fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5593 ]

[ SECRET POST #5593 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5593 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Malcolm in the Middle]

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[The Owl House]

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[Doctor Who (2005)]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #800.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I’m done hearing about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. It’s all my coworkers wanna talk about and they play videos of the trail during lunchtime and it’s just driving me bananas.

My friends were talking about it in our group chat and I stayed silent. A few days ago I wrote that I feel it uncomfortable to watch people's private, complex lives be put on display like that. When I was younger I was engrossed with that stuff but now, it's just...we don't need to know their private lives.

I'm writing this partially to avoid checking on my sick hen who's almost certainly dead; she improved for a week or so, and then was holding steady yesterday after a sharp decline over the past couple days, and then couldn't stand up and was weak and limp this morning when I left for work. I wish I was rich enough to afford all the tests the vet wanted, sigh.

And this has been a week. My cat is also sick and yesterday before dawn she kept jumping on the stove; I didn't get enough sleep because she kept knocking stuff over all night.

Then she jumped up while I was cooking and I grabbed her to prevent her catching fire or dumping boiling rice over us both, and she scratched my eyelid, so I shut her in the bathroom while I went to work with a gross bleeding eye, so she wouldn't jump on the stove while I was gone and turn on a burner or something.

When I came home I couldn't get in the bathroom; she'd knocked over a shelf so it wedged between the door and the opposite wall. I had to get a ladder, break the window screen to get it out of the window, catch the cat as she tried to escape, put her in the house, and use a broom to lever the shelf up and away from the door so I could go clean up all the broken stuff, including glass, all over the (I just cleaned it the day before) bathroom.

Idk, this week's been a lot. Now to go cry and dig a small sad hole in the garden. I hate losing pets, and I'm exhausted.

I’m so sorry, nonny! I understand about losing pets, it’s awful.

I am ESL. Some 100 years ago, there was this widely famous male writer in my language. His 'friends' tried to defame him by spreading that he was homosexual, and not only that, that he only mentored young writers in order to bone them - "he's a sissy" and all that, and of course he got tired of those friends and broke up with them. Back then, he would exchange letters with other writers. In one of them, that remained in secret for maybe 70 years, he wrote something to the effect of: my personal life is nobody's business, they're spreading ludicrous ideas based on an initial truth. In another, he ironizes the fact, saying: so they're comparing me to Rimbaud and Verlaine, Oscar Wilde, etc.? Must be the fame getting to me. Great attitude aside, I find it funny that people take these as evidence to mean that he was obviously gay and disagreeing means erasing his homosexuality or whatever. His family claims that he was asexual and I think it's possible, in fact, seems likely - but to say he was gay isn't erasing his possible sexuality, but to say he might have been asexual is ...?
Signed: a tired asexual lol.

I'm just tired of the general assumption being romance and/or sex whenever you so much as even breathe in another human's direction. I get that humans are sexual creatures, but sometimes people are in fact just doing nothing but talking and actually being platonic and shit.

Exactly. Thank you!

For real! Why can't people just...exist?

I do not want any celebrity love life news in my life. They all get divorced, all the time.
Related to this I do not care about Depp. He chose a younger women over his previous wife. Typical. I also know quite a lot of 40 something men dropping their wifes like hot potatoes.
Though I do get to feel smug because I knew Amber was in the wrong after I heard that Depp's ex sided with him and seeing a video where Amber was clearly provoking and filming. All this while everybody was firmly pro-Amber.

Still, not watching the court news. It's possible that I'm victim blaming Depp.

Eh, they're both hideous people. I know it's very ~both sides~ of me to say but genuinely, they're both just disgusting... and I know it's celebrity gossip and all but this one feels grosser than usual. Like it's just distasteful.

DA

But I completely agree. It does feel wrong to ~both sides~, but it feels very likely. And the Depp stans and Heard stans have been some of the most hateful I’ve seen in so long. Not to mention the fact that thanks to them, it now seems to be accepted that mutual abuse is just a myth?

Dumb venting, but I find it funny when I hear people say that conventionally attractive girls don't get bullied, or that bullied girls don't get conventionally attractive, and I am saying this particularly because of yesterday's secret #2.

