[ SECRET POST #5933 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5933 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Will be missing a Friday post this week (traveling!). Just a heads up!

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 12 secrets from Secret Submission Post #850.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. https://i.imgur.com/2pDgCRx.png

[erinptah]

Ugh. I've been in the "someone deleted all my contributions" space, it sucks. (The person in question was trying to cast me as a nitpicky hater, and yeah, it sure is gonna look like that if all my gushing comments on the stuff I love have been deleted! Funny how that works.)

But -- and I'm guessing on some level you can sense this already -- wading back into the chat and dumping all the dirty laundry in the open is not going to be the triumphant, satisfying closure move you want it to be.

(Making a roundup post of receipts in your own space, and linking that to any personal friends that you wish knew the whole story, might work better? On the other hand, dragging your brain back through the mess might stir up the stress and resentment in a way that just makes you feel worse overall. Tread carefully, is what I'm trying to say.)

[meadowphoenix]

Going to be honest and say that i'd have told the truth the first time, and i don't care if you tell the truth now, as long as you don't think it will actually change anything.

i think when trying to protect mentally ill people who do bad behavior people make three main mistakes: to believe unquestioningly a) it is good that a person have community at the expense of other people, equally or more vulnerable than the first person, in that community, b) other people aren't well aware of that person's behavior, when it's just as likely that people don't speak up for the same reason you didn't, and c) that person has zero other communities.

i think it's a good and kind thought to try to preserve community for people who have trouble with it, but that perspective isn't altruistic to the community itself and infantilizes the person you're trying to protect, who in this case had power over the community, which means that thinking is incredibly warped. some of those reasons above may be true (although continuous doubt about A), but it's also okay if you don't justify your decision through perspectives you don't actually have confirmation of. you didn't want to make a stink. that was a good choice for you at the time. now it's not, you've got new information, and this isn't the law so there's not statute of limitations for anger

[(Anonymous)]

It is shitty, but going back and putting this person on blast is not going to make you feel better. Is your stuff still online elsewhere? Can you put it on AO3 backdated to the actual dates?

[(Anonymous)]

This is the internet. When people are needlessly hurtful, I say nuke their shit.

[feotakahari]

I’d ask for the contribution to be restored to the archive, but not air anything else.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. It's totally unfair.

Holding onto this is hurting you. Wading into these memories further will hurt you more, I promise. Let it go, dump her sad ass and those memories in the past. Take any of your contributions that should be saved and put them up elsewhere to be appreciated.

[(Anonymous)]

Don't do it. It'll make you just as petty and immature as her.

I got some pretty deep gossip on a former friend. One example: Unprompted, they bad mouthed a BNF neither of us really chatted to each other about but they were aware that I really liked the BNF's art.

It was ages ago, and when I'd ghosted the friend I had a moment where I was tempted to send the BNF a message
"hey we don't know each other but someone who knows you IRL talked shit about you, be careful"

But I know it would make me a petty bitch and I personally wouldn't want to live with myself knowing I went out of my way to talk bad about someone behind their back while trying to out them in some way.

Best to leave destruction in the past, don't create it. I know it's tempting AF because some people are major assholes. But I think that's a path of more messes being created. No thanks, I'm too tired for fandom drama.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so sorry OP, it really sucks.

I had been in this situation before. Was on a fandom forum and got into conflict with an admin. He started disliking me because we liked/stan different characters (his is fandoms #1 fav, mine is #2 fav), then it got worse after it was known I "read yaoi". There was a lot of homophobic and misogynistic stuff from him, and it all came to head when I drew a (intended to be) funny parody picture of him being a "hentai lover" (I mean, that's literally what he called himself back then lol. oh, the cringe of my early fandom years). Well, he went into rage and banned me for a few months. I shrugged it off because by that time I didn't see the forum as a pleasant place to be (he was online nearly 24/7 and always nitpicked on my posts/threads or even deleted them altogether) so I left. A few yers later I felt nostalgic and decided to check my old art/fic threads at the forum - wanted to reread comments and I never saved fics and arts from back then. Well, the forum has an arcive where the old threads get moved eventually, and guess what? There were no threads of mine there. the fucker completely deleted posts with my fics and arts. I don't care at this point but wow lmao, it's kinda funny to think he hated me this much.

re: making a callout post about the mod, I'm not sure it'd be helpfull to the community or satisfying to you, but you do you. I'd say do what the first commented advised (make a post with reciepts and give the link to ppl interested or to friends). Or playing dumb and straing up ask where are your contributions - like, up the sadness to the max Ohh I just wanted to see, why it's not there :'( etc etc, that'd work better imo.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, this is timely. I'm going through a similar thing right now. I know I didn't do anything wrong, and fortunately I got reinstated to the group I was banned from. But I'm at a loss for how to proceed, if I should say something to our mutual friends or not. I'm happy to give this person their space via mutual blocks but I don't think it's right for them to get away with petty bad behavior. The comments here are giving me a lot to think about.

[(Anonymous)]

ngl OP, in the same position I would be tempted to do that.
But it would be a good idea to think it over as something that would be worth it, or at least find out if somebody else is in the same situation as you, since it sounds a lot like she would do what she did again from the way you described it and the fact that she has erased your work and every possibility other peoples works too.