[ SECRET POST #5627 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5627 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #805.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: How is everyone today?

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you! ❤️
(Also I am starting to think that I always felt ashamed for being "shallow" and self-absorbed, but I actually should prioritize investing into things I can change if it brings me so much pain)

Re: How is everyone today?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

It's late so I don't know if you will see this but I am in full support of you prioritizing things you can change in terms of your self-image.

I've struggled with my femininity and living in a world of female surveillance for the male gaze. I still struggle with it so much every day. But I did begin to realize that it's OK to perform femininity as I wish to experience it. I might not believe that I'm pretty, but I can do things that make me feel pretty. All of this is for me. If I want to feel pretty, I should allow myself to feel pretty. I'm putting on a performance for myself, no one else. And my performance is to find happiness and joy.

I wish you all the best, and it's OK to take it one little step at a time. At first, I focused on finding a way to be happy with my hair. As I learned more, I added in improving my makeup skills (a little at a time; maybe will learn more about eyebrow stuff for a while and not worry so much about a full face of makeup). And then slowly, I've been working with understanding fashion more (again, maybe learn about my body shape as I try to find ways to shop for flattering jeans not focus on every clothing item ever). Remember to have fun with it!! If something feels like too much work it's OK to let it go. Fashion and beauty "rules" were meant to be broken! It's like the pirate code, they're more like guidelines than rules.

I hope I'm not overstepping and oversharing or like I'm projecting, so if anything I wrote you weren't feeling it's OK to gloss over it, I didn't mean anything personally and I won't take it personally.

Know that you deserve to work on you. You deserve to prioritize yourself. So what if people call/think you shallow? Not your problem to be responsible for people feeling negatively toward you because you want to look and feel good about you. You're with you 100% of the time, what about everyone else? Treat yourself well, and it's OK if it means to dress yourself up and indulge in grooming yourself a little more.

Of course there's a lot more to work on with your self-image and self-esteem than just buying new clothes and telling yourself you are beautiful every day. Given that it affects you greatly, it's not completely shallow to focus on your external features. Your mental health matters. Feeling good about yourself in layered and different ways is OK and I think very good! Good to be kind to yourself mentally, good to give into your desire to look pretty/cool/badass/stunning, good to not only value yourself for your looks or your brains. It's OK to want more! Beauty can be nuanced, it's not our fault it's mostly been presented to us in a shallow, sexist way that encouraged a lot of internalized misogyny.

I'm sorry I rambled so much! I've actually been working through so much self-image and self-esteem stuff for months now. I didn't used to think my low self esteem had much to do with my internalized misogyny and the way I saw femininity. It's been a long road and I am still learning every day. I wish you all the best!

Re: How is everyone today?

[(Anonymous)]

(damn, I wish DW had some notification system for anons)
Hey! I love your road! And I love listening to people's stories.
Funnily enough my road is in opposite direction, I always tried to perform and embrace femininity because I am really feminine-looking person, but it is not something that makes me happy. But still I can have grievances with my body outside of gender... everything. They are just not an easy or fast fix. At all. And I am stuck in this cycle of mental-life-health-social etc issues and just can't catch a break. This is highly tiresome.