fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #810 ]

⌈ Secret Post #810 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Heroes]

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[Avatar]

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[The L Word]

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[SWAT Kats/Pinky and the Brain]

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[Radiohead/Eversion]

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[Metalocalypse]

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[David Tennant]

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[Supernatural]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 146 secrets from Secret Submission Post #116.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - doing it wrong ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't understand the "even most guys" part of this secret. Men aren't necessarily kinkier than women, and perhaps different genders tend toward different kinks. Or perhaps the traditional and lingering culture of repressing female sexuality has given women in general kinkier thoughts -- the Victorians, after all, were both severely repressed and pretty damn kinky. Or maybe it's the old expectation of female obedience weaving its way into some women's views of sexual relationships. Have any studies been done on such things? I'm curious.

Personally, I'm a women who LOVES D/s and BDSM in general -- at least fic-wise. Huge kink for me.

*ramblerambleramble*

This. That secret rubbed me the wrong way in a few ways. Sure, the over exaggerated relationship power dynamics in fic can be really annoying, but when it comes to sexytimes, why is dom/sub, or being into something guys aren't into cause for concern, and why would guys be inherently more kinky?

(I mean, I'm kinkier than most of the guys I've met, and I'm not even all that into D/s. </anecdotal evidence>)

*rambleramblerambleramble*

I would argue that slash (and, in a somewhat more stereotyped way, yaoi) offer chances for women to explore erotic issues around power and power exchange without explicit power differences due to gender getting in the way. For some people, exploring a submissive stance through a male character is safer than exploring it through a female one that they might be tempted to identify more with. (Ditto a dominant stance, although for some reason it seems to freak people out less in general, at least IME.)

I dunno, I think it's more that a lot of women think two guys together is hot, and we're inundated with heteronormative relationships with at least a slight power differential, so that subconsciously gets projected, if they aren't specifically going for D/s. I am skeptical of the "safe space argument" -- but then, I'm a lesbian who vastly prefers femslash, so I don't really have a personal connection with the yaoi love.

[ SECRET POST #810 ]

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