someone prefers dogs to cats, but if they hate cats I probably don't trust them.

I agree. I don't distrust people who are afraid of cats, because in that case I can believe they had a bad experience as a kid, even if they don't necessarily remember it. But people who actively hate cats usually hate that they aren't dogs and don't have the same need to please us and can't be controlled in the same way.

Those people don't like that human-cat relationships are give and take and people have to compromise with cats. Someone like that is probably going to be like that in other areas of their life too and insist on always being right and having their way. I just don't trust that kind of person.

I don't trust people whose self-image is that they're selfless and giving. Not saying I hate them right off the top, or will never trust them no matter what they do. But at least until I get to know them, I don't trust them. In fact, I trust them less than people who straight up admit to being selfish.

The people in my life who see themselves as selfless and giving have generally been the people who have been the most selfish and also the most controlling of others.

People who defend (their favorite) satire too much. It's entire purpose is to be this side of edgy, it's fine if people understand but still don't like it.

People I distrust:
1. Anyone who mistreats animals. Anyone who finds joy in hurting an animal, even a kind considered a "pest." Someone who finds joy in hurting something living and vulnerable is not trustworthy in my opinion.

2. People who don't know the difference between opinion and fact and who have an elevated view of the importance of their personal opinions.

3. People who lack compassion and empathy in general. I can trust someone with different views on things, depending on what the particular issue is and how different our views are. But if someone is just completely unsympathetic to anyone who isn't themselves and just assumes the worst of everyone and is self-centered and thinks helping people is stupid, I don't trust them at all.

4. People who aren't kind. Just, people who don't say thank you, or say hello. People who aren't nice to wait staff, employees, or other service industry people. People who just lack basic kindness.

5. Honestly, these days people who vote Republican. I know people who used to be Republicans but who can't in good conscious. But anyone who could vote for the party of Donald Trump, Ted Cruise, and Mitch McConnell, I just am going to be wary of. Maybe they might have a reasonable explanation, but I think it is unlikely.

Seconding this entire list.

I've been in a super small fandom for over 20 years and I really wanted to get out and make friends with the new blood, but every time I look at their blogs, they rant about my existence and the ship that helped me figure out I'm a butch lesbian (doing my own thing in my own blogs) and vaguepost shit about me, and now I just don't trust anyone who vagueposts about people in public. Rude. Very mean girls in high school vibe.

I don't trust anyone who spends half their time complaining about how hard it is to be a parent and the other half trying to talk everyone who doesn't have kids into having them.

Oh man, I know people like this. They don't seem to actually like being parents, but they also seem to think it is everyone's responsibility to be a parent. The idea of anyone, especially a woman, not having kids, is something they just can't fathom.

I don't trust anyone who has "minor" in their twitter/tumblr bio. People who list their age and it's below 20 are also on thin ice, but simply saying you're a minor is a GUARANTEE you're that kind of entitled kid who invades explicitly adult spaces and sics your friends on the adults there for making you uncomfy because they're a MINOR and it's every adults job to make their content safe for MINORS!

Online? I kind of side-eye anyone who primarily refers to themselves as "fandom mom/dad/grandparent/etc." If other people refer to them as that, it's different. But if that's how they're introducing themselves as newbies, it's kind of sketch.

In real life, nosy old people who want to know everything about you because you live next door/shop at the same time as them/whatever. Most of them are probably just trying to be friendly, but it's still kind of creepy. Cool... you noticed I wasn't home for a few days. If I wanted you to know where I was going, I'd have told you before I left. Figure out how to use Netflix or something and leave me alone.

Anyone who describes themselves as "an empath" or "highly empathic" is immediately on my "do not trust, hell, do not even interact if I can avoid them" list.

In my experience, those people have *always* been, at best, self-centered.

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[ SECRET POST #5214 ]

What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?

Re: What kind of people do you trust and/or alternatively not trust?