case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2022-08-09 05:13 pm

[ SECRET POST #5695 ]


⌈ Secret Post #5695 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 26 secrets from Secret Submission Post #815.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2022-08-09 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Horders gives me anxiety attacks, because I lived for a few years with someone who wasn't AS bad as the people on that show, but it still sets me off!
kallanda_lee: (Default)

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2022-08-09 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Whatever works for you, but I can't watch it. I have hoarding tendencies, and basically anything on TV about it is super triggering.
tabaqui: (Default)

[personal profile] tabaqui 2022-08-09 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm glad it gives you an incentive to clear out every now and again.
I have trouble with the show because a week of 'therapy' and de-junkers coming in isn't going to cure these people, and a huge majority of them are left with a damaged, still-filthy house (half a day with wipes and scrubby pads did not make those houses clean), and a person who lived in literal heaps of their own feces, or rat and mouse droppings, or the corpses of dead pets and just...didn't care. It's so stop-gap and temporary and kind of pitiful.
Edited 2022-08-09 23:08 (UTC)

(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
It's not that the hoarders didn't care, it's that their mental health issues were too great to be able to clean up those problems. So I completely agree with you about the show.
tabaqui: (Default)

[personal profile] tabaqui 2022-08-10 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, i know they didn't 'care', per se. I meant - they didn't seem to notice the reek of dead pets and urine, and looked baffled when others did. I don't think the show long-term helped the really sick individuals at all; I hope I'm wrong.
erinptah: (Default)

[personal profile] erinptah 2022-08-10 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
They do set the people up with long-term services, including ongoing therapy, after the filming ends. (Up to the individuals to decide which ones they take advantage of. Some refuse, some go for it.)

I don't know enough to say how well that works, but it's more substantial than "show up long enough to film a few days of drama, disappear completely afterward."
tabaqui: (Default)

[personal profile] tabaqui 2022-08-10 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
They do, but a lot don't seem to use the after-care services, and a few 'what ever happened' episodes showed people had gone right back to hording as bad as before. It just seems pretty optimistic and a little overly-ambitious to think that the really bad, long-term people are going to change much at all.

(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 08:15 am (UTC)(link)
but what would satisfy you then? like the way you talk it sounds like you think if the majority just continues why bother trying and that seems like a pretty cruel outlook to me

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(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I feel the same way. I find it too disturbing and too sad to watch, because whatever sense of healing or betterment the show contrives to sell the viewer is almost certainly 98% bullshit. This person's reality hasn't changed; they're still out there living with the same horrifying disorder, and probably living in conditions that quickly returned to what they previously were.

Also, from what little I recall, the show can be quite cruel to the people it pretends to be helping. Like, I'm not saying I would be any good at dealing with someone in that mental state. I'm deeply revolted by severe hording and I probably couldn't keep my feelings from coming out towards the person; I would not be a good hoarder therapist. But if you're going to build an entire show around the premise of "helping people who suffer from compulsive hoarding," then for fuck's sake, don't come at them with this idiotically patronizing, insensitive, "just be rational" approach.
tabaqui: (Default)

[personal profile] tabaqui 2022-08-10 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
I don't remember any of the people being actively cruel (I haven't seen every ep), but I do remember thinking that one day of the Got Junk guy trying to change a life-long hoarder's behavior is kind of....overly ambitious and pretty much doomed to failure.

I think the worst eps are the ones where animals are hoarded (and mistreated) - I can't watch those at all, especially when they fail to remove every single animal. It's too fucking evil.

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(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
I remember a TikToker that cleans houses for free (not only Aurikatariina) and many people ask her if she has found the people returning to make the houses dirty and if is frustrating to see all the work done just ruined like that. Both that Tiktoker and Auri had said that they do understand if the house owner do fall again in that habit because is not something they can "fix" in one-two weeks but many months or years with therapy, but they have mentioned other people felt that seeing their house clean have helped them to seek therapy and keep the house clean to keep the motivation.

Although I remember a woman that hoarded bunnies and each time someone told her to give them away because some of them were sick, she got so offensive and narcissist with "well, do it yourself, I don't care!" and leaved the place. I swear that's the one ep I couldn't watch again.
tabaqui: (Default)

[personal profile] tabaqui 2022-08-10 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, that's the worst; when their illness has robbed them of their ability to see that their animals that they 'love' are suffering.

I've watched Auri a couple times - I love how non-judgemental she is. I also love the way those apartments are made, with the bathrooms and sometimes kitchens all tile and stainless steel and you can just wash and rinse everything down a drain in the floor. Awesome!

