Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2009-05-30 04:22 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2009-05-30 04:22 pm
[ SECRET POST #876 ]
⌈ Secret Post #876 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 21 pages, 518 secrets from Secret Submission Post #126.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 4 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
I can understand where you're coming from. I would likely feel very uncomfortable in that situation as well--I mean, some people don't seem to understand that hey, I want to know you before we tied ourselves to one another. It'll sound weird, but I don't want my dating history, so to speak, to be littered with a bunch of failed relationships simply because we started dating to know one another, you know? I want all the guys I date to be significant to me, and dating a stranger wouldn't make him significant, you know? I guess I'm just very particular about who I date, and if I date a bunch of strangers... I dunno. Yeah, I may have had a boyfriend once in all my eighteen years, but he was a wonderful friend of mine, and we lasted over a year in our first relationship (it was our first for both). Even now, we still get along wonderfully post-breakup. I'd rather have that than a string of failed relationships simply because we hardly knew one another.
I think that (hopefully) there'll be a guy who comes along with a similar mindset. If nothing else, the type of guy you'd want to date would probably appreciate that you want to really get to understand him, not just become fuck buddies. I don't consider going out to eat with someone of the opposite (or same, depending on your preferences) to talk is a "date"--I consider it just that. I've had a lot of people considering my going out with my male friend of several years a "date" or that we must be dating because we hang out, and I'm just asdfdsf NO NO NO.
We sometimes are the "weird" ones because we're more selective, but it'll do us HUGE amounts of good in the future. ♥
no subject
I don't want my dating history, so to speak, to be littered with a bunch of failed relationships
i just turned 23 and have only had 2 ACTUAL boyfriends. ive had people accuse me of being a prude, or too picky, but it isnt that i havent had offers. its that i dont WANT to date someone just to be able to say that im dating someone.
I've had a lot of people considering my going out with my male friend of several years a "date" or that we must be dating because we hang out, and I'm just asdfdsf NO NO NO.
my sister is so baffled by me and my best guyfriend. im happily single, hes got a live-in girlfriend, but we have dinner and hang out whenever we can, we spend HOURS on the phone...because we're F R I E N D S. i dont do anything differently with him than i do with any of my female friends...when did it get so ridiculous that men and women can just hang out without having some sort of agenda??
We sometimes are the "weird" ones because we're more selective, but it'll do us HUGE amounts of good in the future. ♥
SO. TRUE!!
no subject
ive had people accuse me of being a prude, or too picky, but it isnt that i havent had offers. its that i dont WANT to date someone just to be able to say that im dating someone.
I've had multiple people ask me if I'm gay or something because I haven't dated hardly any guys. (Which makes me go wtf, if I were gay, why would I even mention dating guys?) I'm just a shy person until you get to know me, so me going up to a guy to ask him out is out of the question, and guys my age tend to be looking for sex, not a relationship. A lot of people feel that they must to be a relationship in order to be happy or to be considered "in" or whatever-the-hell, so they can't fathom the mentality that you don't have to date the first person that comes their way.
when did it get so ridiculous that men and women can just hang out without having some sort of agenda??
OMG THIS. My guy friend joined the Army, and so my sister and I were really happy when he came back for Memorial Day to visit everyone. We wanted to spend some time with him, so yeah, we (my sister and I) all but clung to him as we went about the church. Several people started asking parents which one of us was dating him--one of their friends assumed it was my sister because zomg!she wore color instead of the typical black shirts we wear, so she had to be dating him. Um, wtf people, we haven't seen him in months! Of course we're gonna hang out with him and such! You never can just hang with someone of the opposite gender, and treat them like a good friend, without people assuming you can only act that way with people you're friends with. :|
EDIT: Adding hardly any guys clarifies it JUST a tad.
no subject
most definitely. haha thank god i dont give a fuck whats supposed to be "in".
You never can just hang with someone of the opposite gender, and treat them like a good friend, without people assuming you can only act that way with people you're friends with. :|
the way people interpret what they see amuses the hell out of me. my best female friend and i have often said that we're sure someone out there sees us, constantly hugging and putting our arms around each other and finishing each others sentences, and assumes that we're dating. when in reality its because weve been best friends for over 10 years and are so comfortable with one another that at this point were basically family. meanwhile my best guyfriend and i, when we're out, are asked equally if we are dating or related. i am extremely disturbed by the fact that our behavior can apparently be classified as either.
bottom line? DON'T ASSUME THINGS!! ass, you, me...theres a reason that phrase exists!
(glad you like the username, im actually kinda sick of it. i wish i wasnt morally opposed to the idea of paying money for a rename token.)
no subject
Ugh, I get that too, and I don't understand that at all. When did being selective become a bad thing? These people really think it's just better to date whoever just so you're not alone? It's somebody I could potentially spend the rest of my life with. Day after day, waking up next to them. Why WOULDN'T I be picky?
Honestly, being picky was the best thing I ever did for myself. Saved me lots of emotional involvement with losers or guys I would not be romantically compatible with.