case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2009-03-14 05:44 pm

[ SECRET POST #799 ]


⌈ Secret Post #799 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 19 pages, 458 secrets from Secret Submission Post #115.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: 124

[identity profile] bookofsorrow.livejournal.com 2009-03-15 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
anxiety disorders are horrible. I suffer from them as well. I've been on a variety of different meds for the last 10 years. I finally found something that works for me about 90% of the time. I'm taking Buspar.


but I still don't leave the house as often as I'd like. I'm just afraid I'll have a panic attack in public, so I prefer to stick close to home.



Re: 124

[identity profile] rinnia.livejournal.com 2009-03-15 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Gosh, I had my first severe panic attack about three years ago. Ten years... It's great to hear that you've found something that works well for you now. Right now I take Xanax off and on as needed, but I can tell it's not something that'll work forever for me. I'll write down Buspar so I don't forget about it later on.

Stay strong. Someday, I know we'll all be completely in control. :)

Re: 124

[identity profile] bookofsorrow.livejournal.com 2009-03-15 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I have taken Paxil, Celexa and now Buspar. It works well. and it would probably work even better if I actually took it like I'm supposed to.


heh.


which is twice a day. once in the morning and then again at night. I usually manage once a day *nod*


and there is a misconception about these pills. most people only take them when they have a panic attack, but you're actually supposed to take them everyday. they help regulate the seratonin levels in your body. a low level causes panic attacks. I have learned a lot about them over the years.

it's also a genetic thing. my sister suffers from them as well. and 3 of her 4 kids. she takes Buspar and her youngest son does. my niece took something for awhile, but I don't remember what. I just know she stopped taking it because she didn't like the way it made her feel. *gives her some Buspar* lol


I was told I'd be on my meds for the rest of my life. But since it's something that helps me cope with everyday life? I think I can handle taking it everyday.


Re: 124

[identity profile] rinnia.livejournal.com 2009-03-15 07:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I had a prescription for Zoloft at one point, but I didn't take it because... well... I was anxious about taking medication. Go fig. I've tried using breathing techniques and things like that I was taught by a therapist, and it worked for a while, but it seems like they're just not as effective anymore. I know I'm going to have to get more help soon. I'm just hoping I can hold out until I have better medical insurance. I take Lipitor for cholesterol as well, and at the moment, I don't know how easy it'd be to pay for more that just that. So. For now I get to pop my Xanax and just... deal, I guess. Good know about the effects the levels can have. I'll keep that in mind.

No one else in my biological family has an anxiety disorder, though I worry a bit about my younger brother sometimes, as he's prone to worrying and is a lot like me in a lot of ways. I hope it doesn't hit him when he gets to the age it hit me. I actually have a family members who's not related to me by blood that has an anxiety disorder and takes medication, and while I certainly don't wish this stuff on anyone, it's really nice sometimes to have someone so close who really understands. There've been so many medical issues in my family the past few years, but at least we've got each other. If nothing else, we're all closer than ever. Gotta take something positive where you can, right?

I'm with you. I hate having the financial obligation of my Lipitor and remembering to keep it with me if I need to travel, but my cholesterol is just ridiculously unsafe without it. If it'll keep me living, I'll put up with it. The anxiety's a lot like that too. It's hard to call what I do during the attacks living. If I can find something that'll make me feel even halfway normal again, then I'll put up with it. It's worth it.

Re: 124

[identity profile] bookofsorrow.livejournal.com 2009-03-15 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't pay for my meds. I get SSI. which is Supplemental Security Income. because of my panic problems, I can't work. and I had to do something to get the money, etc to pay for my meds. You should look into that.


for me, it meant going in and talking to a counselor, the social security offices, a social worker, having all of these tests done. and before I was back on my meds again... that was hell. literally. I was freaking out over everything. having to go to town to talk to all of these people, having to go in and get my state ID card, open a checking account, get my birth certificate, talk to about 12 different doctors specializing in all kinds of different fields. I have now been on SSI for 5 years, my review comes up next year. We'll see what hapepns there.

I get 435.00 a month from SSI and I have medical coupons which take care of the cost of my meds. If I didn't live with my parents, I'd get more money and food stamps as well.

I really want to try and get out on my own, so I am going to talk to the SSI people when my review comes up about that. Because they can tell me what all needs to be done, where to look for low-income housing. How my money situation, etc will change.


http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/11000.html

that link will take you to the SSI section and give you more information about it. it's definitely worth looking into.


the other meds I take everyday is Prevacid, because I have evil evil acid reflux/GERD

Re: 124

[identity profile] rinnia.livejournal.com 2009-03-15 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh good god, I have GERD too. I was on Aciphex and getting it for free from my college's clinic, but then I graduated. So, again, now it's just something I'm trying to cope with until I can do something about it. I'm hoping to go back to school soon (I have a boyfriend that I've been living with since before all this started, so I have someone to help me when thing get rough. I don't think I'd be able to handle all this without him.), so that'd carry with it some nice insurance and hopefully a fellowship or two, but if that doesn't all work out, I'll keep the SSI thing in mind. Thank you for the link, and thank you for telling me all of this as well. I'm really impressed by everything you've gone through. When things get tough, believe me, I'll be thinking of you as inspiration.

Re: 124

[identity profile] bookofsorrow.livejournal.com 2009-03-15 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Ohh, it's good that you have someone to help you out. Nice boyfriend :)

I was married for awhile, but I have a lot of trust issues when it comes to men. How we managed to hang on for 6 years is beyond me. We lived more like friends than a married couple. What with my "don't touch me" all of the time. I have to give him credit, he was very patient considering. Long story short, I was raped by 2 of my neighbors on a regular basis from the age of 4 to the age of 6. It's not something I like to think about, but it's something I have to deal with on a daily basis. and I'm certain it's a big part of my panic problems. I can't help but wonder how I would be now if I hadn't gone through what I did. but on the other hand, it's made me more of a sympathetic person I think toward what others are going through or have gone through in their life. so I can't say that I'd go back and change it if given the option. other than ya know, I'd have told someone a lot sooner than the 5th grade. yeah, trust issues are a big thing with me.


and I don't mind sharing my experiences because if it helps others out, then I'm more than willing. I think it helps to talk about it.

Re: 124

[identity profile] rinnia.livejournal.com 2009-03-16 01:57 am (UTC)(link)
It continues to amaze me how every single person you meet has a story. I can't even imagine how difficult that must be. I know what you mean about events, good and bad, making you who you are. It's nothing compared to what you went through in your childhood (and congratulations on telling someone eventually - I know someone who took until high school to tell about something that happened when she was 5, and it just destroyed her), but I have a lot of issues with my dad, and I know a lot of the emotional issues I face now stem from my interactions with him when I was younger. More recently, I've seen my boyfriend through chemotherapy (hopefully past tense - they think he's in remission now), and while it was awful and I wish he'd never had to go through this, I know it's made both of us appreciate just being alive every day. Both of us feeling well to enough to take a trip to Walmart or go out to lunch is worthy of celebration now. That might seem pathetic, but to me, it's great. It means I can find simple things to get happy about, which means I'm happy more often and can find joy in even dark times. The path to it has not been fun, but it's a skill I'm happy to have.

I find it helps to talk too. Really, I'm very glad you shared. I talked to a lot of doctors, nurses, hospital workers, and other chemo patients while my boyfriend was getting treatment, and I feel so much richer for having heard them. Learning other people's stories is one of the best things about life, I think.

Re: 124

[identity profile] bookofsorrow.livejournal.com 2009-03-15 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
*happens


I can type, really I can