Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2023-01-12 05:45 pm
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[ SECRET POST #5851 ]
⌈ Secret Post #5851 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 13 secrets from Secret Submission Post #837.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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(Anonymous) 2023-01-13 12:41 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-13 01:00 am (UTC)(link)no subject
I know perfectly well neither of them was attacking me and that people have different tastes, but dang, for some reason hearing either of those things belittled felt like a personal offense. I mean, I didn't act on it or say anything at all in response because I know it wasn't actually aimed at me, but it still for some reason hurt.
I mean I know why - it's because I associate myself very strongly with both those things. But I also know it's dumb to think they were judging me. I blame the neurodivergence.
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(Anonymous) 2023-01-13 02:23 am (UTC)(link)I can understand why people get defensive sometimes because there are a lot of people out there that think "I don't like this" means "therefore nobody else should and you're a bad person if you do." That isn't the case with everything though.
Like something or don't like something - it's all just opinions. Just let people like/not like stuff in peace.
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(Anonymous) 2023-01-13 03:45 am (UTC)(link)…sorry, didn’t mean to rant so much. Basically, I agree. I’m not into most things my friends are. Few of my friends like what I like. And that’s ok! It’s the people who don’t have mutual respect that I can’t stand.
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(Anonymous) 2023-01-13 04:04 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-13 09:32 am (UTC)(link)Person A: Media X sucks and only dumb and stupid people would like it.
Person B: People aren't dumb and stupid for liking Media X. It's mean to say that.
Person A: It's not mean to dislike Media X, you are being too sensitive, not everyone has to like the things you like, I'm allowed to talk about things I don't like, etc.
Person B: You're entitled to not like Media X but that doesn't make it OK to insult others.
Basically, Person A is being an asshole - not because they dislike the thing, but because of the way they expressed their opinion. Person B calls them out on this but Person A thinks they are being called out because of their opinion, rather than the way they expressed their opinion.
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(Anonymous) 2023-01-13 06:58 am (UTC)(link)But if you know you don't like tomatoes, and you open a tin labelled TOMATOES, and then complain loudly that what's inside is pulpy, sour fruit right next to people enjoying their lasagna... maybe accept that some snark is going to come your way. Or find a different tin.
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(Anonymous) 2023-01-13 01:31 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2023-01-13 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)I'd point out that, overall, the quality of conversations I've seen people have online, with strangers, has deteriorated a lot over time. And I tie this in to people making a lot of negative assumptions about each other and that being aggressively normalized. With fans being treated like they're somehow negligent if they're not paranoid enough.
When the social expectation is that misunderstandings probably indicate one side or the other is morally abhorrent ... it makes it very hard to address anything that has nuance or complexity or just takes some understanding *of each other* to get right. And a lot of people seem so lonely that they just go on attempting to socialize, online, even where the quality of the discussion has deteriorated to mass discord and yelling.