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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2009-05-30 04:22 pm

[ SECRET POST #876 ]


⌈ Secret Post #876 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 21 pages, 518 secrets from Secret Submission Post #126.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 4 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

[identity profile] bleed-peroxide.livejournal.com 2009-05-31 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
I'm the same way! I'm so glad someone has this mentality. I mean, I was best friends with this one guy for a little over a year before he asked me out, and we lasted romantically for a little over a year before I ended it for tl;dr reasons. But to this day, we're still good friends.

It was a wonderful experience, though, to not have to go through the "getting to know you" bullshit. He'd seen me when I wasn't acting like a girlfriend (ie eating like a bird or acting way more girly than I am to impress him) and we'd been good friends anyway, so we trusted each other completely. If he said he went about someplace with a bunch of his (girl) friends from band, I knew that he was doing just that, and the thought never crossed my mind that he was cheating, and vice versa.

When you're dating someone you barely know, you don't have that same security, which is what you would want from a relationship, you know? I think that if you can't even get along as friends first, why step into the dating territory? I mean, yeah, if a guy wants to take me out somewhere, then I'll accept if I like him and think we could get along. But I would want to get to know him before I label us officially.

[identity profile] christ-chexx-4u.livejournal.com 2009-05-31 02:30 pm (UTC)(link)
so we trusted each other completely. If he said he went about someplace with a bunch of his (girl) friends from band, I knew that he was doing just that, and the thought never crossed my mind that he was cheating, and vice versa.

EXACTLY!!

when i was 16, my boyfriend was 4 years older than me and in college 6 hours away. it never even occurred to me to be suspicious and jealous and wondering where he was at all times - even though my friends tried to tell me that that was exactly what i should have been doing. but i had already known him and worked with him on a daily basis for months - if i couldnt trust him, what would have been the point in deciding dating him?

[identity profile] bleed-peroxide.livejournal.com 2009-05-31 02:36 pm (UTC)(link)
if i couldnt trust him, what would have been the point in deciding dating him?

Oh my god, thank you. this is such a foreign concept to way too many people--don't date someone you can't trust! Simple shit, people.

(Anonymous) 2009-06-01 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
I think the 'getting to know you' bullshit is kind of fun, actually. :)

To be honest, with the 3 serious relationships I've been in, 2 were friends before we started going together, and neither worked out (one still friends with, the other, sadly no) and the last, was pretty much a stranger when we met, but I ended up marrying him!

[identity profile] bleed-peroxide.livejournal.com 2009-06-01 01:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not saying that anyone's horrible or stupid if that's what they prefer--please don't take it the wrong way. (Hell, my dad met my mom when he was stationed in Germany, and they were engaged after seven weeks. It's lasted twenty years thus far, so obviously it worked for them.) So I can't say that meeting and dating a stranger is "wrong" or something, since I wouldn't be alive if my parents hadn't! (I wouldn't even be American if they had.)

I'm just saying that I personally don't think it would work out well in most situations, especially with my personality. I'm actually quite shy with people until I get to know them, and then I'm a lot more talkative. So me being with a stranger who's supposed to be my boyfriend? Not a good scenario for me :X
Edited 2009-06-01 13:27 (UTC)