Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2009-02-16 05:18 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2009-02-16 05:18 pm
[ SECRET POST #773 ]
⌈ Secret Post #773 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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[Pete Wentz, Fall Out Boy]
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 300 secrets from Secret Submission Post #111.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
110, 121, 134, 154, 157
121. ...Man, this could've been written by me in my sleep. :/
First of all, OP, I gotta say, you're way more mature than most people I've encountered on the Internet so far. Apparently somewhere along the line it became passé to own up to your mistakes, and the Internet has only allowed people not to just because there are no consequences (except any moderation, but even then that only applies to certain sites -- sometimes leaving the power to police ourselves to ourselves is not at all a good idea, one reason why I'm convinced technology is actually discouraging meaningful connections and fragmenting relationships instead of bringing us together, but that's neither here nor there). The fact that you're willing to own up to your mistakes is commendable, and the world certainly needs more people like you. ;-)
When I used to have a different LJ username, I mouthed off and got all srs bzns on a capslock comm, of all places. And a whole number of people bitched me out, including someone I once considered a fandom friend -- she was rude and insulting to me both on the comm and on her flocked personal journal. I apologized and did damage control as quickly as I could, but even when some people wrote back and accepted my apology, the other comments still stung. Still do, as a matter of fact. :( My so-called "friend" and I started talking again after a while, but it wasn't the same, and I don't think she ever apologized. So yeah, OP, I totally understand.
To some people, when you screw up, all they see is a pseudonym and a userpic. That's it. They don't see the real person typing those words. Therefore, it becomes very easy to project the image of the overgrown manchild living in his mother's basement, with a neckbeard and dirty clothes and no life IRL, and therefore is a figure worthy of ridicule. Now granted, some people are deserving of ridicule. But I truly feel that most aren't. Most people who screw up are decent, well-meaning people who may have a few issues they're trying to work out -- maybe they're even aware of it. And when they get ridiculed, it's not deserved. It's bullying. And they do it only to make themselves feel better. They feel they need to because they're scared, they're hiding a bruised ego, they can't handle certain important things, they're running away from their problems instead of facing them. (For that matter, they wouldn't be out of place in Evangelion.) So they try to make themselves feel better by going after the "stupid people." And since they never like admitting they're wrong, they'll never forgive you when you do inevitably prove them wrong.
I think these are the kinds of people you ran into, OP.
Just don't be discouraged, OK? There are people out there -- hell, even right here -- who respect you for that. You're not a bad person; at least that much is true.
(Sorry for the speech -- this has been bothering me for some time too.)
134. That's what we're here for, OP. ;-)
154. ...Took the words right out of my mouth. :/
157. ...And here's another secret I could've made in my sleep. I totally get jealous at seeing healthy fandom friendships, I have no social skills whatsoever, and I come across as being a bit of a troll sometimes, I admit. And yes, I don't know how to make myself relatable either. I try to find people with some common ground first -- especially on fandom friending memes. Those definitely help. ;-) But yeah -- I wish I could know how to make friends too. You're not alone, OP.