Heartily agreed re. yaoi/BL fandoms. But it really is just a matter of how we're wired; some women like the long-haired manorexic wibblers, and some of us prefer gritty testosteronefests about grown-ups doing grown-ups. I've talked to women who are really turned on by the idea of seme/uke, often because they feel it speaks to the idea of having more genders than just male or female - whereas I cannot stand it and find it as squicky as any other kind of enforced gender performance. I continue to believe there's enough room in fandom, as a broad enterprise, for all of us; we all find our own niches.