In more than one occasion as an adult I have been nicknamed Hermione because I supposedly look like Emma Watson in the movies and we are the same age. Fun fact: I thought I was REALLY ugly as a kid, because I was badly bullied in school. I am autistic and didn't let my mom brush my hair due to sensorial issues, so it was a big reason for bullying. (Back then, my nickname was Samara. You know. The Ring's.) Another was the fact that I was a nerdy smartass. Also, I put on a lot of weight quickly, but I also lose it quickly. Lastly, being autistic and asexual of course didn't help. Boys can be harsh towards girls who seem better than them at things like studying or gaming and don't care for dating. Then I grew up, and realized that sometimes - when I am thinner, because my face is naturally chubby and a lot of fat goes right there; also, when I am not overworked to the point of making my huge eyeballs more evident; when I bother with makeup and skincare. So, in short, when I am happy - I can actually look conventionally attractive.

... The thing is, unlike a book heroine, my personality never had a glow up, so those people who called me Hermione always changed their minds and decided that I was more like Luna in 0.5 day, but I digress. In short, to me in my experience, the typical heroine personality glow up is much less realistic than the outward appearance glow up lol.

I was an anon saying that attractive girls don't get bullied and I still stand by this opinion. I saw a lot of class dynamics as I changed schools often, and never once a fit light haired fashionably dressed girl was bullied. They're often very nice people, btw, no hate. Same in Uni. Lookism is very much a thing.

nayrt

I get the feeling you just weren't paying close attention, or didn't know these people very well. Just because you didn't personally witness it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

AYRT - But the point in the secret was exactly that Hermione had a "glow up" and people thought that was somehow unrealistic? When it's perfectly realistic of kids who are uninterested in grooming to grow up, get fit (because that's what hormones do to some along with growing tall...), start dressing well, wearing makeup and such, and become a conventionally attractive person. It's... really common, in fact.

Not saying that there isn't a positive social bias towards "conventionally pretty" people just that Hermione growing up to be like that wouldn't be impossible in the slightest.

Also, before I forget. This conversation made me think of Columbine - there is this big discussion over how attractive or not the perpetrators were, and some people do think they couldn't have been that angry at school because they were "white and not too ugly" (ie. "could have been attractive if they tried") as if those are the only possible reasons to be violently bullied in school. Particularly if your school is full of "white and not too ugly people", you can bet kids will find a reason to bully a Christ really. In that case, some reasons were (particularly mental) health issues not adhering to macho stereotypes prevalent in that culture (in mine, mental and physical issues and not adhering to girly stereotypes absolutely played a part.) "Ugly" is much more related to attitude and (pop, media, etc.) culture than we give it credit for.

Yuuup. There are a hell of a lot more variables to this equation than just looks.

It's definitely true that if you're conventionally good looking in school you're a lot less likely to get severely bullied in the sense of being the one who is just trying to keep their head down but people actively seek to hurt you.

But a lot also depends on your level of societal normativity. If you're "weird," you better be hot af in an unmistakable kind of way, or you will definitely be a target.

Furthermore, a lot of the "pretty, popular" girls in my school could be absolutely vicious to each other. And it wasn't like every single popular girl was equal in power. Usually there was the sense that it was one of the slightly less popular girls who was getting socially savaged by the ones who had a slight edge over her. Personally, I would call that bullying.

Also, a bit of a side note, but kids are fucking terrible at discerning who is good looking and who isn't. When I look at my old yearbooks, so many of the "not pretty" girls were just good-looking in slightly unconventional ways. What becomes super clear looking back is that tweens and teens weight physical attractiveness very, very heavily on how obvious the indicators of your gender and sexual maturity are. "Pretty girl" to most teens means makeup that enhances feminine facial characteristics to the extent that they become unmissable from several paces, and an obviously sexually mature body. Now, none of that stuff is bad or unattractive. It's just wild how blind most kids are to attractiveness outside of those parameters.

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[ SECRET POST #5593 ]

Vent thread

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Pet illness and death tw.

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AYRT

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