fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6053 ]

[ SECRET POST #6053 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6053 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Evan and Kaitlyn/Orphan Black]

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[Arknights; art by Gloomspiral]

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Notes:

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For people who deal with depression (or other mental illness), what are your tricks for motivating yourself to get out of bed, go to work, live life when you are in a particularly bad period?

I give myself something to look forward to. Like, if I get out of bed and get to work, I'll buy my favorite food for lunch instead of the lunch I made at home. Or I'll ignore the chores and watch that movie I've been wanting to after work. etc etc. I'll also only listen to or watch things that I know or strongly suspect will make me laugh. Even if I'm too depressed to physically laugh at anything, my mood does lighten up. I make sure to keep to my sleep schedule, no matter how much I want to sleep immediately after work.

Sleep schedule is the hardest thing but the most helpful.

By personifying the depression and taking an actively hostile stance toward it.

It's a smug fucking asshole, and I'm not giving it the satisfaction of lying in bed. I'm going to do the thing just so I can I laugh in its face and tell it that it's lost.

nayrt - but oh I like that one.

This probably absolutely no help, but I just reached a state where I know deep in my depressed self that if I don't get up and do it nobody will, and things need to get done. It helps to have other living things depending on me: The dog needs to be walked. The plants need to be watered. But generally it's enough to just recite to myself "it will only be worse if you don't get up" type of stuff. Even if I'm just robotically going through the movements and not really there, at least I'm up and moving.

Work has never been a problem for me. I have a probably unhealthy work ethic (as in I never call out and work too much) but the upside is that it always wins the battle with the depression and anxiety.

I'm sorry you're struggling. I hope things get better.

Eventually I hit a point where I started saying "my partner deserves better." But it works for me because my partner is a very loving person so making one self better for their sake... it's not a burden.

DA - for years I did this, but substitute dog for partner. But now she's elderly and honestly doesn't need me to be up and about as much and I have definitely been back sliding on self care and healthy habits.

My partner is my main motivator on my bad days. He struggles when I'm low since he's very practical and not particularly emotional and how I feel some days just doesn't make sense to him.

So I think "I'll clean so it'll be nice for him when he comes home" or "I don't want him to see me still laying around in bed when he's been at work" and that'll usually kickstart me to get up and do shit. So I guess my motivator is I want to do better for him, because I know it's not easy to deal with every day.

Habit, and the knowledge that if I let myself call out every time I felt kinda depressed or sore or nauseous or whatever, I'd run through my sick leave and be out of a job. I have to be actively puking or have just stepped on a bee or have some kind of emergency to call out.

But on my days off sometimes I'll do the bare minimum of necessary life stuff (feed self and pets, do laundry, take out trash) and then just nap/eat junk food/watch comfort movies/read favorite books.

If I have the money, sometimes I'll preorder a book or order plants (I like to garden) that ship later, to give myself something to look forward to.

And I go for a rambling walk every evening unless I went for a hike or whatever during the day; it seems to help keep my anxiety below the "holy shit I'm doomed" level. It also counts as screen time since I read and poke around online on my phone, and if I'm lucky I get to pet a dog or cat or two.

It cuts into "get shit done" time, but if I went straight home post work or spent all day marinating in silly movies on my days off I'd spend way more time beating myself up for everything I didn't accomplish than actually doing anything productive. At least this way I get some exercise.

It helps that most of my depressive shit these days is hormonal so I tell myself "this happens every month and you cry and freak out and then it's over."

When I had/have horrible rl shit happening I just grit my teeth and try to remember I've already survived tons of misery so I can probably do it again.

The only trick that has worked for me is citalopram.

Read about this trick somewhere. I use app d-10 dice to start moving. So if I get 1-4 I can get on being in bed and browse internet. If I get 6-10 OH WE ARE ROLLING FROM THE BED. If 5 depends how bad everything actually is. When I start moving I start moving and it's manageable

I worked with/worshipped a war goddess when I was in the deeper parts of my depression the last few years and every time I got up to do something I likened it to going to war and taking back my body sovereignty. Worked every time.

I cut back on extra commitments. Work days I focus on work, commute, home chores, have space to be by myself and try to grapple with sleep.
Weekends, I know I will want at least 1 day to be free to not do anything. Just sleep, maybe eat, scroll my phone, maybe do a chore or something but I don't pressure myself.
Most weekends I allow 1 or 2 days where I make 1 or 2 social plans. Visit my parents for a couple hours, visit my siblings, meet up with a friend, call my best friend since he lives far away and catch up, if I'm not in a mood to socialize with family/friends I still make a plan to go grocery shopping or clothes shopping or visiting the park/library and just enjoy my time out. Sometimes I talk to strangers, most days I don't really. And I usually put a time limit on these social tasks, a minimum I know I can deal with and a max so that I don't overdue it and feel the burnout way after.

It really is a fine balancing act.
One time recently there was a 4 week period where a friend and I were feeling affected by our depression at separate moments so it was a lot of planning and canceling on each other.
It's nice to have an understanding friend and to be an understanding friend. Like, no, it's not that I don't want to see her, it's that the world is too much and I just want to be alone for a while. And then no, my friend isn't mad at me, she needs a break from the world and wants to be alone for a while.
It was lovely to catch up with her for a couple hours when we finally were able to hang out.

I think I might be somewhere on the autism spectrum. Also I definitely have depression. Anyway, what I do is make mindless routines. I get up, go to the bathroom, brush teeth, take meds, change, grab socks and put them in my pocket, kiss the husbeast while he sleeps, go to kitchen, put on socks and shoes, pack lunch, pour cereal, eat, fill waterbottle, get in car, drive same route, get to office, take a short walk, sign in, check email.

My brain is engaged while driving but everything else is basically reflex. I'd be more depressed if I stopped doing this stuff because then I wouldn't do anything at all.

Also, anti depressants changed my fucking life. Before I got on them every little thing made me want to quit.

How did I make this routine while in the absolute depths? Idk. I guess I just followed the path of least resistance to get from bed to the office.

The hard part was making myself do things I enjoy. Eating good food and not just boxed mac and cheese, reading, practicing hobbies, talking to people. I'd kind of build one on top of the other. I have to text my college buddy. But I have to have something interesting to say otherwise I'm just bothering him. So I have to read a book and learn something. And so on. It didn't work *well* but I'm still here and still trying.

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[ SECRET POST #6053 ]

Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation

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Re: Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation

Re: Depression and motivation