Phil said she had a migraine and didn't have the bandwidth for this, so it sounds like she was having a bad night, too? Don't get me wrong, sometimes it's nice to make sacrifices for other people. If Phil's mom often reciprocates by doing the same for her, then that's good. But it's not healthy to do this regularly, especially when you're all making sacrifices in order to manage the nasty temper of a family member who behaves in selfish, toxic ways.