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tw animal abuse/neglect

(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sure zillions of teddy bears was bad. It sounds heartless, but I hope it was only her affected. I haven't been able to watch a hoarders show since I saw the lady with the zillions of cats. That was... well, I don't know what was worse, the fact that she couldn't take care of them, or the fact that she couldn't let any of them go.

Re: tw animal abuse/neglect

(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
Watching the Animal Hoarders show was so awful. I used to work with a lot of animal rescues and you see that pop up in a lot of people who run rescues. They just can't fathom that they aren't the best place for an animal. The worst was finding out one of the rescue owners had been lying to us and was hoarding dogs. Leaving them to be euthanized would have been kinder than what happened to some of them.
tabaqui: (Default)

Re: tw animal abuse/neglect

[personal profile] tabaqui 2022-08-10 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, omg. I hate it when they have all these suffering, sick animals and just don't seem to care, and the clean-up people are finding dead ones in cages, dead ones buried under mounds of trash, just....gods. Some people should *never* be allowed animals at all, ever.

Re: tw animal abuse/neglect

(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
I remember an Animal police show where they raided a house full of cats and I swear seeing the ones so sick and on the edge of death made me cry pretty hard. Same with the lady that hoarded bunnies and got offended and victimized when someone pointed her bunnies were sick and needed veterinarian help or needed a new home, like "are you telling me I cannot take care of them? then go and give them yourself, I don't care!". I understand people with disorders or Diogenes/Noe syndrome, but I wanted to punch that woman.

(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
On the one hand, I sometimes will watch this in part to remind myself of what will happen if I continue down the path I've been going, on the other, I know, lik

SA

(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
Pressed post too quickly,

On the other hand part of me hopes it will get better fir the person, but like everyone above, i know very well that that's behavior that stems from things that need a lot of work first. It's sad. :/ But I hope their situations improve.

Anyway. I'm trying to shift gears now and watch this one YouTuber? Toktoker? I forget her name but she cleans houses or rooms for free. And that's kind of helpful. Because the messes she cleans are often worse than mine, so I tell myself that it's doable for me too. If she can do it, so can I. For myself it's mostly follow through and letting go of things that I don't need/no longer serve me.
tabaqui: (Default)

Re: SA

[personal profile] tabaqui 2022-08-10 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
Auri? She is very cool, cheerful, and non-judgemental. I like her a lot.

I always try to just clean in parts, or rooms - never try to do it all in one day or anything. I'm not excited about housework, but I also know that if my house is too cluttery or dusty/full of cat hair, it makes me stress, so.....

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(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
My mother’s a hoarder, and I was living with her in her shit until about a year ago.

I haven’t watched it in a while, but watching Hoarders for me was a game of “is she as bad as X/I’m never going to get out of this, so now I’m depressed/I’ve seen worse/filth anxiety”

My sister and I had to clean up the apartment where I live after she moved out, and the Japanese “We clean a hoarding house in one day” videos on YouTube are great not only for cleaning inspiration, but to also learn tips about how to clean certain things that your wouldn’t encounter unless you had to clean up a hoarding house.
tabaqui: (Default)

[personal profile] tabaqui 2022-08-10 12:34 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm glad you got to move away from her hoard, Anon.

(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 06:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Marie Kondo have helped me as well to see what clothes/stuff should I keep or throw away and not feeling bad if I give my clothes or throw stuff that "I might have used it someday".

I admit my room is a mess, but each time my mother tells me I might have Diogenes, I have to remember to her those people won't even throw trash away because "it still have a significance/might be useful" and is roting.

(Anonymous) 2022-08-10 12:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I have the opposite reaction when I watch it. I look around at my house and think, "eh, it's not so bad." LOL! My mom has the same reaction as you, OP.
dantesspirit: (Default)

[personal profile] dantesspirit 2022-08-10 04:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Every. Damn. Time.

It's gotten to where I cannot watch them anymore, they give me anxiety because it reminds me that my parents were/are hoarders, and even with my mom now living with my older brother, she still wants to keep everything. And that my other brother *is* a hoarder, whether he admits it or not.

I was called mean and hateful so many times when we went up this past May, when I helped sort through *cookbooks* (we got rid of over a dozen good sized boxes worth). I brought stuff back just to make her happy, that were immediately donated. And an entire box of vacation photos was trashed.

Our mental health care system is so broken.
Edited 2022-08-10 17:06 (UTC)