[ SECRET POST #5446 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5446 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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10. [SPOILERS for Wheel of Time]



















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #779.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I honestly did think that I misunderstood you, hence why I didn’t reply at first. But in looking back, as well as seeing your responses to others, I don’t think I misunderstood you at all. You’re exactly the kind of person I was criticizing in the first place.

There are always going to be people who use and take advantage of people and rules to abuse others, and BDSM is no different. But you’re using the most extreme examples to generalize all non-service top doms, as well as painting a broad brush over their intentions and morality. Which is exactly what I was saying is absurd.

BDSM may be a “lifestyle” in a certain definition. But no matter how you try to repeat the same sentiment over and over, this “lifestyle” doesn’t encompass every moment of a doms life. Doms as a whole are definitively able to separate bedroom thoughts and activities from the rest of their lives, even when it involves their partners. You can keep saying they can’t, but you have yet to bring anything resembling evidence of that to the table, beyond basically “just trust me”. I may not be into BDSM, making me not fit to actually argue some things, so I may have been a bit too willing to hear you out. But many of the people you’ve argued with downthread are into BDSM, and they’ve been using similar arguments as I have, with more firsthand experience of course.

Being a dom that gets enjoyment out of the act beyond just being a service top does not inherently make them a bad person. And I’m sorry that you’ve encountered negative spaces and experiences, feeling alienated in non-lesbian BDSM spaces. I’m a lesbian too, so I can emphasize with feeling alienated, and even intimidated, in situations. But your experiences are still too anecdotal to make such broad generalizations like you are. And attempting to use actual rapists to try to make a moral judgment about non-service top doms is ridiculously unfounded. As well as just as anecdotal. Because rapists don’t make up the majority of any groups, thank fucking god.

All in all, you’re being discriminatory towards non-service top doms for assumed behavior, but you can’t read minds or prove that most of them are they way you believe they are. In a way, you really are kinkshaming people within your very own community. This whole thread was in response to a secret that involved fanfiction, and the thread was appropriately fiction-related until you came in. You turned the discussion into moral judgments against not only people who would write from the POV of a non-service top dom, but actual real life doms. And then moved the goal posts and lied about what the discussion was actually about whenever someone either tried to bring the thread back on topic, or provided a counter to your moralizing of strangers that you couldn’t argue against. And going back to the secret and the actual topic of the thread, fiction is a place to explore ideas freely in a way that can either echo real life or not, and only antis wish for that to be different. I’m not saying you’re an anti, but you display very similar behavior by using what someone is into in their personal moments or in their inner thoughts, and try to turn that into a sweeping generalization and moral judgment about them as a person. Using similar tactics as antis to try to shame them for their kinks and interests, even if they’ve never hurt anyone, and never intend to. Even if the acts they participate in are completely consensual and discussed thoroughly by the involved parties, you’re still trying to judge the dom for enjoying the act in a way you don’t approve of. And your only reasoning is the worst of the worst few people that happened to be involved in the community, your own anecdotal experiences, and feeling like the way you enjoy being a dom should be the only way.