[ SECRET POST #5851 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5851 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 13 secrets from Secret Submission Post #837.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. https://i.imgur.com/JfhfQNe.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI

[(Anonymous)]

No, no, you're right. Making someone feel like a mutant is not an appropriate reaction to hearing that they don't like something you like. Neither is going into a hypercritical rant about bad and stupid something is right after somebody told you that they liked it. (I get that's not the same as bashing a person but I'm willing to bet that people who do this don't like it when people yuck their yum either.)

[pantswarrior]

...Yeah, I'm struggling with this a little right now because within the space of an hour yesterday two separate people in two separate social circles said in their own space (thus not directly aimed at me) some disparaging things about two different things I love.

I know perfectly well neither of them was attacking me and that people have different tastes, but dang, for some reason hearing either of those things belittled felt like a personal offense. I mean, I didn't act on it or say anything at all in response because I know it wasn't actually aimed at me, but it still for some reason hurt.

I mean I know why - it's because I associate myself very strongly with both those things. But I also know it's dumb to think they were judging me. I blame the neurodivergence.

[(Anonymous)]

No, I think you're right. People do get way too defensive if someone doesn't like what they like and often seem to consider it a personal judgment when it really isn't.

I can understand why people get defensive sometimes because there are a lot of people out there that think "I don't like this" means "therefore nobody else should and you're a bad person if you do." That isn't the case with everything though.

Like something or don't like something - it's all just opinions. Just let people like/not like stuff in peace.

[(Anonymous)]

I had a friend on Facebook who rarely interacted with any of my posts unless it had something to do with media or actors she didn’t like. Then she was on there lightning quick to express her hatred. It got so no one would engage with those posts and I didn’t share memes or anything. We’d been friends for years but I finally blocked her because by that point her only other character trait was loving one series. And her whole identity was wrapped up in that and it was why she hated everything else because it was “competition” or some stupid shit like that.

…sorry, didn’t mean to rant so much. Basically, I agree. I’m not into most things my friends are. Few of my friends like what I like. And that’s ok! It’s the people who don’t have mutual respect that I can’t stand.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't understand what the text on the right side is saying. Can I have an example of this behavior, either real or hypothetical?

[(Anonymous)]

For example:

Person A: Media X sucks and only dumb and stupid people would like it.
Person B: People aren't dumb and stupid for liking Media X. It's mean to say that.
Person A: It's not mean to dislike Media X, you are being too sensitive, not everyone has to like the things you like, I'm allowed to talk about things I don't like, etc.
Person B: You're entitled to not like Media X but that doesn't make it OK to insult others.


Basically, Person A is being an asshole - not because they dislike the thing, but because of the way they expressed their opinion. Person B calls them out on this but Person A thinks they are being called out because of their opinion, rather than the way they expressed their opinion.

[(Anonymous)]

I mean yes? Like what you like; dislike what you dislike, and more power to you.

But if you know you don't like tomatoes, and you open a tin labelled TOMATOES, and then complain loudly that what's inside is pulpy, sour fruit right next to people enjoying their lasagna... maybe accept that some snark is going to come your way. Or find a different tin.

[(Anonymous)]

I can't tell if you're confused about what OP is saying or if you think OP supports haters who knowingly go into things they hate in order to annoy others around them.

[(Anonymous)]

If I'm understanding you right, you're saying you don't like it when people go from saying "I don't like this thing" to saying "... and I think all the people who do like it are somehow bad." And you also don't like it when people treat "I don't like the thing" and "I am an over-the-top asshole about criticizing the thing" as if they were the same. Sounds fair to me, both ways.

I'd point out that, overall, the quality of conversations I've seen people have online, with strangers, has deteriorated a lot over time. And I tie this in to people making a lot of negative assumptions about each other and that being aggressively normalized. With fans being treated like they're somehow negligent if they're not paranoid enough.

When the social expectation is that misunderstandings probably indicate one side or the other is morally abhorrent ... it makes it very hard to address anything that has nuance or complexity or just takes some understanding *of each other* to get right. And a lot of people seem so lonely that they just go on attempting to socialize, online, even where the quality of the discussion has deteriorated to mass discord and yelling.