[ SECRET POST #5752 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5752 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 23 secrets from Secret Submission Post #823.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

It really is just incredibly, unbearably frustrating not knowing where you belong as an ace. I've never sought out ace-specific communities because of general queer spaces with aphobes telling me I should (because spiteful contrarianism and all that at the time) but seeing the trend going in the other direction and the general backlash from it makes me want to even less than before. I genuinely hate sharing my identity now because it just invites people to make broad assumptions about me, regardless of whether those people are queer or not. It doesn't feel like there's a "safe" way for me to say that I'm ace without people demanding to know whether I fall on the "sex-repulsed or not" binary (because of course it's a binary, I can't roll my eyes hard enough) and making a blanket judgment of me based on that, either of which boils down to "oh, you're one of THOSE asexuals." Because to everyone else, there's three kinds of aces: sex-repulsed, sex-loving, and asexuality isn't a thing.

Sex and gender is just too much goddamn work. It's too stressful. Why do we all have to focus so damn much on it? Can't we just focus on more interesting shit? I don't even care about being ace, I just want to pet cats and buy nice things.

[(Anonymous)]

Sex and gender is just too much goddamn work. It's too stressful.

Seriously. I feel like I spend so much time on all of this, and no matter what it's never going to make sense to me. I'm constantly trying to read about sexuality in an attempt to understand it all but everyone has a different opinion so I feel like I can never really get a handle on it and it's just so confusing and exhausting.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT
oh this. It's so stressful. Am a this or am that? What gender I am? How do you include talk about gender when your language and your history is wildly different from dominant English-speaking dialog?
What is even attraction? Am I gay? Maybe I am just ugly. Or just wrong? Or am I ace? Or straight? Is it bi? Why do we even care?

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, absolutely yes. I'm ace. I'm even pretty sure I'm aroace! But the last thing I want is to be interrogated into pinning down every last bit of my identity so people can make a judgement over me as to whether I'm genuine or pretending I'm a "special snowflake". Same goes for gender. I have books to read and a cat to feed, I don't have the time or energy for that conversation.

[(Anonymous)]

I've never engaged with the asexual (or greater queer) community for the precise reason in your second paragraph. Me not being interested in sex as about as relevant to my life as me not being interested in climbing Mount Everest -- why should I expend energy making this negative interest part of my life or personality?

(And agreed too with that first paragraph. My close friends/family know I'm asexual, but I mostly keep it under wraps for work and the internet because the assumptions are exhausting and I don't owe anyone an explanation.)

[(Anonymous)]

Society doesn't operate on the assumption that everyone in the world wants to and will climb Mount Everest because they believe it's an essential part of being human. Of course nobody has to make their sexuality part of their identity, but that's not a very apt comparison.