[ SECRET POST #5319 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5319 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 09 secrets from Secret Submission Post #761.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. https://i.imgur.com/ipdgyvh.png

[(Anonymous)]

I mean that’s real weird and creepy

[(Anonymous)]

man, cosplayers are just...I mean, I'm a cosplayer. my housemate is a cosplayer. I have like 20 cosplayers in my personal irl circle of various levels of friendship. Being a cosplayer, no matter how aggressively they spread their name across social media to be "famous," is not being famous. It's not celebrity. It's not impressive. who the actual fuck cares if you know about their private lives. I could tell you all kinds of dumb things about my private life if you want to stalk a cosplayer? but it's not interesting because cosplayers are just geek-shaped people. if someone has a weird, dramatic life, it's because they're weird and dramatic, not because they're either famous or part of a niche (gamer, streamer, cosplayer, etc).

[pantswarrior]

+++++++

I have been cosplaying at cons for... *thinks* eep, 19 years now. Most of the time when people mention "famous" cosplayers I have no idea who they are unless they were involved in some kind of really stupid wanky drama and I know to avoid them. It's just this thing I do with friends, who are my friends not because I saw their pictures shared on social media or whatever but because we ran into each other at a con and went "omg your costume rocks!" at each other and struck up a conversation. Fame and cosplay? Hahaha whatever.

Though I guess I would've thought it was kinda cute if someone "shipped" me and my s/o when I had one to cosplay with. Because yeah, I shipped us too! ;)

[(Anonymous)]

21 years here. GET IT! :D

yeah, I run in some weird cosplay circles too but as a former radio jock, I also understand the concept of "famous in certain circles." I learned at a very young age how easy it is for anyone to become famous - or infamous - in a small circle but then end up completely unknown in larger and larger circles. We are all famous or at least known to somebody.

[pantswarrior]

Oh yeah. Years ago I had a column under my real name on a pretty well-known site, and occasionally people on IRC chats or whatever would go "Wait - you're THAT [firstname]?! OMG!" and I was like... uh... I'm just a nerd sitting here in my pajamas with hair desperately in need of combing, definitely nothing special.

That was 20 years ago, now I'm pretty sure no one remembers my name or would care, and rightly so. (One of my fellow columnists at the site is now a pretty well-decorated author and multiple Hugo finalist. Next to that, yeaaaaaah, I'm really nothing special.)

...Instead a couple times I've gone to cosplay meet-ups for certain fandoms and had other cosplayers recognize my username for the fic I wrote rather than the cosplay. Which is kind of hilarious, but cute, and as long as I've given someone joy with some fannish thing I did, I'm glad. I'm just a nerd having fun and trying to spread some fun.

[(Anonymous)]

OP. ...I'm not quite sure what you're getting at. Because they aren't celebrity famous it doesn't matter that I'm creeping in them?

So my point in the secret was; For me, this level of investment in people I don't personally know is very, very unusual. It honestly freaks me out a little bit to be this invested in actual strangers. The fact that they are cosplayers are the reason I found out about them but the parasocial relationship I've got going on is all new for me and it's not really a comfortable place for me to be. But I still keep doing it.

[(Anonymous)]

that sort of info is actually pretty helpful, really.

parasocial relationships are tough. If you're self-aware enough to know you're invested in the personal lives of people who...well, in whom you should NOT be invested, to be fair, you have the awareness to be able to stop. It might be hard, it might take actual work, but you can stop. Just remember that unlike the Kardashians, or other people who put themselves on display in public with the intention of being followed parasocially, a lot of cosplayers aren't on that level. They probably don't want that relationship. If they're courting drama, that's one thing, but if you're exerting effort to be able to peer into their lives, that's not healthy at all. Ask yourself if you would do this if it were your neighbors a block away, or the cashier at the grocery store, or anyone else with whom you don't actually share a relationship - blood, friendship, etc.

Like, I know there are parasocial situations where you can get away with the stalking without the target ever knowing or giving a shit, but do you really want to? It might not be hurting anyone but is it helping? Only you can answer that for yourself so basically, look deep inside and decide for yourself what to work on.

Believe me, I get it. I get not being able to stop. I have a drinking problem I'm working on and it's very hard to stop, even with resources. I wouldn't blame you for needing time or extra steps. But it does matter that you're creeping on regular folks who could be your neighbors or the grocery clerk; there is a level at which it's absolutely unacceptable to be so invested in the lives of other people. Good luck going forward, I hope you can big-picture the situation and figure out what's cool and what's not.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, I am very aware. That's a big reason it has been posted on this site and I have never mentioned anything elsewhere and have actively avoided actual interaction with their content. I have done nothing outside the ordinary but my brain likes to turn things over and spin them out.

I think part of it is, I don't get parasocial relationships. I am very aware of the scope of my real life. So to have this irrational surge of interest has me really freaked out. I think if I can just moderate my interest levels back to normal, I can enjoy their content like I do any other cosplayer without the obsessiveness. But yeah, I think that'll just take a little time to throttle back.

Maybe it's because I'm between fandoms currently and all my 'fan-ness' has decided to focus on them. ...that feels uncomfortably correct.

Thanks for answering sincerely, typing this out has really clarified this for me. I think I just need a new fandom or rl focus.

[(Anonymous)]

is this about a certain Good Omens trans couple?

[(Anonymous)]

Op, it is not.

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks Secret maker! That's an amazing design for my secret.